Is there a tool you use to remind yourself "No!"

Old 02-15-2010, 05:09 PM
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Is there a tool you use to remind yourself "No!"

After going on a bender (I don't drink everyday) and my hangover goes away and my paycheck replenishes my bank account ... coming home from work my brain likes to play this trick "well, guess I can stop for "happy hour" just for a couple ... maybe until it gets dark".

This usually repeats itself with the same results, leaving in the wee hours of he morning.

Why is my memory so poor? I'm past the point on a intellectual level of knowing it's not likely I'll visit for a reasonable amount of time.
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Old 02-15-2010, 05:29 PM
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PBoy....
I hope you will soon find your way into a
healthier future.
Perhaps an addiction professional can assist you.

Please quit danceing around with alcohol.
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Old 02-16-2010, 07:26 AM
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I think that you need to make some basic changes.

Go home from work a different way so you don't go near the Happy Hour place. Head for the gym after work, or go home and cook yourself a good meal.
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Old 02-16-2010, 07:41 AM
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My experience is summed up in this quote. I could go for a while, reminding myself of all the bad consequences of me taking a drink. But there always came a day where those thoughts either didn't occur at all, or I'd find some insanely trivial reason to pick up, or I'd say F-it, or something.

It's the mental obsession, the insanity of the first drink, the baffling nature of alcoholism. For me, this went way beyond logic and common sense. Something else was involved. And something else was required to recover. I had to have spiritual help, and my strong atheist beliefs didn't prevent me from accepting that help.

Originally Posted by AA Big Book 1st Ed.
The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink. Our so called will power becomes practically nonexistent. We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago. We are without defense against the first drink.
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Old 02-16-2010, 03:36 PM
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Originally Posted by Pboy View Post

Why is my memory so poor? I'm past the point on a intellectual level of knowing it's not likely I'll visit for a reasonable amount of time.
A lot of people say selfishness and self-centeredness are the root cause of this disease but I don't buy that theory.

The Hindu's, Taoists and Buddhists figured it out thousands of years ago:

ALL THINKING IS DELUSIONAL

We alcoholics and addicts can't afford to hold on to our delusions. We must take inventory of our motives and weed out as much delusion as we can.

If there is "one tool" that I use to circumvent this predicament it is humility (a clear recognition of what and who we really are).
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Old 02-16-2010, 05:07 PM
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Originally Posted by Anna View Post
I think that you need to make some basic changes.

Go home from work a different way so you don't go near the Happy Hour place. Head for the gym after work, or go home and cook yourself a good meal.
In New Orleans it's almost impossible to find a route without a watering hole.

But you did hit the nail on the head as far as the other activities go. In the last year or so I've experienced chronic insomnia. When I get home I can sit at my computer and fall asleep sitting upright from exhaustion while reading emails.

I do believe if I could dedicate an hour a day working out most of my problems would be significantly reduced. It's just hard to get motivated to do the productive things I realize I should do when I have the chronic insomnia/binge drinking/anxiety/depression thing going on.
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Old 02-16-2010, 10:08 PM
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Pboy, if you want it to end, I want that for you too.

You can recognize the little man with horns offering you the rationale. He will never listen in return, just leave you with the argument he gave you.
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Old 02-16-2010, 11:25 PM
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Did that for years it is pure insanity, keep doing the same thing and expecting different results...this does not refer to the actual drinking but the pattern leading up to the first drink again...
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Old 02-19-2010, 04:57 PM
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One of my tools is the memory of my last detox. It was horrible. I never want to put myself thru that again, and at my age, don't know if I have any more 'recovery' left in me and I don't want to find out.
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Old 02-19-2010, 07:37 PM
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I found that lists of all the negative consequences of drinking never helped at all.

I wrote lots of lists: "why I shouldn't take that first drink". But I never looked at the lists before I took that first drink, again. (and again, and again....)
In fact, nothing went through my brain right before that drink because by the time I lifted the glass, I'd already been planning to drink for days, on several self-deluding levels.

I know that medical advice is not allowed here, but I think it will be okay to say that from my own personal experience, binge drinking caused my insomnia. If an alcoholic binges, lets say anywhere from 4 to 14 days the brain adjusts to the high volume of alcohol, (a general depressent of the nervous system), by increasing the level of brain chemicals that are stimulants, such as endorphins.
When the drinker stops drinking abruptly, the general depressant is removed abruptly, but the brain can't stop producing stimulants abruptly, it can take up to several days, or, more correctly, nights, for the brain to stop producing natural stimulants.

That is why insomnia is the curse of the binge drinker as well as the newly sober person.

Maybe as long as you remain a binger you will keep returning to the hope that you can control your drinking when you are between binges, that's what I did. It's a terrible roller coaster ride of hope crushed by despair, over and over again. I'm glad I finally accepted that complete sobriety was the only solution for me.
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Old 02-20-2010, 07:58 AM
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I know for me it usually starts with some type of resentment. I can get angry over pretty much anything but it usually goes like: Damn, why didn't she at least return my affection? Then I tend to go downstairs, get on the computer and obsess about it. After a while I might even make a phone call and or pay a visit to People Places or Things. From there you can figure out the rest. Or how about: I haven't been sleeping as soundly as I can, why not ?
I am trying to learn how to cope when my disease talks to me. Yesterday on the way home my disease was talking to me and I responded by telling it "I DON'T HAVE TO DO THAT ANYMORE"
It got me home, safe and I did not Pick Up. We as Alcholics/Addicts have to be prepared for these times. I always used to KNOW what I was doing was not the right thing, but in the end, I'd just say Fu*k It! May my higher power, whatever I may conceive him/Her to be, grant me the strength to overcome these obstacles. I will try and recognize when my disease talks to me and not play into the selfdestructive insanity that I sentenced myself to for oh so many years.
Avoiding people places and things will help in this endevor
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Old 02-20-2010, 12:32 PM
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Originally Posted by Anna View Post
I think that you need to make some basic changes.

Go home from work a different way so you don't go near the Happy Hour place. Head for the gym after work, or go home and cook yourself a good meal.
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Old 02-20-2010, 02:06 PM
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Bottom line is that until you get that moment of clarity that it doesnt work to drink successfully anymore ,hen you can surrender,It had to happen for me that I cant drink successfully anymore and it doesnt matter why.So been sober 25 yrs now ,and still ,the disease is in the corner doing pushups saying anytime dude,Im ready to do it again,,,
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Old 02-20-2010, 03:44 PM
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The first few weeks I quit drinking, my friend and sponsor taught me a popular acronym that is often used in recovery: H.A.L.T. - a simple check when one might feel the temptation to drink to make determine whether we actually might be Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired. I actually did not really find it necessary but did file it away for future reference.

This Friday afternoon, after attending a useless business meeting, I decided to forgo the cab back and take a leisurely walk. I found myself checking out the neighborhood on the way back including the restaurants and various signs including some for Happy Hour. Then suddenly out of the blue, I had a small but crazy idea on how nice it'd be to pop in for an (alcoholic) drink and a bite to eat. Almost instantaneously, I was also reacting "WTF?!". I continued walking and I remembered the acronym .... and it helped. I realized I was probably a bit frustrated (angry) with the previous meeting as well as hungry and tired.

For me, I don't have regular temptations to drink and most social events that include drinking don't bother me. However, it's that 1% "out of the blue" crazy thought is the one that I always need to watch out for.
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Old 02-20-2010, 08:13 PM
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Is there a tool you use to remind yourself "No!"
yes. The program of Alcoholics Anonymous.
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Old 02-27-2010, 07:13 PM
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The tool I use is the white chip I was given when I joined the fellowship of AA some years age. It never leaves my pocket, and it reminds me of a place I never want to go back to. And the program of AA is the power behind that little piece of plastic.
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Old 03-02-2010, 07:51 AM
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it's so burned into my mind after relapsing so many times, and being to AA, that it gets in my mind then my natural behavior is to say NO. Just have to WORK at it.
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Old 03-21-2010, 06:16 AM
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Thanks for the post Pboy. I too am or rather was a binge drinker. Could go several months without a drink or just having a couple social drinks, but inevitably the time would come were I would drink more than I intended. Usually feeling depressed and embarassed aftward. Then after a bit of time would pass the event would be forgotten and the pattern repeated.

Looking back I don't know why I didn't have a wake-up call sooner after one of those events. I have just started in AA, so am hopeful that will be the tool for me to say NO.

Anyway, I appreciate the post as it elicited responses helpful to myself as well.
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Old 03-21-2010, 04:14 PM
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Old 03-21-2010, 07:57 PM
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Hey,

It sounds to me like you might be talking about two different things. For the drinking issue, its easy to dilute yourself into think it will be fine when you don't drink everyday. Its harder to dilute yourself when you drank for years straight. That being said you need to find some kind of passtime, something you enjoy like a sport or something. If you join some kind of class like i took karate for years it gets harder to miss and you start getting addicted to it. Its great for your physical and emotional needs.

It wouldn't hurt to get some excercise, go for a walk, maybe meet a friend somewere for a coffee or something. If you live downtown it might be hard to go for a walk and not run into a pub but aim for a specific spot you want to go to. I also started playing games at home and don't really feel like bothering with a pub and enjoy being home.

The second issue, sleeping and whatnot sounds more like a anxioty disorder and/or depression. You might want to go see a doctor about that. The doctor gave me paxol for my nerves and I found it helped a lot.

Goodluck, I found that having long term goals helped me the most. As an addict I was constantly looking at how to get more but now I am busy working on getting to were I want to be. The times it does come up I just think about my goals and I am fine again.

Ohh, the AA comment above was a good one too. I found I met a bunch of people there that I can hang out with that also don't drink. Discusion meetings are always good. I find people talk and I generally feel at the end that my problems just arn't that bad and feel better about my day. The other times I tell a store and make other people feel better I guess
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