My partner has a severe nitrous problem
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2024
Location: California
Posts: 2
My partner has a severe nitrous problem
My partner has had a severe nitrous problem going on 20 years next year. I know this isn’t that unusual but I do think the amount he’s using and the length he’s using is what makes him stand out.
He has been spending between $4000 and $5000 a month for the past 15 years on the stuff. he keeps telling me to relax, it’s just a couple hundred dollars a day… What’s the big deal. I am wealthy now, and so is he, but I did not come from money. So knowing that some of my family members are struggling with money while he’s spending that insane amount on, that garbage really bothers me.
When I confront him about it, he just points out that we have a nice house, nice things, etc. etc.
He’s very good at hiding it. He holds a very technical day job, seemingly with no trouble. He works from home, and at 3 PM starts his binging, and it runs until about 1 AM.
He’s unbelievably selfish. I guess all drug addicts are. When I think what that money could do for people that actually need it for things like new beds for kids in need or to pay for college tuition. It makes me want to vomit.
He doesn’t want to go to rehab because he says the religious element turns him off… But I’m atheist as well. I think the biggest difference between us is my upbringing. I have extreme pride in my family and my name. He seems to have absolute none.
We live in a small town, and he has no problem with staggering drunk down the sidewalk while walking the dog. It mortifies me.
I think he’s an alcoholic, too… But I don’t know. When he’s binging, he drinks a bottle of vodka a day, but when we go on vacation, he can go nine days without drinking anything. So that part is confusing.
I’m not even sure what I’m saying here. I think I’m just looking for hope. If you look at pictures of him from 20 years ago and pictures of him now, it’s clear that this problem will resolve itself soon enough 😩
He has been spending between $4000 and $5000 a month for the past 15 years on the stuff. he keeps telling me to relax, it’s just a couple hundred dollars a day… What’s the big deal. I am wealthy now, and so is he, but I did not come from money. So knowing that some of my family members are struggling with money while he’s spending that insane amount on, that garbage really bothers me.
When I confront him about it, he just points out that we have a nice house, nice things, etc. etc.
He’s very good at hiding it. He holds a very technical day job, seemingly with no trouble. He works from home, and at 3 PM starts his binging, and it runs until about 1 AM.
He’s unbelievably selfish. I guess all drug addicts are. When I think what that money could do for people that actually need it for things like new beds for kids in need or to pay for college tuition. It makes me want to vomit.
He doesn’t want to go to rehab because he says the religious element turns him off… But I’m atheist as well. I think the biggest difference between us is my upbringing. I have extreme pride in my family and my name. He seems to have absolute none.
We live in a small town, and he has no problem with staggering drunk down the sidewalk while walking the dog. It mortifies me.
I think he’s an alcoholic, too… But I don’t know. When he’s binging, he drinks a bottle of vodka a day, but when we go on vacation, he can go nine days without drinking anything. So that part is confusing.
I’m not even sure what I’m saying here. I think I’m just looking for hope. If you look at pictures of him from 20 years ago and pictures of him now, it’s clear that this problem will resolve itself soon enough 😩
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,419
Hi and welcome Weasely 
yeah that's a pretty hefty bill to run up regularly, no matter how well off you are.
It doesn't sound like your husband has many qualms about the way he's living, especially when you confronting him doesn't bring about any kind of real change.
Do you think there's a point where you might say enough's enough and leave?
D
yeah that's a pretty hefty bill to run up regularly, no matter how well off you are.
It doesn't sound like your husband has many qualms about the way he's living, especially when you confronting him doesn't bring about any kind of real change.
Do you think there's a point where you might say enough's enough and leave?
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2024
Location: California
Posts: 2
I think about leaving him, but there is that sunk cost fallacy… we’ve been together for 25 years
The first five years were amazing. He only drank about a bottle of wine a month, and that was about it. I’ve not ever really heard of people suddenly having drug problems in their late 20s.
Then on top of it both of our families think that everything is totally fine. My family doesn’t seem to believe in divorce at all and somehow I’ve wrapped that up with an idea of shame or failure.
My story is also fairly typical, and one regard, because of his behavior. I’m forced to be the super responsible partner who never drinks and is always sober. Which works out because I don’t really like drugs or alcohol at all, especially not now.
i’ve set one of my friends as my emergency contact on my phone because there’s something happens to me past 3 PM. There’s nothing my partner can do for me.
The first five years were amazing. He only drank about a bottle of wine a month, and that was about it. I’ve not ever really heard of people suddenly having drug problems in their late 20s.
Then on top of it both of our families think that everything is totally fine. My family doesn’t seem to believe in divorce at all and somehow I’ve wrapped that up with an idea of shame or failure.
My story is also fairly typical, and one regard, because of his behavior. I’m forced to be the super responsible partner who never drinks and is always sober. Which works out because I don’t really like drugs or alcohol at all, especially not now.
i’ve set one of my friends as my emergency contact on my phone because there’s something happens to me past 3 PM. There’s nothing my partner can do for me.
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