step 6
 

we became entirely ready to have god remove these defects of character.

what can i do to become entirely ready?

For me, being "entirely ready" consists of several different things. First off, obviously, is awareness of what my character defects are......and if I've done Steps 4 and 5 well, I should be good-to-go there. Secondly, there is the "willingness" thing: Do I sincerely want to give up the character defects? This might seem like a no-brainer, but the truth is that some of my character defects I've gotten a lot of mileage out of and some have been important coping skills that allowed me to get along or protected me in dysfunctional situations, so I need to pay attention to subtle ways in which I might not really want to let them go or even be afraid of not having them any more.....and when I come across things like that, then, for me, what I do is basically "pray for the willingness to be willing" and for me this takes the form of just, in prayer and meditation, putting the problem out there for HP until a shift in my thinking/awareness happens.

The 3rd thing, I think has to do with me doing my part however small and/or ineffective and/or unimportant and/or boring it may seem to me and trusting that HP will do His/Her/Its part according to His/Her/Its plan and in His/Her/Its time.

See the thing is for me, I really like to confuse what's HP's part and what's my part, because, after all, HP's part is so much more impressive and glamorous. So, I tend to try to take over doing HP's part -- the planning and the choosing and the miracle working, and I tend to just kinda hope that HP will go along with this BS and do my part -- the washing the dishes, and holding my tongue in a tempting situation, or the just noticing that I'm doing an old behavior that I supposedly don't want to do any more.

But the truth is that HP won't/can't do anything for me, if I'm not doing my part....so part of my readiness is in doing the little "next right things" and in praying and meditating and in just continuing my Step work and in "practicing these principles in all my affairs"...and , it seems to me like, when I do that part, then I all of a sudden I notice that character defects are being removed in HP's time and in HP's way much more effectively than when I am plotting and planning and trying to force things instead of just doing my part.

...and always, always I need to be patient (HA! and impatience is one of my biggest character defects!) and constantly remind myself that Steps 6 and 7 are not about HP giving me a list of things I need to do in order to remove my character defects -- they are about me trusting HP to and letting HP do it for me: HP will do for me what I cannot do for myself...but only if I let Him/Her/It.

freya

Step 6 is half way through the steps. Many people stop here because they feel that they already have "Good Recovery".

Later on, Bill Wilson noticed this and started using a phrase that he borrowed from Abe Lincoln:

"Sometimes the good is the enemy of the best".

i need to let go of bad behaviors if i want to become entirely ready for the defects to be removed. the willingness i need in step 6 is a willingness to act differently. i can not expect god to remove paralyzing fear if i lock myself in my room. i can not expect to have explosive anger removed if i fly out of control all the time. i have to accept responsibility for my behavior, no more blaming the disease or anything else. accept it and try to do better. i also need to realize the pain that the defects are causing me. pain is a great motivator. i get closer to being ready when i see the havoc that they cause. putting things off that need to be done, not making a decision out of fear, curling up in a ball and doing nothing because of self pity. lashing out out of anger and hate. there is a lot of changes i need thank god i dont have to do them all at once. it is a life long process, i just need to improve, a day at a time.:Val004:

It never ceases to amaze me how deafening the silence can be when someone brings up questions about Steps 6 or 7.......Kinda interesting in light of the fact that the 12 and 12 says that Step 6 is the step that "separates the men from the boys," don't ya think???

So, c'mom people.....surely we have a few more "men" (and "women") here at SR who have some valuable ES&H to share about this???????

pretty please with sugar on top?????? -- freya

Step 6 and Step 7 require an active and good working relationship with an HP. I am not surprised many persons find those two Steps difficult to undertake, and inturn to give of their voices to the choir. Their difficulty speaks volumes concerning the struggles of suffering from alcoholism / drug addiction, and moving forward to the freedom and health of sobriety. A spiritual life is lived differently then a physical life.
:ghug2

RR

Amen to that!!!!!!.......and doesn't it just make it all the more vital that those who have some/any experience working these steps try as best they can to share that?????? Not that it's at all likely that any one of us has THE TRUTH that works for everyone in every situation, but enough of us together have enough little pieces of the truth -- or even just ways to approach the question -- to begin to help those who might be intimidated or unsure or hesitating for whatever reason....right? At least, that's my experience with / understanding of how the whole sharing-of-ES&H-thing is supposed to work...

...and I'm just always hopeful -- for myself as well as for others -- that more people will step forward to share -- especially on thse 2 Steps.....so, I'll "bump" it again!

freya

one last bump
 

E.S.H. needed on step 6 , thank you in advance :ghug

Step 6, like step 8, is a preparation step for a very difficult task.

Kind of like the meditation or warm-up that a performer goes through before going on stage in front of a large audience (in this case the audience is God).

Hey, blizzard, I pretty much already said where I'm at right now with 6 and 7, but back in the day that I was struggling with them a lot a couple of things that I did that were helpful were 1) read the book Drop the Rock: Removing Character Defects, Steps 6 and 7, and 2) read and re-read both the AA and the Al Anon 12&12 and also a couples other AL Anon books that hav good info and sharing on the Steps (like Paths to Recovery) I went to A LOT of Step meetings. I thnk, for me, the most helpful thing was just "hearing" a lot of people's experience/stuggles with these steps and, although I'm sure that a lot of them were saying the same thing, you know how it always seems to be that we just need to hear it said a certain way by a certain person and then it's like this big epiphany and everything kinda comes together...but, hey, if that's what it takes, that's fine by me.

....and, also, I should probably say that one of the things that I heard that was really helpful to me was actually at an AA 3rd Step meeting where this guy was talking about his experience with the 3rd Step and some of what he said just made me realize that part of my problem at the time was that I had somehow kinda rolled Steps 3 and 6 and 7 together...

....I also did try to bring the topic up at other meetings and posted questions on-line, like you have, but, as I indicated earlier, I realy didn't have much luck with that...for some reason it just seems to be very difficult for and threatening to people, which is kinda disheartening, but, of course, there's nothing really to be done about that.....

Actually, you might also try looking for some speaker tapes/CDs on-line....and now that I say that, there is a speaker I really like a lot and I bet he would have some suggestions.....I'm going to e-mail him and ask and I'll let you know what I find out.....

Good luck and don't give up!!!!!

freya

blizzard: He recommends Don M. from Louisville, KY as "the very best" on Steps 6 & 7. I see that they have a lot of recordings by Don at dicobe.com -- they have a lot of recording period on that site -- so maybe you could go and browse around and see what you might like.

freya