Cell
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 3
Cell
Hello Everybody,
I recently was think about addictions. I had some people stop buy that haven't been to successful at recovery. That being said listening to them I realized something so I figured I would share it. This is just personal experiance and a specific person so please take no offence if it doesn't qualify for you.
Addicted people have really short term goals. How am I going to get another fix. Modivated addicts tend to me more along the lines of were am I going to get my next fix and how am I going to make sure I don't need to ask myself were am I going to get my next fix.
Its hard not to notice that in either of these situations you are still only looking far enough ahead to your next paycheque at best and right now as a worse case.
Its almost like watched a hamster in a hamster wheel. They are going as fast as they can. Going around and around chasing the same thing. But deep down in side they still know they are in a jail cell.
The worse part is people start decorating there cell by lying and telling me about how wonderful everything is and you know what they almost have themselves convinced that they are doing good. But if you ask anyone of them whats your plan in 5 years they all look at you like 5 years will never happen. They are still worred about tommorow.
When you start decorating your cell its when you have conceded and are fully aware that you aren't leaving anytime soon, even if you try. You need to decorate your new world of freedom and not pine over your old cell to be happy.
When I quit I lived in the same place for about a month. After comming home each day to a horrible appartment covered in beerstains and cigarette burns I was like thats it I have more money now I am moving up and dedicated my time to moving forward not backwards and more then a year has gone by and I never look at my old dingy appartment and think I can't wait to get back there. Its just a reminder of why I keep going forward.
Hope that helps a bit, sorry if I offended anybody.
Ben
I recently was think about addictions. I had some people stop buy that haven't been to successful at recovery. That being said listening to them I realized something so I figured I would share it. This is just personal experiance and a specific person so please take no offence if it doesn't qualify for you.
Addicted people have really short term goals. How am I going to get another fix. Modivated addicts tend to me more along the lines of were am I going to get my next fix and how am I going to make sure I don't need to ask myself were am I going to get my next fix.
Its hard not to notice that in either of these situations you are still only looking far enough ahead to your next paycheque at best and right now as a worse case.
Its almost like watched a hamster in a hamster wheel. They are going as fast as they can. Going around and around chasing the same thing. But deep down in side they still know they are in a jail cell.
The worse part is people start decorating there cell by lying and telling me about how wonderful everything is and you know what they almost have themselves convinced that they are doing good. But if you ask anyone of them whats your plan in 5 years they all look at you like 5 years will never happen. They are still worred about tommorow.
When you start decorating your cell its when you have conceded and are fully aware that you aren't leaving anytime soon, even if you try. You need to decorate your new world of freedom and not pine over your old cell to be happy.
When I quit I lived in the same place for about a month. After comming home each day to a horrible appartment covered in beerstains and cigarette burns I was like thats it I have more money now I am moving up and dedicated my time to moving forward not backwards and more then a year has gone by and I never look at my old dingy appartment and think I can't wait to get back there. Its just a reminder of why I keep going forward.
Hope that helps a bit, sorry if I offended anybody.
Ben
Go ask the Multivax
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 2,481
Its almost like watched a hamster in a hamster wheel.
I use that visual myself. It was certainly when I was active. Now, I find I have about 50 hampster wheels that were there all the while. I get off of one and onto another. It wasn't until recovery that I could see the whole landscape of hampster wheel after hampster wheel. I've gotten rid of many. But, I have a few more to move. ;-)
Thanks.
I use that visual myself. It was certainly when I was active. Now, I find I have about 50 hampster wheels that were there all the while. I get off of one and onto another. It wasn't until recovery that I could see the whole landscape of hampster wheel after hampster wheel. I've gotten rid of many. But, I have a few more to move. ;-)
Thanks.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,772
The worse part is people start decorating there cell by lying and telling me about how wonderful everything is and you know what they almost have themselves convinced that they are doing good
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
I heard a great thing in counselling.
Study was done, a group of school children were either allowed to have a small lollipop before doing their homework or a much bigger lollipop after doing their homework..the choice was theirs and no explanation was given as to why this should be.
The children that chose the big lollipop all received excellent grades, the children that decided night upon night to have the smaller lollipop had much lower grades...i love that study...
Prior to recovery i thought the world and people kept dealing me rough hands, that it was only a matter of time before whatever good thing happened to me would be taken away or i would lose it so i learned to live very short term...why make plans when it is all going to go **** up anyway!
Having done the work and realised i was very sick upstairs before and knowing now that i am not insane anymore it is quite the revelation to realise that indeed it would be wiser to go for the big lollipop and that the only person that can make a mess of things in my life is me!
I lived in a small studio flat when getting sober and loved it, i would go for coffee and cigs everyday at a local bar with AA friends it was great and yes i have moved on which is the whole essence of life...change...i will go back to see my friends and i do have fond memories but no i won't be ABLE to move back to the same position now because i am not the same person, and thats recovery and life for me in a nut shell...change:-)
Study was done, a group of school children were either allowed to have a small lollipop before doing their homework or a much bigger lollipop after doing their homework..the choice was theirs and no explanation was given as to why this should be.
The children that chose the big lollipop all received excellent grades, the children that decided night upon night to have the smaller lollipop had much lower grades...i love that study...
Prior to recovery i thought the world and people kept dealing me rough hands, that it was only a matter of time before whatever good thing happened to me would be taken away or i would lose it so i learned to live very short term...why make plans when it is all going to go **** up anyway!
Having done the work and realised i was very sick upstairs before and knowing now that i am not insane anymore it is quite the revelation to realise that indeed it would be wiser to go for the big lollipop and that the only person that can make a mess of things in my life is me!
I lived in a small studio flat when getting sober and loved it, i would go for coffee and cigs everyday at a local bar with AA friends it was great and yes i have moved on which is the whole essence of life...change...i will go back to see my friends and i do have fond memories but no i won't be ABLE to move back to the same position now because i am not the same person, and thats recovery and life for me in a nut shell...change:-)
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: LA - Lower Alabama
Posts: 5,068
Study was done, a group of school children were either allowed to have a small lollipop before doing their homework or a much bigger lollipop after doing their homework..the choice was theirs and no explanation was given as to why this should be.
The children that chose the big lollipop all received excellent grades, the children that decided night upon night to have the smaller lollipop had much lower grades...i love that study...
The children that chose the big lollipop all received excellent grades, the children that decided night upon night to have the smaller lollipop had much lower grades...i love that study...
Do you have a link to that study? Sounds like something I'd be interested in.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
had a quick look on google didn't find it, not in touch with that counselor either anymore i would love to read about it too in more detail if you find it, she was a nice lady (counselor) i should make contact again will see if i can dig up her email and say hi...
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