Not sure
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Ontario
Posts: 10
Not sure
Hi everyone.....I'm very new here and have been reading alot in the forums. Not sure if this is the proper place to post this.
I've sort of got my mind on over load here..lol
When i first got sober i went through the whole detox thing and then onto treatment. First attempt was when I was 19...did it for my family. I went back out ...tried to control it....since then I went to 4 treatment centers, recovery home and been in and out of AA and NA. The 1st 3 treatments was when I was in my 20's....now i'm 40 and my last treatment was over 3 years ago...and i have remained clean and sober since.
I never heard about secular programs, smart or any of it till i came here the last few days. I was never told about them when I was in treatment or the detox. I haven't gone to a meeting for about a year now and found this site to suppliment as I get back to my meetings and program.
I always believed in the disease concept, the gene etc theory....and thought the 12 step was the only way towards recovery. From memory...if i remember correct I thought it was proven that it was a gene for the cause of the addiction. I remember in treatment that a doctor talked about it to us. I find it hard to know what to believe anymore...lol Also I was listioning to some speaker tapes of Joe and charlie where they get into about how our bodys process alcohol differently then normal drinkers......I can't remember the details.
With the 12 step type of program I can see my powerlessness over the drink in my life. I spent so long looking at whether am i or am i not.....I read about the 4 type of drinkers in the bigbook.....the abstainer, moderate, heavy drinker and the true alcoholic.....for the longest time i thought or rationalized that I was just a heavy drinker and not alcoholic.
Looking over the years now I see the progression of my drinking. Since I've been here on this site and getting my butt back to my meetings I've been reveiwing alot of things...going over the steps again. And I'm finding knowing the truth about whether it is a disease or gene thing ...or whatever is not important for me.
What i see is how i have a decision to not take the first drink....if i do drink ...i loose my choice of decision after that. To me thats the powerlessness.
Anyways I'm just rambling and wasn't sure where to post this. I just found from all the reading that i have been doing here in the forums has left my brain a little overloaded..lol
I've sort of got my mind on over load here..lol
When i first got sober i went through the whole detox thing and then onto treatment. First attempt was when I was 19...did it for my family. I went back out ...tried to control it....since then I went to 4 treatment centers, recovery home and been in and out of AA and NA. The 1st 3 treatments was when I was in my 20's....now i'm 40 and my last treatment was over 3 years ago...and i have remained clean and sober since.
I never heard about secular programs, smart or any of it till i came here the last few days. I was never told about them when I was in treatment or the detox. I haven't gone to a meeting for about a year now and found this site to suppliment as I get back to my meetings and program.
I always believed in the disease concept, the gene etc theory....and thought the 12 step was the only way towards recovery. From memory...if i remember correct I thought it was proven that it was a gene for the cause of the addiction. I remember in treatment that a doctor talked about it to us. I find it hard to know what to believe anymore...lol Also I was listioning to some speaker tapes of Joe and charlie where they get into about how our bodys process alcohol differently then normal drinkers......I can't remember the details.
With the 12 step type of program I can see my powerlessness over the drink in my life. I spent so long looking at whether am i or am i not.....I read about the 4 type of drinkers in the bigbook.....the abstainer, moderate, heavy drinker and the true alcoholic.....for the longest time i thought or rationalized that I was just a heavy drinker and not alcoholic.
Looking over the years now I see the progression of my drinking. Since I've been here on this site and getting my butt back to my meetings I've been reveiwing alot of things...going over the steps again. And I'm finding knowing the truth about whether it is a disease or gene thing ...or whatever is not important for me.
What i see is how i have a decision to not take the first drink....if i do drink ...i loose my choice of decision after that. To me thats the powerlessness.
Anyways I'm just rambling and wasn't sure where to post this. I just found from all the reading that i have been doing here in the forums has left my brain a little overloaded..lol
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