Jamwad

Hello again. Eveyone tells me you've got to hit your own rock bottom but when do you know when you've hit it? I've just been released from prison which I received 3 sort of Dear Johns from my girlfriend. These destroyed me as you can imagine "tough love" I suppose. I prepared myself for this, well sort of and loads of other different scenarios, I/we can sort this mess out though I've just got to be honest and get totally into my recovery. It's been a long 17 year addiction and I've had enough. I hate myself, I'm ashamed, depressed, paranoid and just basically feel hopeless. If that's not enough I can't go back home for obvious reasons so I'll be on the streets or sofa surfing yet again for Xmas. Is this my rock bottom? If not it bloody feels like it and I can't imagine anything else to add to the list to make me get there, I feel like crap!

Help!!!!!!

suki44883

I'm sorry for what you are dealing with, Jamwad. It really sounds tough.

I've never really looked at reaching "bottom" as an event, but more as a state of mind. When you reach it, you'll know. You'll know because you will be so sick and tired of living that way that you will be willing to do whatever is necessary to make things better. Sadly, for some people, their bottom is death, but that certainly doesn't have to be your bottom.

Are you willing to go to any lengths for recovery?

Haltman

Sounds close enough to a bottom. Really don't see a need to go any further,
but you'll know for sure when it hits you.

Sasha4

Mate - can you immerse yourself in AA and NA meetings from now on?
Perhaps attend one or two a day?

They hold lots of meetings over Christmas to give people extra support.

Christmas can be hard for whatever reason for some people and they need to be surrounded by people who understand.

I know in your other post you mentioned signing up for SMART workshops and you got a buzz from helping others.
Could this be a new venture for you as opposed to your old life? Something to build on for the future? To keep you on the straight and narrow? You seem to enjoy it.

You might meet some people who have been in your shoes and you can chat with them. There is that old saying 'stick with the winners'...

I know you feel bad at the moment but perhaps having a focus might stop you thinking too much and dwelling over what has happened. Thats why I mentioned the meetings. They could give you a focus.

Maybe it is your rock bottom.
But hey the only way is up from now if you want it.

I think something has clicked in jail with you and you need to grab this clean time and go get busy and do something that helps you and others. This is your time, your chance , your opportunity.

There is a thread on here by someone called Spen71 (I think that is his name). If you find it read it and see how his journey folds out. Its a remarkable thread. He turned into a bit of a hero for me! I see a bit of Spen in you!

Take lots of care xx

Wesley423

Sounds like ur ready. They told me bottom comes when ur sick and tired of being sick and tired. I look at it this way. If I put 1/2 the time into recovery that I did in getting high, I would be fine. So far this has been true for me. 98 days sober and counting. Stay strong my friend. Your pal in recovery... Wes...

Impurrfect

((Jamwad)) - My "bottom" was when I finally realized, and felt, that "I just can't do this any more". By "this" I meant using, getting locked up and all the other stuff that went with that lifestyle.

Sounds like you have reached that point?

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

AussieAlco

Very sorry for what you're going through, my friend. I hope all gets better.
Good luck, brother.

Rosiepetal

My rock bottom was being sick & tired of using, the end of my 20 yr relationship & loosing my home.
But you no what?
The only way from bottom is up.
You can do it.
Go for all the support you can get & never look back my friend.
Hugs :ghug3

PhilsFan33

Go to some NA meetings. You'll hear stories of people hitting rock bottom and trust me you will never wanna go to that place..

Tarot

Thankyou everyone for your posts. I get a lump in my throat reading them, I'm just relieved I'm not the only f##ked one out there. To be perfectly honest the prison sentence, the first one I've done with a girlfriend I adore on the out, capped it off for me i was 90% there anyway i needed that extra bit of mayhem it numbed me 24/7. God bless her though she waited and seeing and hearing how messed up she was well that was the last straw. I used AA, NA and The Smart properly this time no ******** and I got a right buzz out of helping other people. I'm continuining to use the services on the out I just hope this is it and I'm quietly confident it will be. Yeeehar!!

Jamwad

Must remember to log out lol

TSDD

There's ALWAYS worse waiting for you on the other side of a drink and a drug. You can get off the merry-go-round any time you like and STAY OFF.

You're not alone. Find your peers (people who are also not using) and get some help.