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Old 02-01-2020, 01:23 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Opiate related depression


Hey everyone,

I have been on and off this forum for some time. I wasnít ready. I am now. Iím tired of the rat race.. the stuff I do to try and chase the high..

I am a caregiver for my mother and moved back home to be there to help with her rheumatoid arthritis and congestive heart failure. She is doing well. Sometimes she wakes up before I have had my dose of opiates and I fake that I was asleep. Iíll say: ďOh let me get an hour of sleepĒ - when I mean ďlet me try and get high so Iím in a better frame of mind.Ē

I have found my depression is pretty bad.. and Iíve been using my legitimately prescribed medicine more to try and be happy while going day to day.. I have a herniated disc.. and have had surgery, but my back is much like my relativesí. We just have bad backs..genetically.

So the prescription lasts a week.. then I use kratom to be happy until I can get my refill. Iím done. Iím going to have my Mom hold my medicine next month and give me the proper dosage. Clearly I cannot trust myself. Iím an addict.

I know all to well the withdrawal symptoms. I donít care. Once Iím through them I wonít have to do them again. Iím only worried about the depression. I am going to focus on weight loss and find happiness through exercise. Itís a win-win. I lose weight and my back wonít hurt as much while I find happiness naturally.

Why am I posting? Does exercise help with depression? Yes Iíve checked with my doc and she wants me exercising ASAP.

In a nutshell, I need to get my life in order.. a better job - but need to lose weight. Need to stop abusing my medicine and find happiness through a better diet and exercise.. I just havenít been ready to mentally/nor have I been mature enough. Iím done wallowing in self-pity. Iím just done chasing the high that I donít necessarily get anymore.. all I get is a level of guilt and shame that I cannot deal with.. the depression will hopefully subside with exercise.. mind you I havenít really exercised in a few years.. it has to be the answer - right?

Before you ask:
35 years old
abusing ~50mg norco daily

Hoping exercise and diet make me happy and I can utilize my meds for what they are intended to be used for.

What do I need to know? Will exercise and diet help? Looking to find happiness naturally as antidepressants have never really worked. Was always told to exercise but never did.

Thanks for your support and thoughts.
  • Josh
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Old 02-01-2020, 09:07 PM   #2 (permalink)
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I've dealt with mental health issues all my life. Diet and exercise definitely help, but you are most likely going to be depressed for a while. Stay away from the Kratom. It is worse than the narcotics. I went through living hell withdrawing from Kratom, but I was using large amounts daily. I was treated for major narcotic withdrawals when I withdrew from Krtatom. Chasing that ever elusive high, you know. Don't underestimate antidepressants because nothing says you have to be on them a long time.
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Old 02-02-2020, 06:08 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Hi Josh,
I don't have any words of wisdom, just wanted to say that 'I hear you'. I was addicted to opiates for many years and I have been a caregiver. It is hard and draining being a caregiver. Exercise will give you some space just for you. Sounds like you could do with that.
Warm wishes
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Old 02-03-2020, 10:46 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Yep. The depression and anxiety.. kicked in bad. Hard to motivate.
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Old 02-03-2020, 04:41 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Power through it best you can Josh - things will get better

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Old 02-03-2020, 05:04 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Josh, I will be ob an AD for life, I think- it does not numb me- but gives me a level playing field. Exercise and diet do help me with depression- but they are not all that helps. Of course (at least for me) these are the problems and memories in my brain. That needs counselling, meetings (to recharge sober batteries), journaling, art- different stuff. But exercise and diet is a great start.
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Old 02-05-2020, 10:09 AM   #7 (permalink)
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I have found an amino acid that helps the depression that accompanies withdrawal but I am reluctant to share what it is here because I feel unclear if that is a no no, even after reading the rules.
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Old 02-05-2020, 02:42 PM   #8 (permalink)
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You can share your experience Crystal - 'I used this' - rather than recommending someone else do something.

Obviously anyone thinking about taking a supplement they read about in SR really ought to see their doctor and run it by them, or at least do some due diligence on the web.

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Old 02-06-2020, 04:08 PM   #9 (permalink)
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The amino acid supplement I took when I stopped opioids was DLPA. I took 1000mg three times a day starting at the point of my taper and I am now three months since taper day and 34 days with no opioids. I have gradually reduced this dosage as I felt my dopamine levels balancing. I just listened to my body. If you listen you will know when to decrease. I am down to only 500mg a day now and will probably stay at that dosage for the remainder of the year since I have decided that I need a full year for my brain chemicals to return to normal. Feel free to message me if you have any questions.
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Old 02-10-2020, 08:59 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Itís amazing what I have neglected.. floaters in my eye and high sugar lead me to believe I need to see the eye doctor for the exact same thing my mother was going: injections and laser treatment. Itís genetic. I donít want to acknowledge the truth and simply want to ignore it. Thatís how I became an addict and Iím sure that is what led to diabetes.. just not giving a s#^%. I am having a bad day.. I really didnít want to post because you all have given me such positivity and all I have is just enormous mountains of pity and self-loathing. Thanks again everyone.. and my apologies.
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