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Would you say this is a sign of cocaine use?

Old 08-08-2022, 11:26 PM
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Would you say this is a sign of cocaine use?

I split with my ex in April. He was a sober alcoholic when I met him back in August 2020 and he never did touch another drop..he was quite passionate about it. But in all honesty he was a nightmare. Angry and snappy. Easily triggered and would become unreasonable. I tried to continue to push him onto a steady path.

he was in a 9 year relationship with a woman before me.she was a hard working woman and they lived in a village attached to the edge of our town. They had a nice home and no children together. They had dogs. He worked hard as a plant operator and brought home a nice wage each week. It sounds as though they both drank alot but had nothing much else in common socially. His drinking spiralled along with his depression. He liked his other women and eventually he went too far, too many times and his ex had enough. They split and he couldn't get over it. Due to his messy credit score he couldn't find anywhere to live but he did eventually get a house in the roughest area around where we live and he had a dodgy landlord. Drugs and crime is massive there. People are quite skint. He tried to end his life a month before he met me. He text his ex. Who saved him. They continued a friendship which ruined our relationship. He hid that he wasn't over that.

When we were together he was likely mirroring me more than I realised. He was faking the whole future and acting like he wanted us to buy the house and be happy bla bla bla. But the relationship was not really progressing. He always needed my money. But he also occasionally would loose a twenty I had just given him. I caught him lying sometimes and didn't say anything. Like one day I said I was cleaning and he asked for a tenner so he could buy some stuff to clean his place. The next day I went under his sink for something and realised he had not bought any cleaning products. There was a point we were both looking round his house for 2 teaspoons he had lost and it was bugging the life out of him.

His moods were unstable. He struck up friendships with a few lads that either sell weed or have addictions. I used to think why would he wanna mix with those men they are always stealing! He told me his TV got pinched when he walked the dog one day. They apparently stole both his remotes. But a month later the remote for the sound system reappeared. I ended up getting him a new tele which he never paid me back for.

We split in April when I caught him texting him ex but also other women and strange phone behaviour had begun. By that point I had been woken up more than once by his dodgy friends banging on the door late at night. Once it was over a tenner for weed and they almost had a scrap. The relationship wasn't progressing and he was eating my overdraft! I was sick of his verbal abuse and being thrown out and the silent treatments were getting too much aswel.

the last 4 months I have been building back up and I'm getting back to the old me. I'm at peace. But still pretty devastated about who he really was and what's happened since we split. He's told so many lies about me and my character.

Last week I was told by a lad who lives near him that there were forever dealers going around and he knew he was on smack and crack. I was quite shocked and argued he was only into weed. I never was told about that. Since then I've clicked on he had this scab up his nose that took weeks to heal and he said it was because the dog headbutted him. He was often sniffing and his nose would run quite alot! I just figured he had a delicate nose.

I just wondered what other things would indicate if he was doing this sort of thing? I want to know so I never get involved with that stuff again but also it's helping me let go of that final bit of him I believed in. I just want to understand. Thank you and sorry its long.
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Old 08-09-2022, 04:51 AM
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I think regardless of what drug(s) he may have been using, he was a bad investment of your time all the way around.

There is no one behavioral thing that would tell you if he's on coke. There are a lot of signs that point to drug use in general - but no one here could point to just one behavior.

I hope that in the future you'll get out at the first signs of someone taking advantage of you and/or being involved with other women. Life is difficult enough without that.

Trust your own intuition.
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Old 08-09-2022, 10:39 AM
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It sounds like you have made a good decision to get away from him. You have no way of knowing what he was on.
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Old 08-09-2022, 01:32 PM
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It's just not something that entered my mind. He was abusive and poor with money. He smoked weed. I'm just trying so hard to think did I miss something. People always were shocked he wanted tobacco every other day. He was certainly not that much of a heavy smoker. I guess I'm thinking was he using my money to get other drugs! I feel really stupid knowing he was able to do that behind my back.
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Old 08-10-2022, 12:33 AM
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Originally Posted by Strawbz11 View Post
It's just not something that entered my mind. He was abusive and poor with money. He smoked weed. I'm just trying so hard to think did I miss something. People always were shocked he wanted tobacco every other day. He was certainly not that much of a heavy smoker. I guess I'm thinking was he using my money to get other drugs! I feel really stupid knowing he was able to do that behind my back.
Well he wasn't buying the cleaning products, that's for sure.

What other clues could there be? The missing teaspoons. Sometimes people cook drugs on teaspoons. Who brought up the missing teaspoons, you or him? If it was him then it's possible he/his friends were using them and he forgot.

Razor blades anywhere? Used to scrape the drugs in to sections.

Pens with no ink cartridge in them, straws (for snorting).

Burnt foil used to heat up the drug then smoke it.

The biggest tell is the person. What are they like. He doesn't sound like a nice person at all. Moody, abusive, his friends have addictions and he is in contact on a really regular basis with his ex and other women. This is not someone you want to know.

Don't feel stupid. Liars lie.
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Old 08-12-2022, 08:32 AM
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He didn't have alot as he had left everything with his ex. I was pretty shocked when about 6 months into the relationship he told me he had stolen the few bits he did have. His kettle, bath towel, teaspoons and cutlery were all pinched. He was working when I met him and earning good money. This alone shocked me. I would fully have expected his ex would have let him have some towels and stuff from their old place.
I remember he had 5 spoons. He ended up with 3. I was searching his house allover with him. I suggested he had thrown them in the bin in the end. It made no sense as his house was always tidy!
I never saw much other than ripped paperwork where he'd used bits of paper for his joint.

Mood swings were very common. He could be very caring and then he'd get cold and selfish. Issued me silent treatments and verbal abuse. The day I found texts to his ex he was moping about in his bed moody amd snappy and I think the night before a lad had been round that's a dealer.

I believe I was so very nieve. I remember a few times he'd loose 20 pound notes or tell me he had fallen and smashed his milk or coffee outside the shop and I'd send another tenner.
I knew he was alot of things. But I believed him when he said he wasn't into the heavier drugs. He would comment of others on them.

He's going through a stage at the moment of chasing after women. He's gone after absolutely loads since we broke up. The latest ones are a girl 21 years younger. His brothers ex wife. A hair dresser of his street and a woman who worked with his ex. The games never stop with him!

I think there was definitely more addiction than I realised. But I never saw anything other than fags stuffed in the overflow drain on his bathroom sink. I also saw black burn like coal allover his kitchen table once and I ended up cleaning it off a week later. No idea what that was! Blamed it on his friend.
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