NEOMARXIST

Hey there, I emailed AA on Friday and they gave me a number to call. I called the Number today and spoke to a lady who is going to get a AA member from my local group to call me and have a chat about stuff.
I forced myself to call as I had a lot of dreams last night about drinking and me drinking and feeling dissapointed that I have, it was all in my dreams!! I woke up feeling anxious and a bit overwelmed that I am saying to myself I aint never gonna drink again, as I really had a love affair with not just getting drunk but was also a Real Ale conoisseur and so loved trying different beers etc. I loved everything about drinking from the taste, smell, look of the drink to packaging and Logo's etc. I guess my mind was working overtime tussling with the notion of giving up hence why the vivid dreams about drinking.
I have 6 days sober now and this is the point why I always start questioning my drinking and if I really have a problem, i guess if I re-read my initial posts when I was feeling Super-positive it is pretty obvious my drinking patterns are not 'Normal'
Thanks for listening. NEOMARXIST.

Believe808

That's great you did that. Isn't it great that the hand of AA is always there.

marty888

Glad you called AA hope you get to a meeting?

NEOMARXIST

Hi there again. Just had had someone ring me who attends a local meeting, however I have lost some of the enthusiasm for going to AA now in someways, I don't know I feel quite upset, almost like I could cry? They said they will meet me outside and tried to get me to go to another meeting and that they could get someone to pick me up but I felt pressured somewhat, though I'm sure the intentions were all good and I suppose they want to meet me outside of the meeting beforehand so that I definately attend and dont walk on by, which probably happens sometimes.
I am a little worried however that because of the fact that there will be many in the meetings who were at a very advanced stage of their alcoholism that this will somehow have the adverse effect on me and encourage me to start drinking again, almost giving life to that "niggling deathwish" alcohol gives me and that "look how much more drinking you can do" you ain't as bad as them thoughts. AAArrrrgggghhh, Maybe the realisation has hit me for the forst-time today that I DONT WANT TO BE AN ALCOHOLIC!!!!!!!!

marty888

Hi they want to meet you outside so you don't feel alone. We had a newcomer tonight and he had arranged to meet outside so one of the members could meet him and introduce him around, no pressure just making him comfortable. Just go listen to the stories, I think the last thing you will be wanting to do after the meeting is see if you can continue drinking and make your problem worse. It will only take an hour of your life but more importantly it could save your life

marty888

Hey Mate, Did you get to that meeting?

NEOMARXIST

Just a quick update!!
went to the AA meeting last night!! Was not like I was expecting, dunno what I was expecting really!!
I was made to feel 'incredible' welcome and everyone in their was really knid and warm!! I was by far the youngest in the meeting, as expected, but this didn't faze me or matter as I think everyone was really pleased to see a younger member in there to be honest! I listened to their stories and they did a reading from a chapter from 'The Big Book' which was er different.haha.
It was a little bit on the 'bible-bashing' side at times especially at the end when we all had to join hands and say a little 'prayer' type thing but on the whole it was pretty cool and I can really see how some really good 'sober' friends can be made and how you can look forward to meetings to get your social life back to some extent!!
I am going to the meeting on Monday and some of the dude's said they are really looking forward to seeing me again so I am actually quite looking forward to it!!
I am still kept going to some extent though by the thought that i will be able to have a big 'Binge' in the future but i am told this is normal and will dissapear in time.
Thanks for listening, cheers"!

Believe808

You sound awesome. Thanks for bringing a smile to my face this morning. I love going to my meetings. AA meetings are really a great place to get sober and stay sober. Next step is getting a sponsor!

yeahgr8

That's really cool, nice one!

Mark75

Funny how that happens.... I look forward to mine!

Thanx for sharing that... Keep coming back!!

Mark

joedris

You know, it's funny how everyone is hesitant about going to their first AA meeting and then after they go can't say enough about it? Is everyone paying attention here? There is nothing frightening about AA meetings (well, maybe one or two that I went to, but never returned to those). You will find understanding, support, and all that. So if you haven't, be like NEO and give it a try.

mspamy

i'm glad i found this post as just what i need. i am also ringing my local AA with the intention of attending their meeting on Wedneday. i discovered in my mail box today that i had emailed AA UK early hours of today, to check on the times, meeting place etc. i have no memory of doing this which is quite scary. So not a dream but hey how wierd is this? some part of me was still working.

ClaretandBlue

Hey NM! I know this is a bit old, but I hope you're still going. I understand your spiritual/religious concerns, and I have them myself. Putting that aside for the moment, I know if I keep coming back, I won't drink or use again. That's the priority for me right now. It's not a race, deal with those issues in your own time and as you see fit.

Best wishes, keep coming back.

C&B