Hesh

Don't you get days like that, when you hate just about everyone..?? That's how i've been feeling lately.. I find people exasparating & in a lot of cases, stupid. I'm really running out of patience quickly. I ordered a simple meal from K.F.C today & the girl behind the counter fcuks up my order.. It's petty stuff like that, that mount up & it makes we want to explode. A bit like Michael Douglas in the Movie 'Falling Down'. Sometimes i wanna smash the face of nearest person, even if they've done nothing to me.. Do any of you guys get like that..??

cali

well-when I was using, yes-I have to say that I felt like that often....

I still feel "twinges" of those feelings, however what I "do' about it is very different.

I feel itchy when I read your posts cause of your bug LOL

Hope you feel better today

cali

ps. I have also learned through recovery that when I feel that way, it is an opportunity for growth knocking at my door......and it is ALWAYS about me, not the other person.

Hesh

Can you elaborate please on what you mean about 'Growth'..?

Emimily

um, yeah, me too hesh. i hate... everyone.


ok, ok, not really. but a little bit, yeah. growing pains? maybe. or-i need to eat, sleep, and really mean it when i pray. 'cause i've been praying, but i haven't been really PRAYING, y'know? plus, i haven't been doing my meditation, letting things go... i've ignored my seed of anger and have been feeding it and now it's a full blown anger plant and i have to cut it down, and yeah.

i know how you feel though. i would give you a big hug and make the "i hate everyone too" face at ya, if you were here or i was there.

cali

well-I have a choice today because I am sober. I can put what I have learned in recovery to good use, or I can revert to my old behavior and act like an @#!$***#

The opportinity for growth is when I choose to look at "me" and what is really going on....because by the time I get to the poor girl at KFC---I will be so over the top upset about everything and anything except "her" getting my order wrong....

Basically, the saying goes
"if we point the finger at someone there are three pointing back at us"

**recovery is an inside job

Emimily

yup. hit the nail on the head, cali. you are a rockstar.

Astro

Love and tolerance, Hesh. That's all I need to remember when the rest of the world pi$$es me off.

GlassPrisoner

I used to, not anymore. I'm still judgemental though, and inpatient. But I'm learning tolerance slowly.

I still hate that bug.

Hesh

HAHAHAHA..!!

SaTiT

I was in the rage zone when i first got sober..
I had to ride my motor cycle into the mountains everyday for almost six month
or i was gonna hurt somebody...anybody.
I think that's why I was refused rehab..
Which **** me off even more..lol

I get those dayz once or twice a years now..
i just don't give a F@#^ and don't @$% with me.
all you all can go to freanken hell kind of attitude..
i play some evil sounding nioze on my guitar sometimes..but i feel
like breaking the damn thing too..

but i don't..I don't trip out and judge myself..it passes.
sometimes i have to just go sit under the damn tree cuz I don't
have my bike anymore... but just leave me the f alone anyways..
I'll be back soon..lol

Hesh

HAHAHA.. What a great post..

parentrecovers

maybe you need to forgive yourself?

sometimes when i'm mad, i get real honest, and relieze i am really mad at nobody but ME.

blessings, k

MissKittyLuvs

I used to let that stuff brew (haaha) in me and I would totally hate on people. Now, sober, it doesn't seem that important. I just try to go about my day peacefully and accept that people are who they are. They may be having a bad day too.

Yeah, and that bug, I thought it was on my laptop and tried to flick it off. Heh.

~Troy~

Hate is such a extreme word. Personally, when I feel like that, I like to strongly dislike everyone. Then I realize "strongly dislike" just sounds so silly, that I just decide that I'm just disagreeable with everyone.

Aysha

I use to be the queen of wanting to punch every stupid a$$ person square in the face.
And like you said the most petty things are what got to me the most.
Like total lack of common sense just made me want to poke someone in their forehead a few times and ask them what the F is wrong with you.
But thinking and behaving like that was on me and I personally dont like jail.
I have had to learn ALOT os patience and learn to tolerate alot as well.
But now...Most of the time instead of getting mad I laugh like hell and just bust on people.
Not that its any better but its better than getting mad I Guess.
So I guess I try to find the humor in it.
Because getting myself worked up over really nothing is only affecting me.

Hesh

Have you ever been to Jail before now..??

Aysha

I have been to jail quite a few times unfortunately.
But havent since 2002.
Not a fun place.

SaTiT

the first time I got arrested i was drunk out of freaken mind after
a bar fight..i got bailed out in a couple of hours.
i only got a ticket for PI

The second time I got arrested i was f-up, I stayed for
a couple of days

The thrid time I got arrested I stayed for a week..I actaully
got processed into general population instead of the wating room
or holding cell.

The fourth time I got arrested I stayed for a couple of weeks.

The last time I got arrested they threw my arss into the rubber room
butt ass naked for a couple weeks..lol aahh when i came to
it was freaken cold as hell .. I got written up a 511
mmm = being under the influence of a or any controled substance.
i was way the f@^* out there..lol

progression....
oki doki..i didn't get arrested everytime i got f-up
but i was f-up everytime I got arrested..

mmm...I havn't gotten arrested ever since i got sober.....imagine that ???
I don't miss the dame judge either..he was starting to call me by
my first name..lol

2ala2

when i'm angry or rageful i'm always angry at myself. If i give myself a moment to think about it, i can see it.