Getting a Sponsor....?
Getting a Sponsor....?
Hello all - I am on Day 25 (NEVER thought I'd get here!!!!)
I've been going to about 2-3 meetings a week and the more I go the more I get out of them, I'm beginning to realise how in depth and truly amazing these meetings are for people. I think they should do an EA fellowship (Everyone Anonymous :ghug) as they could benefit EVERYONE even those without a booze problem.
Anyway, I want to get a sponsor but don't know where to start.....any tips from y'all words of wisdom???
M xx
I've been going to about 2-3 meetings a week and the more I go the more I get out of them, I'm beginning to realise how in depth and truly amazing these meetings are for people. I think they should do an EA fellowship (Everyone Anonymous :ghug) as they could benefit EVERYONE even those without a booze problem.
Anyway, I want to get a sponsor but don't know where to start.....any tips from y'all words of wisdom???
M xx
Congrats on 25 days!!! For me, I listened to what others shared in rooms, plus watched their behavior both inside/outside the rooms. I wanted a sponsor which wouldn't talk about my business (like gossip) with others members of the group. Sad, but sometimes you do hear that kind of stuff outside of meetings--we all are indeed sick people.....some are sicker than others. I had to find someone I was comfortable with--telling all my stuff to>someone I could trust. It was important to me that my sponsor had already worked through all 12 steps and also had a sponsor themselves.
Here is a link about sponsorship from Alcoholics Anonymous website....maybe this will help. (You may have to adjust it to fit your screen after you click on the pamphlet)....
Alcoholics Anonymous : Questions & Answers on Sponsorship
Here is a link about sponsorship from Alcoholics Anonymous website....maybe this will help. (You may have to adjust it to fit your screen after you click on the pamphlet)....
Alcoholics Anonymous : Questions & Answers on Sponsorship
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
In most of the AA meetings here ...on the free literature
rack is the official guideline about sponsorship...
"Questions and Answers on Sponsorship"
And...in Newcomers/Beginners meetings there are people
willing to sponsor ...a good place to look.
Congratulations on your progress...
rack is the official guideline about sponsorship...
"Questions and Answers on Sponsorship"
And...in Newcomers/Beginners meetings there are people
willing to sponsor ...a good place to look.
Congratulations on your progress...
In the meetings I go to there is no free literature rack and there are no newcomers meetings either....hopefully it is better where you are Mimi.
I would basically observe people with long term sobriety who practice the program and have some serenity...people who have what you want, and just ask them.
Or you can mention you want to get started on the steps in a share and hope someone offers.
I would basically observe people with long term sobriety who practice the program and have some serenity...people who have what you want, and just ask them.
Or you can mention you want to get started on the steps in a share and hope someone offers.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Hmm...ok....Thanks Stone...
Please see if this site has information Mimi.
Alcoholics Anonymous UK Newcomers
Please see if this site has information Mimi.
Alcoholics Anonymous UK Newcomers
I agree with with stone....the sooner the better. The sooner you start the steps..the sooner you can begin the recovery process. Granted for those who may need detox beforehand...may be the exception. I think one should have a somewhat "clear" head before trying to process the information which the steps provide.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
Also.....you can get a temporary sponsor to read through the guide on sponsorship and help you to figure out who you want for a sponsor....
And at any time that you feel you would be better served by a different sponsor you can change sponsors...though I wouldn't recommend sponsor hoping alot...tends to not work too well.
And at any time that you feel you would be better served by a different sponsor you can change sponsors...though I wouldn't recommend sponsor hoping alot...tends to not work too well.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Indpls. IN
Posts: 11
I'm callin today!!!!
I have been holding the numbers for temporary sponsors for a month now
because I have never met these peopel and have been scared. I can't hold off any longer. Today is the day.
because I have never met these peopel and have been scared. I can't hold off any longer. Today is the day.
Look for someone who "has what you want".
Compliment them on their quality of sobriety and ask them if they are available to be your sponsor.
If they answer "No", ask them who they would recommend?
Compliment them on their quality of sobriety and ask them if they are available to be your sponsor.
If they answer "No", ask them who they would recommend?
But before I could bring myself to ask her I went thorough a bit of a crises (kill my sister or drink) and I rang my local phoneline and got this elderly woman who wanted to know why I hadn't started on the steps yet. So she picked me up a few days later and took me to an assembly and she become my sponsor by default.
She's dead now but was my default sponsor for a few years and sometimes I wonder what would've happened to me if I hadn't met her. When I talk about the love and kindness shown to me in AA I think of her. She was a great example.
Supposebly she wasn't like this with everyone though! Others thought she was an old battle axe!
However, I think she did say some odd things to me during my fifth step which would probably be judged from a 'counselling perspective' as a tad unhealthy, but at the same time I understand her reasons.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: NE USA
Posts: 41
I scoped it out for awhile, a couple months to see who was at my meetings regularly. I found a home group and then looked for who I felt comfortable with that was upbeat and reached out to others, talked about the steps, had what I wanted.
I asked her last week and she said yes so I'm off and running on the steps.
Mine is also married to a guy in the program as am I so that is a big plus!
I asked her last week and she said yes so I'm off and running on the steps.
Mine is also married to a guy in the program as am I so that is a big plus!
I meant to add this yesterday but the woman I had wanted to orginally ask to be my sponsor with the nice house, great car etc... these days reminds me of a tarantula and I don't mean in a cute little spider kinda way either.
More in a 'let me suck your blood and posion you kinda way.'
There are very few people in AA that I would prefer not to be around but she is at the top of the list. I also have a pet name for her, that if I could spell I would include it.
It's that character from kids cartons who has snakes instead of hair...
More in a 'let me suck your blood and posion you kinda way.'
There are very few people in AA that I would prefer not to be around but she is at the top of the list. I also have a pet name for her, that if I could spell I would include it.
It's that character from kids cartons who has snakes instead of hair...
Once you have a sponsor, ask them about doing the steps. Some say jump on it now, some say wait a year, some say two...
The thing about the steps, and the program is it's a learning and changing process, all the time. Ideally, once you've done the steps, you'd then want to do them again. Whatever you do the second time around will be different than the first, because you've grown and changed.
Working the steps bring more growth and change, thus the reason to do them again.
Some step work is question and answer stuff, and in your first year you simply don't remember some things, or are still very much afraid to answer truthfully, if at all. This too changes over time.
Working the steps, and finding a sponsor are both things that when rushed, just don't feel right or do much good. And there is no finish line either, so try to take your time and look and listen around and it will happen.
Some meetings offer sponsor's either temp or regular as well. Good luck, and congrats on your time.
The thing about the steps, and the program is it's a learning and changing process, all the time. Ideally, once you've done the steps, you'd then want to do them again. Whatever you do the second time around will be different than the first, because you've grown and changed.
Working the steps bring more growth and change, thus the reason to do them again.
Some step work is question and answer stuff, and in your first year you simply don't remember some things, or are still very much afraid to answer truthfully, if at all. This too changes over time.
Working the steps, and finding a sponsor are both things that when rushed, just don't feel right or do much good. And there is no finish line either, so try to take your time and look and listen around and it will happen.
Some meetings offer sponsor's either temp or regular as well. Good luck, and congrats on your time.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: The Swish Alps, SF CA
Posts: 2,144
good thread
The way I've heard it explained, and it matches my experience is:
You don't wait till you feel better to do the steps
You do the steps then feel better
That's my experience, I work the steps to "feel better" and I asked early on, but...is it....isn't it....like....brain washing?
My sponsor says back without a pause, "who says yer brains don't need a good washing?"
It all works out though....I seems to get what I need when I need it if I just put one foot in front of the other and "do the next right thing"
I get all hung up on "do this now" or more likely "I need this now" but I need to remember it's "God's time" not my time, and stuff usually works out better then if I could have planned it anyway.
My experience is, just be ready, willing and able and your sponsor will appear and it will be the right one.
Good Luck.
The way I've heard it explained, and it matches my experience is:
You don't wait till you feel better to do the steps
You do the steps then feel better
That's my experience, I work the steps to "feel better" and I asked early on, but...is it....isn't it....like....brain washing?
My sponsor says back without a pause, "who says yer brains don't need a good washing?"
It all works out though....I seems to get what I need when I need it if I just put one foot in front of the other and "do the next right thing"
I get all hung up on "do this now" or more likely "I need this now" but I need to remember it's "God's time" not my time, and stuff usually works out better then if I could have planned it anyway.
My experience is, just be ready, willing and able and your sponsor will appear and it will be the right one.
Good Luck.
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