Recovery fallacies and misconceptions.
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 270
Favorite misconceptions of mine might be the foundations of other's beliefs and outlooks.
The saying that is heard often among people with little sober time is 'whoever got up first today is the most sober', which invites the observation that the next time those who believe that's so have a serious problem they should find a newcomer who was shaking it out all night and take their problem to them for some good advice based on solid principles and experience, and not bother the people who slept well and long.
If they wouldn't do that, then what does that mean regarding that low time mantra? Does it mean something is amiss with what they said? Is it still a misconception if it continues to be chanted out by many? Could so many newer people be so utterly wrong?
The saying that is heard often among people with little sober time is 'whoever got up first today is the most sober', which invites the observation that the next time those who believe that's so have a serious problem they should find a newcomer who was shaking it out all night and take their problem to them for some good advice based on solid principles and experience, and not bother the people who slept well and long.
If they wouldn't do that, then what does that mean regarding that low time mantra? Does it mean something is amiss with what they said? Is it still a misconception if it continues to be chanted out by many? Could so many newer people be so utterly wrong?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
Originally Posted by cabledude 
'whoever got up first today is the most sober
I guess if you're 20 years sober and you've changed nothing and you're life is still screwed up then the saying applies but if you're 20 years sober and have fundamentally changed and got a new life the saying doesn't apply!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
Originally Posted by Bamboozle
Misconceptions on addiction:
--There is a reliable treatment for addiction.
--There is a reliable treatment for addiction.
If i believed that statement i wouldn't bother doing anything myself either?
Member of SMART Recovery
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,722
Originally Posted by cabledude
Favorite misconceptions of mine might be the foundations of other's beliefs and outlooks.
The saying that is heard often among people with little sober time is 'whoever got up first today is the most sober', which invites the observation that the next time those who believe that's so have a serious problem they should find a newcomer who was shaking it out all night and take their problem to them for some good advice based on solid principles and experience, and not bother the people who slept well and long.
If they wouldn't do that, then what does that mean regarding that low time mantra? Does it mean something is amiss with what they said? Is it still a misconception if it continues to be chanted out by many? Could so many newer people be so utterly wrong?
The saying that is heard often among people with little sober time is 'whoever got up first today is the most sober', which invites the observation that the next time those who believe that's so have a serious problem they should find a newcomer who was shaking it out all night and take their problem to them for some good advice based on solid principles and experience, and not bother the people who slept well and long.
If they wouldn't do that, then what does that mean regarding that low time mantra? Does it mean something is amiss with what they said? Is it still a misconception if it continues to be chanted out by many? Could so many newer people be so utterly wrong?
OTT
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 581
The biggest fallacy in recovery that I know is the idea that I must wage a lifelong, one-day-at-a-time battle against an obsession to drink/drug.
The program of AA promises us freedom. If we have a spiritual experience through doing the steps.
One day at a time was never meant as a reference to not drinking-- it was meant as a way to live. They are different.
The program of AA promises us freedom. If we have a spiritual experience through doing the steps.
One day at a time was never meant as a reference to not drinking-- it was meant as a way to live. They are different.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 581
Originally Posted by onlythetruth
Well, the "whoever got up first today is most sober" idea is based on the "one day at a time" philosophy espoused by 12 step programs. I personally think it is a twisted interpretation of the idea, but one does hear it repeated pretty frequently in the rooms and I think that is unfortunate. Frankly, if recovery was nothing more than a daily repeat of Day One, nobody would want it!
OTT
OTT
It is a phrase from rehabs that crept into AA lingo.
Ch5 HOW
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Queens, NY
Posts: 175
Originally Posted by FrothyJay
One day at a time is not espoused by the 12 step program of Alcoholics Anonymous.
It is a phrase from rehabs that crept into AA lingo.
It is a phrase from rehabs that crept into AA lingo.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 581
Originally Posted by ReadyAndAble
I couldn't agree more with Zencat.
If someone's an alcoholic, I'd say putting the drink down is a damn fine start. It's odd to see that trivialized here.
If someone's an alcoholic, I'd say putting the drink down is a damn fine start. It's odd to see that trivialized here.
Laozi Old Man
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 6,665
Originally Posted by ReadyAndAble
I couldn't agree more with Zencat.
If someone's an alcoholic, I'd say putting the drink down is a damn fine start. It's odd to see that trivialized here.
If someone's an alcoholic, I'd say putting the drink down is a damn fine start. It's odd to see that trivialized here.
Like a car starting out in first gear, you will blow an engine if you stay in first gear too long!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 4,451
OK, sorry, maybe I should have phrased that differently. I guess what I question is the presumption that the "BUT" applies to all alcoholics. The only universal truth I see is the need to stop drinking. The rest... well, I think it depends on the person.
Personally I have several goals that extend beyond abstinence from alcohol. I do not believe my continued sobriety depends entirely on them, but they certainly can't hurt. However, I'm not sure that everybody has a laundry list of other issues. From what I read here at SR, there are people who seem to have all the internal and external elements in place for a happy life—except of course sobriety.
Are you guys saying that for EVERYONE drinking is just the tip of a spiritual and/or psychological iceberg?
Again, apologies if I came off too flip or harsh. I think this is an interesting topic and respect everyone's personal experiences.
Personally I have several goals that extend beyond abstinence from alcohol. I do not believe my continued sobriety depends entirely on them, but they certainly can't hurt. However, I'm not sure that everybody has a laundry list of other issues. From what I read here at SR, there are people who seem to have all the internal and external elements in place for a happy life—except of course sobriety.
Are you guys saying that for EVERYONE drinking is just the tip of a spiritual and/or psychological iceberg?
Again, apologies if I came off too flip or harsh. I think this is an interesting topic and respect everyone's personal experiences.
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Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 270
More fun misconceptions...
Resentments are perfectly ok to keep massaging and fanning into a white heat if the alcoholic believes it's justified to do so, even if the parties they are furious with are unaware, don't care, or are long dead, because it helps them process and heal the anger they feel by remaining very angry.
Alcoholics who get loaded out of their tiny minds on dope somehow remain sober through the experience somehow, and it's not obvious to everyone what's going on when they carefully state they are 'alcohol free'.
Someone who stays sober 7 1/2 weeks and drinks for a week and then doesn't for a week is actually now 8 1/2 weeks sober. Even more than that if they count that summer before the 6th grade when they didn't hardly drink much at all.
Resentments are perfectly ok to keep massaging and fanning into a white heat if the alcoholic believes it's justified to do so, even if the parties they are furious with are unaware, don't care, or are long dead, because it helps them process and heal the anger they feel by remaining very angry.
Alcoholics who get loaded out of their tiny minds on dope somehow remain sober through the experience somehow, and it's not obvious to everyone what's going on when they carefully state they are 'alcohol free'.
Someone who stays sober 7 1/2 weeks and drinks for a week and then doesn't for a week is actually now 8 1/2 weeks sober. Even more than that if they count that summer before the 6th grade when they didn't hardly drink much at all.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 4,451
Oh yeah, cabledude, I agree resentments only hurt the one who feels them. Goes for even minor stuff I think, like someone cutting me off in traffic.
I haven't encountered those other types. But not sure I care what they do or say, either. Goes back to the whole resentment point...
I haven't encountered those other types. But not sure I care what they do or say, either. Goes back to the whole resentment point...
Ch5 HOW
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Queens, NY
Posts: 175
- Service will keep you sober. (Barf)
- Sobriety is in the coffee pot.
- No Meetings, no sobriety. Some meetings, some sobriety. A lot of meetings, a lot of sobriety.
- I didn't drink today, so I'm a winner.
- It's a "we program. (No it isn't, it's a spiritual program).
- Sobriety is in the coffee pot.
- No Meetings, no sobriety. Some meetings, some sobriety. A lot of meetings, a lot of sobriety.
- I didn't drink today, so I'm a winner.
- It's a "we program. (No it isn't, it's a spiritual program).
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Northern Virginia
Posts: 1
Why is alcohol addiction so different?
This is my first post here and I am hoping for a little insight or clarification. Why does there seem to be so many fallacies and misconceptions about alcohol addiction and quitting vs. quitting another addiction such as nicotine? It seems that quitting nicotine everyone is happy for you but quit alcohol and everyone is waiting to label you a jerk (dry drunk) or a relapse waiting to happen because you don't follow AA, admit you are powerless, or somebody's idea of a recovery program. Can't you just decide you had enough alcohol in your life, quit, get over it, and move on with your life? Is this impossible to do? What am I missing here?
I don't know whether to draw parallels or not here but I quit a two can a day habit of chewing tobacco 4.5 years ago that I developed over 33 years basically cold turkey and with the help of an online support group. It was rough both physically and mentally and took a lot of will power but it got better over time. Did I have bad days? Heck yes, short tempered irritable, anxious, difficulty concentrating, sleeping, indecision, depression and feeling sorry for myself. Was I a Dry Nicotine Addict? No one was trying to label me as such. I got over it and moved on.
Are people worried every day that I might go back to using nicotine. Not that I am aware. I just don't want to do it. Same with alcohol. So am I being naive here? Can't somebody just quit and be a nice guy and have fun, be happy, and be glad they don't have to put up with all side of alcohol abuse without everyone whispering, well he didn't go to AA so he's not serious about quitting. What is that all about? Can't people just let somebody quit on their own? I do take advantage of counseling, eat well, educated myself on the disease, exercise and lurk on these support sites. I know it is a challenge, no walk in the park, but I got to believe time is on your side here. The desires and cravings get smaller every day.
Curious to hear what other's thoughts are on this.
I don't know whether to draw parallels or not here but I quit a two can a day habit of chewing tobacco 4.5 years ago that I developed over 33 years basically cold turkey and with the help of an online support group. It was rough both physically and mentally and took a lot of will power but it got better over time. Did I have bad days? Heck yes, short tempered irritable, anxious, difficulty concentrating, sleeping, indecision, depression and feeling sorry for myself. Was I a Dry Nicotine Addict? No one was trying to label me as such. I got over it and moved on.
Are people worried every day that I might go back to using nicotine. Not that I am aware. I just don't want to do it. Same with alcohol. So am I being naive here? Can't somebody just quit and be a nice guy and have fun, be happy, and be glad they don't have to put up with all side of alcohol abuse without everyone whispering, well he didn't go to AA so he's not serious about quitting. What is that all about? Can't people just let somebody quit on their own? I do take advantage of counseling, eat well, educated myself on the disease, exercise and lurk on these support sites. I know it is a challenge, no walk in the park, but I got to believe time is on your side here. The desires and cravings get smaller every day.
Curious to hear what other's thoughts are on this.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
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Welcome to SR and good for you for deciding to live a sober life.
I didn't tell anyone when I stopped drinking because I was very vulnerable and I wasn't looking for unwanted input about my decision. I did, however, choose to lose a couple of people in my life who were toxic.
I didn't tell anyone when I stopped drinking because I was very vulnerable and I wasn't looking for unwanted input about my decision. I did, however, choose to lose a couple of people in my life who were toxic.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Roadkill123...
No ... AA is not the only way...and the text book
"Alcoholics Anonymous" states that.
Many of our SR members are happily successfuuly sober
by useing vvarious ways. I hope counseling gives
you a sober joy filled life.
Welcome to our recovery community
No ... AA is not the only way...and the text book
"Alcoholics Anonymous" states that.
Many of our SR members are happily successfuuly sober
by useing vvarious ways. I hope counseling gives
you a sober joy filled life.
Welcome to our recovery community
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Denver, colorado
Posts: 16
I'm surprised to hear that the need for life on a spiritual basis is considered a fallacy?
In my experience, some kind of spiritual solution is necessary for true recovery, as opposed to just abstinence. At least for me.
In my experience, some kind of spiritual solution is necessary for true recovery, as opposed to just abstinence. At least for me.
Member of SMART Recovery
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,722
Originally Posted by Starryknight
I'm surprised to hear that the need for life on a spiritual basis is considered a fallacy?
In my experience, some kind of spiritual solution is necessary for true recovery, as opposed to just abstinence. At least for me.
In my experience, some kind of spiritual solution is necessary for true recovery, as opposed to just abstinence. At least for me.
It is also a fallacy to claim that people who utilize secular recovery paths were never alcoholics in the first place, or that they cannot be enjoying "true" recovery.
OTT
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