Unhappy In My Job

Old 04-30-2010, 03:49 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
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Unhappy In My Job

I was unemployed for like a month after leaving my last job. Then I started this job last week. Its just a filler job. Its calling companies and booking appointments. After having done door to door sales I found that I have been doing pretty well.

That said. I am unhappy in the job. I am bored. I feel restless and there have been days when I just didn't feel like coming in to work or staying the whole day. Its an elect to work place (which means the supervisor comes round every day after lunch and asks you if you want to work the next day. You don't get penalized for saying no and you can ask to leave earlier and start later etc) and most people there appear to be only passing through. 'Long Term' employees are those that have been there a year. Nearly everyone that I sit next to has started within the last two weeks or so.

I've had this problem at every job. After a while I get bored, restless, disgruntled etc. Is this just me or is that a symptom of the alcoholism?

Also, I fell off the band wagon two weeks ago, and I'm regretting it because I haven't got around to getting back on. I know my life is better without alcohol and the withdrawal three weeks ago only lasted a day and a half but for some reason I feel terrified of not having alcohol around to comfort me. I'm afraid to let go again. Those 5 days when I was sober I felt completely normal. Even the cravings late at night were pretty mild. I have an emotional addiction to alcohol. During the last 2 weeks I haven't applied for a single proper job like I was supposed to. I know the drill. When I drink everything just seems to scary to deal with. I don't want to do this again.

My last long term sobriety was last year for 5 months and I realized something. I was unhappy in the job that I had prior to that. I had been unhappy for a long, long, time. But, I would come home, and I would drink, and instead of doing something about it i.e. applying for jobs every night like a crazy person. I just sat there and drank. One day turned into two years at a job that I hated and that wasn't taking me anywhere professionally.

I didn't take action until the department was being shut down and I HAD to find a new job. Then I got a job in my field. But, I'd been drinking for quite a while and didn't understand just how impaired my thinking was and how many bad alcoholic habits I had that became glaringly obvious in a new smaller company where I had to work one on one with the chief accountant. I couldn't think clearly, I couldn't remember anything, I was unaccustomed to showing up on time and actually working a full 8 hour day.

I want to be sober because when I do get the professional job, I need to be mentally fit to succeed at it. I'm afraid that if I dont stop drinking, I will realize like at the end of the year that I've been in that job for the last 8 months. I want to feel the discomfort because that's the only way I'm going to be motivated enough to do the work to leave. I want to get a better paying job so I can go back to school. I want to finish my education. I want to pay off my debt. I want to be able to accomplish my dream of starting a business by the time I am 35. I want to be able to stop writing about these things and actually get off my tuchus and do them.
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Old 04-30-2010, 03:59 PM
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Hi Life Blows

I found drinking made it very easy for me to accept anything - even things that were bad for me because, apart from anything else, drinking zapped my motivation and attacked my self esteem.

I think if you work hard on your sobriety, everything else will start to fall into place
D
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