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Old 08-18-2019, 07:58 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Join Date: Jul 2019
Location: Northern England
Posts: 7

I can't get stopped

With alcohol I was at the stage where it was obvious I had to stop.

I was never really a nasty drunk. I just got myself into such a mess it affected normal life. At the end I would have to drink all day... keep topping myself up just to stop myself feeling evil.

With pills and powders... they DO interfere with stuff but very minor compared to the mess I was in with the alcohol.

I DO want to live a substance free life... 95% of tge time. But maybe I don't want it enough?

Ive never had that pit of despair rock bottom feeling with drugs. Just feel ****. Feel better. Take more. I don't even enjoy it... much.

Thanks for the advice and replies. I'm going to have bit of a think about what is going on in my head before I post again. It seems pointless doing this if my heart's not in it.

But still - I want to stop.

"A pebble dropped in a lotus pond sends ripples churning out.

Just as actions willed from a bitter heart reflect and turn back round"
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Old 08-18-2019, 11:40 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Location: W Washington
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well good on you for dropping the booze. remember that you DID get stopped. and you CAN get off the pills/drugs. you don't have to wait til the bottom drops out. keep a fire under your desire to quit. i hope your "think"' goes well!
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Old 08-18-2019, 06:10 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Hi Dreamwithin

The most insidious - and evil - thing addiction did for me was convince me that addiction wasn't that bad.

Don't be the Frog.

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...dont-frog.html (Don't be the Frog)
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Old 08-22-2019, 09:28 AM   #4 (permalink)

Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 192
I read your post and I was reminded of how the addictive voice rattles around our heads and tries to trick us into staying addicted.

Freshstart's post on the AVRT was useful to me recently;

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ined-long.html (AVRT Explained (long))

I read your last thread in this section too and to be honest it doesn't sound like you are having a ball.
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