Help in a Dilemma
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Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 10
Help in a Dilemma
My heart and my head are fighting ! My husband of 24 years walked out 8 weeks ago after I caught him texting another woman - since then I have found out he was taking coke - xanax - adderal - roxies... and I think almost daily - fyi he was popping 5 xanax at a time and was seen buying 8 balls of coke - to let you understand the quantities.
We hardly have spoken since he left - because he has applied for a divorce - yesterday was the first civil conversation we have really had. Although it started with him angry is ended calmer - but as he was talking especially about money he broke down and started to cry because he has no money - he quickly stopped himself. He was never an emotional person to get him crying is a huge thing.
So now I feel sorry for him and want to send him money - he has not asked - and he is in complete denial about using drugs tells me that he wasnt etc.
It is his birthday today - I am so sad I just want him back ! Do you all think he could have cleaned himself up and has stopped using ? Am I safe to send him money ? Or do you think it will just go to buy drugs ?
We hardly have spoken since he left - because he has applied for a divorce - yesterday was the first civil conversation we have really had. Although it started with him angry is ended calmer - but as he was talking especially about money he broke down and started to cry because he has no money - he quickly stopped himself. He was never an emotional person to get him crying is a huge thing.
So now I feel sorry for him and want to send him money - he has not asked - and he is in complete denial about using drugs tells me that he wasnt etc.
It is his birthday today - I am so sad I just want him back ! Do you all think he could have cleaned himself up and has stopped using ? Am I safe to send him money ? Or do you think it will just go to buy drugs ?
Hi, ragtime.
I can understand your conflict and appreciate that you feel compassion for your spouse.
But.....he doesn’t have any money because he is using some expensive substances.
We talk a lot around here about how the addict has to experience the consequences of his/her actions.
I think this is a good time to begin to let go of your drug addled spouse for a while.
I hope he will get his act together soon. In the meantime, I would guard my finances very carefully, and I would not give him any money.
It will most certainly be used to buy drugs.
I can understand your conflict and appreciate that you feel compassion for your spouse.
But.....he doesn’t have any money because he is using some expensive substances.
We talk a lot around here about how the addict has to experience the consequences of his/her actions.
I think this is a good time to begin to let go of your drug addled spouse for a while.
I hope he will get his act together soon. In the meantime, I would guard my finances very carefully, and I would not give him any money.
It will most certainly be used to buy drugs.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 9
Im sorry your hearts broken. Lad you are seeking support. I would not be taken in by his tears. Addiction is not a problem money can solve..Im just afraid you are going to get hurt worse...you will know in your heart when he is serious about recovery. You will hear it in his voice. And he wont be crying cause hes broke.
Sorry he has treated you badly..
Snowgal
Sorry he has treated you badly..
Snowgal
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