Hesh

Hi everyone.. I'm sitting here & i cringe when i think about my past behaviour & what i've said & done to many friends & close family members.. How do i rectify this damage..?? I want to apologise, but i know it'll fall on deaf ears.. Where is a good place to start & have any of you guys done things which you're not proud of..??
Thank you for taking time out to read my post..

Grasshopper

Hi,Hesh,you are no longer alone,in that your past behavious have caused family and friends hurt.Im with you.For myself in one or 2 relationships,i could not rectify the damage.All i can do,is apologise,and not repeat the behaviour that caused pain.Looking into my roots and causes.Pray that God will heal them,for i know that i cannot do this,for them.Who knows maybe down the road???But i dont hang, my hat on it.I keep,on keeping on,with recovery,and the new tools im learing with.
My,prayers for you and those who are hurting.

stone

Hi Hesh, the best way to start is to get yourself clean and sober and give it time, actions speak louder than words and all that.

Hesh

Hiya Grasshopper, i love that lyric "I don't hang my hat on it".. Some posts on this site really make me smile..!!

Anna

Sometimes apologies work and sometimes they don't and that's one of the lessons of sobriety. All you can do is apologize and stay sober. The rest is out of your hands.

cali

I know for me-at first I was told to just "not drink no matter what" and the rest will fall into place.
This person was right. As I stayed sober, and slowly began working the steps, it became clear to me that everything is just the way it is supposed to be-and I am where I am supposed to be.
Those amends will happen when the time is right-when you are at eact turning point in your recovery-and strong enough-with the proper support beams helping to hold you up--it will happen.
if we don't drink no matter what, all things are probable

GlassPrisoner

Step 4 will tell you where you need wotk, step 9 is where you make your amends. But, you've gotta start with step 1, and work them in order, with a sponsor.

It worked for me.

Fluttering

hesh

You are not the same person you were. That means yuo do not need tobeat yourself up..tear yurself apart or be anyting but gentle with you.

We have been given the opportunity to make a new beginning. the only requirement is to "love God, others, and do an inventory. An inventoryis only facts, facts of the past. We need not live there anymore. These facts are shared only to get rid off them and to learn from them, and to make room for the Sunlight of the Spirit.

be gentle with you! Spirit wants you to learn to love yourself.

Love, prayers, & hugs

Ann

If your apology is sincere and from the heart and if your actions back up your declaration of remorse...then your side of the street is clean no matter how they accept it.

It takes time to trust again and to believe that you mean what you say and will carry through. If you don't, the the apology is just words that mean nothing. If you do, then time will be the best indicator that you are sincere.

We can't control what others think of us, but we can be the best person we know how to be and feel that is enough.

Hugs

Hesh

Thanks for the replies everyone.. Ann you make a valid point about being sincere via my actions, but the trouble with that is, i am far from perfect & i know i'll slip again & the people who witness this first hand don't understand how hard this journey is.. I could've ripped my Dad's head off last week when he told me to snap out of this, have a cold shower & grow up.. He, like many others around me have zero understanding.
I don't think you can rely on family, never mind friends.. In the end we just die in our own arms..?!?

Ann

I know it's hard, Hesh, believe me. Life is hard sometimes, but that doesn't mean we are doomed to remain in the darkness. And I have no intention of dying in my own arms and you don't have to either.

We have choices, Hesh, and sometimes the hard choice is the one that will take us ahead, one baby step at a time.

Sitting where I am and feeling sorry for myself never got me anything but sadness. Sometimes I had to get up and do something good for myself, even if I didn't feel like it, because my very life depended on a change of attitude by me.

Hope you find the courage to change Hesh, nobody is hopeless and certainly not you. I'll be cheering you on from the bleachers because the game is all yours to play as you choose.

Hugs