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Has anyone here learned to control substance abuse without compleatly giving it up?



Has anyone here learned to control substance abuse without compleatly giving it up?

Old 03-09-2008, 05:49 PM
  # 41 (permalink)  
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I noticed that realization88 has not posted since 11-22-07. I want to add my reply to help others who may read the question: "Has anyone here learned to control substance abuse/use without completely giving it up?"

I hope you come to realize that many of use have been there and done that, including reading The Big Book, "Alcoholics Anonymous", Chapter 3, More About Alcoholism (or addiction).

"Here are some of the methods we have tried: Drinking beer only, limiting the number of drinks, never drinking alone, never drinking in the morning, drinking only at home, never having it in the house, never drinking during business hours, drinking only at parties, switching from scotch to brandy, drinking only natural wines, agreeing to resign if ever drunk on the job, taking a trip, not taking a trip, swearing off forever (with or without a solemn oath), taking more exercise, reading inspirational books, going to health farms and sanitariums, accepting voluntary commitment to asylums-we could increase increase the list ad infinitum."

Here's my story:
I am, what others call, a high-bottom drinker. I did not lose everything. I have a beautiful home, beautiful kids, a wonderful, supportive husband, and a great job. We pay our bills, blah, blah, blah.

This was my monthly drinking routine (or close to it): one drink and stop; next night: one drink and stop; next night: one drink and stop; next night: nothing to drink; next night: two drinks and stop; next night, and three nights in a row: nothing to drink; then- BOOM - I have a drinking binge moment and drink myself to a black-out. I wake up the next morning, nauseated, in pain (body aches and/or headaches) and tell myself over and over - "I can't be doing this to myself". And guess what? I would follow the same pattern. Not drinking a lot. Staying away from it. Switching my choice of alcohol (from hard liquor to beer to wine - guess what? it's all ALCOHOL). Drinking myself to a black-out and hung-over the next morning.

I have been diagnosed "Depressive" and have been on medication for over 12-years. My son was diagnosed ADHD when he was 7-years old. He stopped taking his medication before his 7th-grade. He is 21-years old. He is now dual diagnosed: bi-polar and drug addict. He has been in Recovery since November after a police arrest for attempted arson and 51/50.

I have been in Recovery since January 2008. With the help for my Recovery Program and attending AA meetings (7-10-a-week, every week), I find my support. I listen, I speak, I have learned that others matter, too.

When I hit my 45th day of sobriety I was fighting the "I can do myself" and wanting to take my "control" back. After a hard week, with over 10 meetings that week, plus 3 meetings in my Recovery Program - I fought. I surrendered. I did NOT believe I could control that drinking.

64-days today. I work Step One every morning. I do NOT take that first drink.
Thanks for listening and I'll keep coming back!
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Old 03-10-2008, 03:50 AM
  # 42 (permalink)  
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I thought I could, but the one time I went back it snowballed from there.
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Old 03-10-2008, 07:52 AM
  # 43 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Doug View Post
Look what I did; I quoted you. LOL!

Anyway, as an addict, and an alkie, I can say, at least for me, that's not the case, and you'll probably learn that in school.
.
In school, one would learn that out of ten people suffering from anxiety or depression, 2 to 5 of them will have an addiction (depending on the study). Out of ten people with schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, or antisocial personality, four to eight will also have an addiction. Roughly half of all people who seek help for an addiction also have a mental disorder, just as half of all people who seek help for a mental disorder also have an addiction. There's a definite connection, and I read that a disturbance in the amygdala is starting to look like the culprit.
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Old 03-11-2008, 07:54 AM
  # 44 (permalink)  
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if you have to control something it's out of control

no one here can tell you it can or cannot work. we can only share from our experience that it hasn't worked for us.

good luck
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Old 03-11-2008, 12:47 PM
  # 45 (permalink)  
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[/quote]

This is all self diagnosis that I have done through much research, and discussion with another person who had it and helped me realize I have it. It basically explained my whole life to me. I finally understood why I am the way I am. I came to this realization only a month or so ago, and my life has been getting better and better ever since I started working on changing it.

I intend to meet with a psychologist over winter break to discuss this with him. However I do not wish to be prescribed to any kind of medication as I don't want to take anything legal or illegal on a daily basis at all, since with determination and a little work I can fix this problem.

I freaked out this morning after an out of control drinking episode that happened last night that I didn't understand, which is why I joined this site and now I figured out that the drinking episode was a result of me being depressed about this girl. Relationship rejection has a huge effect on my mood dysregulation and it took me till now to realize that. But now I think I'm going to be just fine.[/QUOTE]


88, looks to me like your describing a recovery program here. I have self diagnosed my disease...I'm alcoholic....I work to find out why I'm the way I am...with the help of some other person (sponsor and other AA's) I take steps to correct my dysfunction (character defects) through the steps.

I don't think you're really breaking new ground here. But, if you are able fix your problems without talking to some other person or honestly working on yourself, you might be on to something.

The point is...I can't do it alone. I thought I could, tried everything I could think of, even went four years without drinking, still when I started again it got worse then ever. I understand progression of the disease. Never did until I lived it.

Good luck my friend and remember never give up!!!

God's Peace
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Old 03-19-2008, 07:49 AM
  # 46 (permalink)  
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I thought I could control my drinking but discovered that IT was controlling ME. Not a pleasant thing to admit, but it's the truth. The only way I can "control" my drinking is not to drink at all. Every time I tried to stop at one or two I found myself drinking the whole bottle and wanting more. So for me, control = abstinence.
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Old 03-19-2008, 12:19 PM
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Hello Realization88, I am an alcoholic. For many years I have tried "controlling" my drinking and also tried using "willpower", unfortunately, neither of these things worked for me, I just ended up worse than ever. It worries me that you are talking about "getting your control back" and that you have "amazing willpower", obviously, you do not want to give up alcohol altogether. There are a couple of agencies out there that will teach you "controlled drinking", it works for some, not for others. However, I have never met a "normal" drinker who even considered controlling their drinking or using their willpower to stop. Good luck.
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Old 03-19-2008, 12:52 PM
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I can't. I've tried and almost died and came very close to losing everything.

I listen to those who have gone before me. They couldn't do it either.
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Old 03-20-2008, 01:26 PM
  # 49 (permalink)  
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It's funny, we all have thought at one time in our lives that we were the one who could pull off this impossible feat.I know I have.Guess what?? Not happenin'!! As much as we all wish it so, it just ain't gonna work.
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Old 03-21-2008, 12:00 AM
  # 50 (permalink)  
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So Real-88, how is that incredible will power working for you?
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Old 03-23-2008, 03:31 PM
  # 51 (permalink)  
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Thought I could control it. I figured I could have a couple beers, since that wasn't my drug of choice. The scary part was I did control it a couple of times. Not this time. A few beers lead to a crack binge and its terrible coming off it.
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Old 03-25-2008, 04:39 PM
  # 52 (permalink)  
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I was where realization-88 was for a long time. Bargaining with myself about how I was a strong person, I could control this, I would only drink x number of drinks a week, blah, blah, blah. Of course, it all failed. If you even have to have that conversation with yourself, you're in over your head. I, like one of the earlier posts am a "high bottom" drinker. Solid marriage, great kids, nice house but things began to get worse about a year ago. I found myself having a couple of drinks in the middle of the day, waking up with a hangover almost every day, realizing my hands trembled sometimes, starting to hide how much I was drinking ... Today is day two for me after a false start last week. I feel great (but dang, I'm HUNGRY all the time) Whenever I start to have those "well, maybe I can stop for a while and go back to being a social drinker" I remember to just concentrate on today and then slap my forehead and remember I've NEVER been just a social drinker.
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Old 03-25-2008, 06:19 PM
  # 53 (permalink)  
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i didn't see anyone else mention it, but i was at my most dangerous during those times when i tried to control my drinking when my stopping mechanism had pretty much given out before i was aware that it was gone.

"i'll just have a six pack tonight". Then have to drive and get more after that of course.
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Old 03-26-2008, 08:57 AM
  # 54 (permalink)  
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I doubt it. I could never control use of any substance without leading to more of it or more of my DOC. Even medications I take for pain I give to someone else to "dole" out to me "as prescribed". So no, I don't think there is a such addicted person who can call themselves and addict and "control" use of any substance successfully. We addicts just should not gamble with it. I thought I could drink because I was only addicted to drugs, but I became less inhibited and would take more chances when I drank, and eventually ordered drugs! For about 6 months I was a raging drinker too! I would shake during the day after binging on 15 or more beers the night before! Horrible! I would come home at lunch and drink a 24-oz beer with my alcoholic bf (now my ex abf!!!). He would encourage my drinking and then he would buy drugs and give them to me! How sick!

So please for sanity sake and your sake, don't try controlled social use!!!

Luv

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Old 04-01-2008, 09:09 AM
  # 55 (permalink)  
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Controlling substance abuse

When you consider that the definition of addiction is: "I have no control over (substance), I have personal doubt about "sort of using". When you also learn about the receptors in our brains that can trigger out of control use, I'd say you're taking a big risk.

Check out this sight: newaddiction
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Old 04-01-2008, 12:52 PM
  # 56 (permalink)  
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U know this was/is one of my demons. I get to thinking... I've got it licked, I'm in control.... guess what, that's how you slip.

For me personally, I don't think I can ever drink again. The reality is that I don't drink like normal people. I drink a lot real quick, and then pass out. I don't "enjoy" drinking, I drink with a purpose... get drunk and shut down.

In short, no I don't think I could every use again without having the same issues... I'm an alcoholic and I can't drink EVER.

Levi
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Old 04-01-2008, 01:11 PM
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I don't know if that's possible, as it's en my exper. that even one day of use (or one time) can lead to the desire of wanting to use daily again and it has a hold of you beofre you even know it. I am currently trying to quit taking suboxone and adderall, and am having to go to work everyday and put a smile on my face as if nothing is wrong.....definitely the hardestt hing I've ever done. Any advice or thoughts?
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Old 04-04-2008, 09:32 AM
  # 58 (permalink)  
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Also consider the amount of energy you are proposing to put into this effort, using all your willpower if necessary. It sounds like quite a Herculean task!
Why bother, just quit, and divert your obvious conviction elsewhere.


Good luck in your pursuits!:atv
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Old 04-04-2008, 04:10 PM
  # 59 (permalink)  
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I'll put it simply like this, if you have to control it, you are probably out-of-control. Normal people who aren't addicted to these things don't have to control what ever it may be. If you have to try and control it, then you probably don't have any control. (I heard someone say this once so I didn't make it up haha).
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Old 04-04-2008, 04:14 PM
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Originally Posted by Doug View Post
But like I already said, good luck. You'll be the first to know if it doesn't work, but you'll be the last to admit it.
Damn Dough so well put, seriously.
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