I can't get stopped
With alcohol I was at the stage where it was obvious I had to stop.
I was never really a nasty drunk. I just got myself into such a mess it affected normal life. At the end I would have to drink all day... keep topping myself up just to stop myself feeling evil.
With pills and powders... they DO interfere with stuff but very minor compared to the mess I was in with the alcohol.
I DO want to live a substance free life... 95% of tge time. But maybe I don't want it enough?
Ive never had that pit of despair rock bottom feeling with drugs. Just feel ****. Feel better. Take more. I don't even enjoy it... much.
Thanks for the advice and replies. I'm going to have bit of a think about what is going on in my head before I post again. It seems pointless doing this if my heart's not in it.
But still - I want to stop.
"A pebble dropped in a lotus pond sends ripples churning out.
Just as actions willed from a bitter heart reflect and turn back round"