In need of a vent!
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Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 75
In need of a vent!
I haven’t posted on here for a while. My ex cocaine/meth addict had an intervention by family and friends and went to an amazing $20,000 a month rehab for 2 months.
He decided upon release that he would go live at a sober living facility far from home. After having gone to jail and overdosed he felt he definitely needed the accountability.
He was a chef most of his adult life and decided to look for another cheffing job. He found one and honestly, his family and I were very concerned about this position taking up valuable time he needed to go to meetings and work on sobriety. Not to mention, he’s never been a chef sober, so there may be a trigger.
After finding this job, and living in sober living for only 2 months, this job tells him he has to train back in the city he is from. We all had our concerns, and now that he’s in town, he's not communicating much with me or his family.
During his stay in rehab he journaled to me everyday he was there. Some amends were made, some were just stories of his day, and most were about how much he missed and loved me - ultimately how sorry he was. How he has a disease but by his last letter he said he’s recovered. That he now has the tools to do this sober life. He worked on communicating with me nightly. To help walk me through the hurt and pain he put me through while we were together. He took a beating from me, we laughed, etc - trust was very slowly being built. Then he comes back home to train for this new job and he’s been acting distant, having panic attacks, too busy to respond and when he does he gives excuses.. just keeping me at a distance. He says he just can’t deal with the stress of us, all of my questions that he doesn’t have answers for. All I know is he isn’t the guy I knew who was at sober living. I can only assume he’s using again, so here I am disappearing again. I feel stupid for giving him the chance to come back into my life. I also have regrets for beating him up for the past, for being a b*tch at times, more than I should have. I don’t even think I necessarily need advice, I just needed to vent. I didn’t see this coming, as we’ve come so far. But, I’m slowly learning that addiction is a monkey he’ll never get off his back.
He decided upon release that he would go live at a sober living facility far from home. After having gone to jail and overdosed he felt he definitely needed the accountability.
He was a chef most of his adult life and decided to look for another cheffing job. He found one and honestly, his family and I were very concerned about this position taking up valuable time he needed to go to meetings and work on sobriety. Not to mention, he’s never been a chef sober, so there may be a trigger.
After finding this job, and living in sober living for only 2 months, this job tells him he has to train back in the city he is from. We all had our concerns, and now that he’s in town, he's not communicating much with me or his family.
During his stay in rehab he journaled to me everyday he was there. Some amends were made, some were just stories of his day, and most were about how much he missed and loved me - ultimately how sorry he was. How he has a disease but by his last letter he said he’s recovered. That he now has the tools to do this sober life. He worked on communicating with me nightly. To help walk me through the hurt and pain he put me through while we were together. He took a beating from me, we laughed, etc - trust was very slowly being built. Then he comes back home to train for this new job and he’s been acting distant, having panic attacks, too busy to respond and when he does he gives excuses.. just keeping me at a distance. He says he just can’t deal with the stress of us, all of my questions that he doesn’t have answers for. All I know is he isn’t the guy I knew who was at sober living. I can only assume he’s using again, so here I am disappearing again. I feel stupid for giving him the chance to come back into my life. I also have regrets for beating him up for the past, for being a b*tch at times, more than I should have. I don’t even think I necessarily need advice, I just needed to vent. I didn’t see this coming, as we’ve come so far. But, I’m slowly learning that addiction is a monkey he’ll never get off his back.
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