Is there a tool you use to remind yourself "No!"
Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 385
In my early daze, I listened to what others in AA suggested: stuff like "playing the tape all the way through," reminding myself that a drink would invariably make things worse, etc. etc. Ideally, doing a fearless and thorough first step convinced me that it would be insane for me to pick up a drink.
Yet I did...over and over. I'm convinced that the real culprit is the insanity of alcoholism, not the allergy. Although I am a member of AA, and believe wholeheartedly in the 12 step process...I also know that there's really nothing new there....just a different combination of principles, applied in a different way. The BB of AA says pretty explicitly that my only defense against a drink is spiritual fitness. Period. That means, in a nutshell (to me)....practicing these principles in ALL my affairs (no exceptions).
While I started out using fear to stay sober, by doing the Steps I moved into the solution....which was to focus on love rather than fear (AA is the language of the heart). Identify, don't compare, etc. I finally was beaten down enough to really do the steps thoroughly, and everything began to revolve around that spirituality that I define as love. To this day, I do not think about not having a drink....not ever. I don't think about not drinking bleach, either. A universal law in which I believe is "what I resist, persists." The AA slogan says "Let go and let God," not HOLD ON and let God. Focus on spirituality has removed the inner conflict and without conflict I enjoy peace of mind. There is no issue, so long as I maintain my spiritual fitness. And btw....I do not practice any organized religion, nor do I believe in an interventionist God. The solution (and the divinity) is within....not out there somewhere.
So I take care to be disciplined in those activities that nurture my spirituality, like prayer, meditation and service....like working on tolerance and humility (usually by noticing when i fail). I have a particular spiritual practice, over and above AA to which I am very faithful, and which provides me with a structure upon which I can put those principles into action.
I needed to become willing to leave the problem behind and live in the solution....to do whatever it required, and that meant often doing stuff that felt stupid, uncomfortable and counterintuitive. But I made the ocmmitment to reach out and take direction/suggestions...to listen to those who had what I wanted. To be openminded and willing.
Willingness is still the biggie for me, and a woman who was many years sober provided me with a prayer to help me out. It's quite simple, but must be said at least 100 times a day. I sometimes say it a thousand times in a day...whenever I feel conflicted, out of sorts, moody, angry, etc. I repeat it like a mantra.
It works. It really does.
"GOD MAKE ME WILLING."
That's all folks.
blessings
zbear
Yet I did...over and over. I'm convinced that the real culprit is the insanity of alcoholism, not the allergy. Although I am a member of AA, and believe wholeheartedly in the 12 step process...I also know that there's really nothing new there....just a different combination of principles, applied in a different way. The BB of AA says pretty explicitly that my only defense against a drink is spiritual fitness. Period. That means, in a nutshell (to me)....practicing these principles in ALL my affairs (no exceptions).
While I started out using fear to stay sober, by doing the Steps I moved into the solution....which was to focus on love rather than fear (AA is the language of the heart). Identify, don't compare, etc. I finally was beaten down enough to really do the steps thoroughly, and everything began to revolve around that spirituality that I define as love. To this day, I do not think about not having a drink....not ever. I don't think about not drinking bleach, either. A universal law in which I believe is "what I resist, persists." The AA slogan says "Let go and let God," not HOLD ON and let God. Focus on spirituality has removed the inner conflict and without conflict I enjoy peace of mind. There is no issue, so long as I maintain my spiritual fitness. And btw....I do not practice any organized religion, nor do I believe in an interventionist God. The solution (and the divinity) is within....not out there somewhere.
So I take care to be disciplined in those activities that nurture my spirituality, like prayer, meditation and service....like working on tolerance and humility (usually by noticing when i fail). I have a particular spiritual practice, over and above AA to which I am very faithful, and which provides me with a structure upon which I can put those principles into action.
I needed to become willing to leave the problem behind and live in the solution....to do whatever it required, and that meant often doing stuff that felt stupid, uncomfortable and counterintuitive. But I made the ocmmitment to reach out and take direction/suggestions...to listen to those who had what I wanted. To be openminded and willing.
Willingness is still the biggie for me, and a woman who was many years sober provided me with a prayer to help me out. It's quite simple, but must be said at least 100 times a day. I sometimes say it a thousand times in a day...whenever I feel conflicted, out of sorts, moody, angry, etc. I repeat it like a mantra.
It works. It really does.
"GOD MAKE ME WILLING."
That's all folks.
blessings
zbear
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