Ekat

I am in so much trouble from these meds. I don't know how to get through another day. I got out of bed at 8:30pm today.

Ekat

How can I start a new thread. I just can't figure it out.

Sugah

This is an illustration of the NA forum, but if you go to the main forum list of Substance Abuse, the setup is the same:



Click that button.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

Tiredofdrugs

Go get the Twilight series. There are four books in all. Large books. Once you start them, you'll have a problem putting them down. I finished all four during my first two weeks of detoxing. I was so glad I had them to read. It really helped to take my mind off wanting the opiates.

I'm now on day 31 of my clean time. Quit saying you can't do it. This is at least my fifth time to go CT off these opiates. Sure! I could've folded and said; "I can't do this". But I stuck with it and rode it out. And yes! In one of my past detoxings, I took around 640 pills a month for four months when I came to the decision to STOP!

Nobody forced you to put the pill in your mouth. So nobody can force you to stop. It's got to be something you WANT for yourself. The first week is the detoxing of the drug out of your system. The second week is recovering your strength from the detoxing. Then it only gets better with each new day.

My first week of detoxing, I was so miserable while lying in bed, I actually looked at the headboard and saw it was really dusty. I reached up and put the number 3 in the dust. I told myself I was going to continue writing days in the dust until I couldn't fit anymore numbers in that one area. I wrote day 30 in it yesterday. I guess it was a dare to myself to see how many days I could go w/o the opiates to see how many numbers I'd get written in the dust. Now I know. When you roll over or wake up and see those numbers in the dust, it just did something for my drive to continue.

Do what ever it takes to get one day under your belt. The more you can count, the better you're going to feel.

nlynn97

I love that you have been writing the days. I need to find my thing. I got the Twilight books for Christmas and have been meaning to read them. They sound like a good distraction. I don't want anything to heavy right now.

I know this sounds like a lame excuse but I had a ruptures cyst yesterday and went to the hospital. They gave me morphine while I was there and sent me home with pain meds. I took them last night but not today. It hurts and I want to take them but today was the day I'm supposed to quit. Will the detox pain dull the cyst pain or am I going to be doubly in pain if I start today?

Also my friend from high school that I recently became close with again over the last few years said that she had a problem with pain pills too. So she said she would quit on the same day as me. Now I think she wants to back out. I really wanted someone to go through it with. She wants me to wait until Monday. But I’m ready to go I have everything in place and I just don't want to waste anymore time. This drug is ruining my life.

I don't know if it's life testing me but I feel like road blocks keep falling down in front of me.

soccer

Something to keep in mind is that you have to quit for yourself not for anyone else. Remember that you are not going through this process alone. We are all now or have gone through the samae things you are experiencing. I pray for your success.

soccer

Just hear something in the Tiger speach that I wanted to share.
"Your life is not defined by what you have achieve, but by what you overcome."
All of us here have or are going through a life defining moment. Have confidence in yourselves that you can, and you will.

Shellslove

Hi Ekat - I'm signing in and stopping by specifically to see how your doing - wanting you to know that people care and are here to support you =) Not trying to 'push' the suboxone issue - bu have you thought about it? You just sound alot like me when I was in active addiction and I know how scared you are - this works for me. In order to start on the sub, you need to be in 'mild to moderate withdrawal.' If you do a google search for 'COWS score' - this is how the doctor rates your level of w/d to see if you are ready to start the induction. I know it's scary, and yes, it's a few hours of pain. But you are with the doctor who is managing things and making sure you're safe. It's not fool proof, but about 30 mins to an hour after you take your first sub, the idea is that you will start feeling better. Not high, not perfect, but 'normal.' Subs are there to help you take the time you need to heal. Instead of obsessive thinking, searching for pills, worrying about your supply and being in pain, you are comfortable and ready to start the process of recovery. Suboxone is a tool - it buys you time - the time you need to work a program of recovery. It can help to break the addictive behaviors - and, at least for me - it got me to the point that I was strong enough to be able to deal with the inevitable step off from all meds into a life of complete sobriety (f0r me, I do count the time on subs as soberity as well - that is between you, your doc, and your HP.) It's not a cure all, it's not right for everyone - but maybe you should talk to a doc about whether it's right for you?

nlynn97

I'm on hour 40 of no pain meds. Soon I will count days. I tapered down the last two weeks so that might have helped. I have been trying to stay ahead of the pain by taking over the counter meds/vitamins and sleeping a lot. I do have two suboxone's but I haven't taken them yet. I'm going to wait until I'm in really bad pain. Right now its bad but I can handle it. I was told to take one on the second day of being sober(today), a half on the third day and a forth on the forth day. Is that right?

My friend decided to wait longer. I'm hoping she will do this soon for herself and her family. Maybe I can set a good example. She is very scared. I think she thinks it will be harder for her because takes more than I did and for more years than I did.

Ekat

Something is going to give soon. I have been in bed all week. My ex is threatening me, I am in very serious financial trouble, and I'm shaking a lot.
My dog won't eat, but just sits by me. She is obviously frightened.

nlynn97

I thought I was doing good but this sucks!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm shaking and I can feel it coming out of my pores.

nlynn97

I just talked to my friend she has gone 24hrs. She feels like "****" she says. Were compairing sick notes. She is sweating in weird spots (her elbows crease) but has the chills, bad stomach cramping, irritable bowl. She wants to know if any one throws up from with drawls? Is there time line out there of what you go through with WD? What to expect each day? and on average when do people start felling better?

Marshgirl

Nlynn and Ekat - I am thinking of both of you. I have read so much on this forum, I feel overwhelmed with info., but most people seem to say it takes 5-7 days to feel physically better, but the psychological symptoms last longer. There are so many suggestions on here I would not know which to follow, but do know everyone says drink plenty of water, vitamins and hot showers. I have done it a few times, but always caved. I am on subs now for 45 days and feel really good. I have CT in the past and the worst physical symptoms seemed to be over in 5 days.

Ekat - no matter what you think your daughter feels, you will always love her. She will always love you. When you are going through w/d your head is playing games with your emotions. Remember, you are not yourself. It does feel like a black cloud is there. Please try to get to a NA meeting where I know you will meet people who care. I remember my very first meeting, 2 people reached out to me and took me for coffee. They gave me an NA book and it was the first step in the right direction. I wasn't ready yet, but they were so helpful and supportive. They gave me the tools to start reaching for sobriety. Please just try it. I am thinking and praying for you. Your dog loves you. He needs you! Sending HUGE hug and love your way!!!!!!

Sugah

nlynn, it depends -- how long and how much you've been using, how many times you've been through detox in the past (it tends to get harder and last longer with each subsequent detox), but for most, the worst usually comes somewhere between the 3-5 days, then begins getting better. Yes, vomiting can and often is part of it. Between that and diarrhea, it's important to keep pushing fluids so you don't dehydrate. For an otherwise healthy person, that's the most dangerous part of detox.

If you're at about 48 hours now, it may get a little worse, but in a day or two, you'll turn a corner. Whatever you do, if you want to be free of this, don't give in and take "a little bit" -- that could restart the clock. I know. I've done it.

You've got my prayers, sister, and your friend, too. It's a crappy, miserable thing to go through, and it's the only way you can make it through to the other side.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

Ekat

I feel like a total coward. You are all so beautiful and brave. nlynn, I wish that I was there to help you through this. I hope that you can hold on. It is a great blessing to have someone to go through this with.

nlynn97

Thanks for the support I'm scared of it getting worse tomorrow.

Ekat, Thats sweet of you to say. I will be here for you when you go through it also.

Its so crazy how one lil pill has taken control of my life. I'm so mad that my docs gave me it in the first place. If I don't get sober I will lose my husband so I have to do this. For my loved ones and myself. But I still want it. This sucks!

Ekat

You can write, nlynn. That is good. Actually, it's remarkable. You are doing well. I have had one brush with withdrawal and, trust me, you are doing remarkably well. I am sending you a pm.

ams1234

I took my last OC yesterday and within 6 hours I was feeling as if I was knocking on deaths door! My boyfriend was prescribed OC for his back pain and I made the mistake one day to take one bc I had a headache. Within 30 minutes I felt life I could do anything! I started taking them more often when I needed to not have a care in the world. For the past yr I have been stealing them from my boyfriend and didnt care, I kept telling myself that I would stop tomorrow, well tomorrow never came until yesterday. I told myself it was finally time to stop. I knew it was going to be hard but never in a millon years did I think it would be like this.

I am sweating, having hot/cold chills, my stomach is killing me, feeling like I have the worst flu EVER, my whole body aches, I cant sleep and I am so depressed I want to die.

The only thing that is keeping my going is my daughter. Everytime I think about her sweet little face, it makes me feel like I can do this. I have so much guilt for my addiction that I wish I were dead. If it wasnt for my daughter I probably would be.

I have hidden this from everyone I know and I have no one to talk to. I know how ashamed everyone would be of me... I just want someone to talk to... I want to know it is going to be okay and that it wont last forever.

Words of advise and help would be nice... I feel so alone!

Ekat

I am here to listen. If you can get on here, you're functioning somewhat.

If it gets too scary, get to a hospital.

But if you want to vent, let it rip.

Ekat

BTW arms, 6 hours puts me into wd. 12 had me in the hospital. I can't even imagine 18 or 24 hours. I think that we are all different in terms of our tolerance.

Are you still here and where are you now? I'm worried. That's the bad thing about these forums. Write if you can, please.