Topic: Would You Like To Share About Ur Fears, Insecurities? What Are You Afraid Of?
 

Hi, my name is sharon and Im an Alcoholic.

By the Grace of my HP and people like
you here in SR I havent had a drink of
alcoholic since 8-11-90. For that Im
truely grateful.


We all have fears, insecurities.

I know i still do. My fear is about
getting lost. I have little sense
of direction and can get lost
in a heart beat.....So I dont
take ricks or venture out
very far from home.

This is enabling myself to grow.

Im still however a work in progrss.
I remain teachable for whatever
life has to offer or throw at me.

So....do you have fears? Insecurities
that paralize you?

What can you do get get passed
those fears?

Me, i could get one of those
navagator devices for my car
to help me and direct me right
where i need to be.....leaving
the fear behind.

What do u think?

Share your ESH with us and maybe
someone else may benifit from it
in order to grow in recovery.

Thanks for letting me share.

I fear not having a career where my talents (when I am sober) are fully utilized.

I fear of never getting married and having kids (I am now 30 years old).

I fear of life after my case for a 3rd DWI offense is judged.

I fear of being homeless and alone. I have already lost prospects of a job. I can't drive. I am exhausting my savings.

I'm afraid my A fiance will never sober up.

I'm afraid I won't like him or he won't like me if he DOES sober up.

I'm afraid that he'll sober up just long enough to convince me to marry him and have kids and that he'll relapse and drag innocent children through the pain the addiction causes.

I'm afraid he'll drink himself to death.

I'm afraid to hope for a "happy ending" because the odds seem so much against it.

Where did our fears come from? Where did they begin? Were we just a child when someone put the Fear of God in us? Or was it something that scared the heck out of us?

As a child....i came from a good family....6 people, 4 kids....my parents both worked....my mom had issues with drinking and prescription drugs....when mixed she was a dr. jeckle/mr.hyde....a time bomb exploding regularly.

I being the 1st olderst daughter, i somehow was elected to recieve physical, verbal, emotional abuse by her hand. She herself came from an abusive childhhod and thus was passed on to me...sad to say.

She was functionable in her everyday job, room mother...always perfect in the eyes of others. No one ever suspected who she really was....as God forbid if i EVER opened my mouth of what happened at home or to me.

I recieved black eyes, busted lips, whelps, torn flesh and had to keep quiet about it....so i learned to lie at a very early age to protect my moms identity.

She picked all of us from grade school and somewhere down the boulivard she got pissed at me and stopped the car and told me to get out.....

Can u imagine to a small child how that must have felt at that time.....I was crying, screaming for her to not let me get out...and inbetween all the screaming....i think she brought us all home in the car....and then probably got the whipping of my life after that.... : (

then if i had a cough in the middle of the night....and nothing helped, including cough sirup...she pulled me from my bed and put me outside in the dark locking the door behind me. Tearfully, scared....everyone else sound asleep at 12 or 1 in the morning....where was Sharon? Little sharon....

With only the silence of the night...bugs making noises...the moon up above.... God?

So manythings when i was alone sitting there with my thoughts....anger, hungry, loneliness, fear, everything...and wonders of why me....

im afraid of living/afraid of dying. im afraid of success/failure. im afraid im dying from a disease (alcohism, drug addiction STD, etc). im afraid ill never be financially sucessful. im afraid im not good enough. im afraid im not a good person. im afraid i can control my spending.

im afraid of relapsing. im just afraid...

hi shARRon. dave here wana talk?

sharron im on my friends wife petra's pc..

Hi Petra....sorry i missed ur messages....
hoping all is well with you today....


Fear and worry had me down. They were
increased by my drinking/using. I worried about
what I had done when I was drunk/using. I was
afraid of what the consequences might be.
I was afraid to face people because of the
fear of being found out. Fear kept me in
hot water all the time. I was a nervous
wreck from fear and worry. I was a tied-
up bundle of nerves. I had a fear of failure,
of the future, of growing old, of sickness,
of hangovers, of suicide. I had a wrong set
of ideas and ittitudes. When A.A. or N.A. told
me to surrender these fears and worried to a
Higher Power, I did so. I now try to think
faith instead of fear.

Have I put faith in place if fear?

I am an only child, not married, no children. I am afraid of being old and alone.

I would like to adopt a child as a single parent. I fear that no adoption agencies will let me.

I fear my parents are getting older, I'm an only child...how will I manage taking care of them.

I fear I will drink again.

On Recovery Road I am an only child too. I did get married to an alcoholic and I do not have kids I want them but am afraid to do so in this marriage and I am 43 now. I am not afraid of losing my parents because i experienced my father's death this year. I know that one now. I do fear losing love and I fear being alone. I fear trusting. I work on these fears everyday. I hate them. Thanks for your post.

I fear my daughter will never find recovery
I fear she will,
I fear she will die,
I fear she won't die, but will continue on the addictive lifestyle
I fear my grandson will become an addict because of what he was exposed to
I fear dying alone, she was my only child:abcd:

I fear scenarios disadvantaging me and they haven't happened and might not happen!

I've got to return to the here and now (while being intelligently wary and forward thinking)

FEAR AND FAITH

The achievement of freedom from fear is a
lifetime undertaking, one that can never be
wholly completed.


When under heavy attack, acute illness,
or in other conditions of serious insecurity,
we shall all react to this emotion - well
or badly, as the case may be. Only the
self-decieved will claim perfect
freedom from fear.

self-decieved means - holding
an erroneous opinion of oneself,
one's own effort, or the like or being mistaken,
forming an erroneous judgment, etc., in one's
own mind, as from careless or wishful thinking:

Example: If you thought my friendship was love,
you were self-deceived.

Erroneous means - -mistaken;
incorrect; wrong; inaccurate, untrue, false


We finally saw that faith in some kind of HP
was a part of our make-up. Sometimes we had to
search persistantly, but He was there. He was as
much a fact as we were. We found the Great Reality
deep down within us.

After cleaning up, we became aware of
many fears. Situation that never fazed
us in our using days suddenly loom up
at us. Many of us experience terror when
we ride with a careless driver. We might
panic at the prospect of some maniac
breaking into our house. Some of us go
to the extreme of fearing evil spirits gain-
ing control of our bodies.

After the long process of withdrawal,
regaining our sanity may produce an ex-
aggerated value on our lives. These fears
need to be turned over as the other areas
of our life are. When we trust the will
of our Father and believe in His wisdom
for us, these fears will recede into their
normal place in a reasonable life style.

Have I learned to handle fear?

Some people have described what they
call the Four Horsemen of drugs. They
are Terror, Bewilderment, Frustration
and Despair. The Four Horsemen have
a group Leader, Fear and there are 100,-
000 forms of fear with the horsemen to
command.

The only way to combat these is by
abstinence and turning it over.
It has been said that fear cannot exist
where there is faith. Have you lost all
your fears?

HP, when I fight too hard, the battle
itself perpetuates-(means...cause to be remembered)
the problem, so help me to let go easily.

If I feel afraid about anything today, I will:

Bumping up this topic if ud like to share.

I fear........ABSOLUTELY NOTHING

for you see the onlu thing there is to fear is well fear

fear is not real

it is a mindset

a mindset I REFUSE to have

I fear knowing everything.

And having impossible, major surgery.

I;m not afraid today........
 

I don't mean to be glib, but I'm having one of those great days where I am not afraid. I am in contact with my higher power, I am sober and feel content.

thanks for letting me post

Meg

Thanks you guys for sharing.

Would you believe it if i said
what you shared helped me.
And Im pretty sure it has helped
others. Esp. if they were afraid
to come here to post and u inspired
them.

Sometimes we dont have to be so profound
in our words...or so eligant....or so big with
our words. Simple is the best. And simple is
the easiest to understand.

A simple word. Thank you. Please. Help.
I love you. I care about you. I dont
understand. Show me the way.

If you say what u feel in ur heart and
its sencere then its right. Remember
we cant please everyone. We cant
make everyone be happy or be our
friend.

This program is a ME program. An Us
program. A We program.

If u r in a good mood today then that
AWESOME for you. If you are in a low
mood, then that is where u r today..
and thats ok because THIS TO SHALL PASS
...as u will often hear.

All of us or on different levels of our program.

Were not in a race to see who can beat who
in recovery....This has to be your program
working it to the best of ur ability.

We all have fears and insecurities in different
stages of our recovery and life. I definitely
have them today....however i use the knowledge
and tools of this program to my advantage to
pull myself out of those uncomfortable
situations.

you can too....

Don't be afraid to ask for help if u need
it....