Hit The Lottery!

Old 05-12-2008, 03:49 PM
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Angry Hit The Lottery!

Well...actually I didn't even buy a ticket...I'd rather just take a buck out of my pocket and throw it out my car window into the air down a busy street...watch the people dodge cars to get it. They're odds are better than mine on making a dream come true.
Anyhow...my huzband...who SHOULD have his azz in Gamblers Anonymous....ALWAYS plays. He gets like fifty tickets...and a pack of smokes for me so I don't TOTALY loose my mind.
He always asks me..."What will be the first thing you do when we win?"
Yeah...like the "we" part cute.
"Divorce you and get half."
Pass the salt please.

Life on LIFE'S TERMS.

Love...
*
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Old 05-12-2008, 04:18 PM
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Originally Posted by lilbit View Post
He always asks me..."What will be the first thing you do when we win?"
Yeah...like the "we" part cute.
"Divorce you and get half."
:rof
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Old 05-13-2008, 08:30 AM
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Don't GET ME WRONG....BUT...

I hate having to ask for grocery money as it is now...could you just imagine...
"Hey honey...about that Mercedes Benz I had my eye on...think you could just get rid of my old Suburban with 260,000 miles on her and spring fer the new Benz?" I'd politely ask.
"I'm BROKE! You KNOW THAT! YOU AND THOSE DAMN KIDZ COST ME A FORTUNE!!" He'd respond....no MATTER WHAT.

I'm lucky though...he'd NEVER cheat on me...Yup...Just drive me crazy for the rest of MY life. No matter what. Gotta love THAT kind of comittment. I could get kicked in the head by a horse...go crosseyed...loose all of my hair and suffer drain bamage...and he'd STILL want to have sex.
Ain't love just grand?
Ah-well...STAY SOBER! All day...just for today...ONE DAY AT A TIME!
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Old 05-17-2008, 06:37 PM
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"Divorce you and get half."
Pass the salt please.

Too Funny!!!!
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Old 05-17-2008, 06:53 PM
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Originally Posted by lilbit View Post
I could get kicked in the head by a horse...go crosseyed...loose all of my hair and suffer drain bamage...and he'd STILL want to have sex.
He just knows a good thing when he sees it is all.
*LOL*

Worked with a guy that asked me why I bought scratch tickets.

It's just a buck.

So he asked if he could have $1 since it was just an extra buck I was wasteing.

It is for entertainment I said.

He replied with... Ok give me a buck and I will dance a jig for you.
Some place around that point 18 years ago, I bought my last scratch ticket.

Yes a dollar out the window could be more entertaining *LOL*
and less headaches with the IRS as well. They like it when you win but don't like it when you don't put it on your tax form.
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Old 05-28-2008, 06:30 PM
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* I asked God to spare me pain.
God said "No", Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you closer to me.

I like that a lot, it's right where I'm at right now.
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Old 05-29-2008, 02:21 PM
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God said THIS too...

I asked GOD to spare me of stoopid huzbands and whining kidz...and more stoopid EX huzbands...and SHE said...
"Are you kidding me? If I hear THAT one more time today...."
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Old 05-29-2008, 04:40 PM
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bitz,
That is hilarious! If I hear that one more time today....I bet she hear it way too much...
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Old 07-19-2008, 04:28 AM
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lilbit, you never fail to crack me up! I have to learn to stop drinking my coffee when I read your post as I always wind up spitting it out thru my nose! Thanks for the early morning laugh!!
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Old 07-19-2008, 04:29 AM
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Crap, I just realized that was an old post...oh well made me laugh anyway!
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Old 07-19-2008, 08:38 AM
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humor never goes out of date bugsy!:ghug2
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Old 07-19-2008, 08:48 AM
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Bugs - I lost a fair share of my coffee through my nose on this thread too.

Thanks lilbit - it looks like you owe me a new keyboard.
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