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I feel like I'm moments away from another relapse


I feel like I'm moments away from another relapse

Old 06-17-2017, 02:50 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
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Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 2
I feel like I'm moments away from another relapse

I am 19 and have been struggling with addiction for over four years. I recently just relapsed on benzos and opiates after being clean for a year. I just got a prescription for klonopin yesterday for my severe anxiety, which I have been taking on and off for about 3 years. I've been up all night craving them. My dad is well aware of my history and holds on to my controlled prescriptions so that I don't abuse them. However, my cravings have been getting out of control recently and I'm extremely desperate for a fix. After searching around the house for about an hour, I finally found my bottle of klonopin. It is literally taking everything not to take a handful of these pills right now. I actually really am having severe anxiety right now and I'm desperate not only to get relief from the anxiety, but to get high in the process. My dad has already given me countless second chances after screwing up repeatedly. This is my last chance before he ends up throwing me out of the house. I have no idea if he actually counts how many pills are in the bottle. But I seriously don't know if I can control myself. It's 5 in the morning right now, so I really don't want to wake anyone up. I'm freaking out! What should I do? Me not abusing these pills is becoming extremely difficult, especially now that I know where he hides them. Help!
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Old 06-17-2017, 03:00 AM
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Dee74's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 212,657
Hi ayzu

you should definitely not take the pills.

Is your Dad around? Telling on yourself would be a good way to stop this in its tracks.

There's also a lot of support here...a lot of folks to talk to and threads to read - we also have a chat room and an arcade.

I can guarantee you won't regret waking up tomorrow knowing you beat this craving - it's a great feeling.

You're stronger than your addiction - you can do this

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Old 06-17-2017, 03:18 AM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 514
I don't know much about pill addiction, ayzu, but I understand the cravings. I'm sure your parents would prefer you be honest with them about it - you can deal with it as a family.

Do NOT take the pills. Get in touch with someone who can help. You've already done well by reaching out here. Please be safe!
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Old 06-17-2017, 10:54 AM
  # 4 (permalink)  
teatreeoil007's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: America
Posts: 4,136
Taking a handful of Klonipin doesn't likely get you high. It just puts you out; konks you out and it's dangerous and there's risk of overdose. I hope you are safe. Good job reaching out here.

I'm sorry you are feeling so anxious. That's a real bummer. Is there anyway you can do some talk therapy with someone in face to face life? Some people are really helped by that. Also, physical activity and staying busy are good ways to deal with anxiety.
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