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Old 11-14-2016, 12:38 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Please give me advice


I've been sober from any substance since October 30th of this year. I am having awful cravings for multiple substances. They're just running through my head and I have so many I am wanting but mainly stimulants are really coming in and out. I have ruined so much and still am pretty young (20 years old), but was recently accepted into college. Though I'm excited, I'm also dreading it and am not very hopeful. I have severe anxiety and can barely function through face to face conversations. I can't maintain any sense of stability, i feel like I'm burned out and I show it pretty obviously. I am contemplating attending meetings ( I've never went before), but I'm anxious to go. I want to find somewhere safe where I can make friends/etc. I have contemplated church but I am VERY reluctant due to a religious background that actually in itself went to hell due to the beginning of my drug use. Please offer me advice on what to do. I really don't want to be in this place mentally or in this situation I feel like I'm in anymore.

P.S. if this is the wrong forum, I apologize this is my first post and will remove it if I'm in the wrong one
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Old 11-14-2016, 12:55 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Quietguy....I would go to as many meetings as you can go to. If your shy and quiet you don't have to share ever if your not comfortable. Pray that God can steer you in those meetings. Just know using won't help. Pray pray pray
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Old 11-14-2016, 01:17 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Hi Guy...
First off, welcome to SR, and yes, you are in the right spot to post!! There isn't really a wrong place to post. People will respond and offer advice no matter where you post, so no worries!! I am glad you are here. That's a great first step.
Have you considered therapy for your anxiety?? I have mad, wicked panic attacks and anxiety, and I have problems being face to face with people, too. I was in therapy for 5 yrs, for this. It helped a lot. They teach you ways to work through your anxiety. Like square breathing, counting techniques, and how to not play the "what if" games us anxious people play. There's other stuff, too, they teach you. But, I don't think I could have gotten through the worst of my anxiety without going to therapy and learning some coping skills. Anyway, just a suggestion...
NA/AA is a great idea, too. People there will understand what you are going through, and that always helps, being around people who can truly relate to what you are going through. I have never been to a meeting, but I hear you don't have to talk if you don't want to. So, maybe just go once and try it?? If you don't like it, or the people there, you don't have to go back. Just try another meeting maybe?? Trying these things couldn't hurt, right?? Or make it worse. Only continuing to use will make things worse.
You have your whole life ahead of you, and it sounds like you have serious plans, and I want to see you succeed. You sound smart and motivated, but scared and unsure of what's next. I have been there, my friend, and I do understand. I am THE quintessential wallflower!! My mom calls me Xena Worrier Princess all the time, so truly I understand.
I hope something in this post helps. Posting here helps, too. There are lots of people here with great advice to share, so just hang in, and keep trying. That's all any of us can do anyway, is try our best.
Please stick around!! And write lots.
I'm here, and I will check in later, see how you are doing.
Nice to meet you, Guy.
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Old 11-14-2016, 01:20 PM   #4 (permalink)
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P.S...
It is a little quiet down here in this forum sometimes, but I promise you people will respond. Just give it a little time!!
Oh, and there's a really great thread here about recovery plans. I am terrible with sending links, but I guarantee someone will be along soon to post those for you. I, personally, had to read through it a few times in order for it to penetrate my brain, but it really does have some great advice.
You can do this.
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Old 11-14-2016, 01:24 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Hey Quiet Guy so happy you are here. Just wait until you get all the advice from your post. You are very much in the right place!!
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Old 11-14-2016, 01:40 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Thank you all so much, and super angel I am currently seeing a therapist for my anxiety/depression as well as substance abuse. She's great I just am impatient in all honesty. I'm ready to get out of this mess. Thank you so much for your long reply that means a lot and did boost my mood to read your as well as everybody else's so far reviews
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Old 11-14-2016, 02:23 PM   #7 (permalink)
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I am glad it helped you a little, and I am glad to hear you are in therapy. I so get what you mean about things taking so long. I want everything to be ok and fixed right now. Like I said to someone here before...why can't it be like the movies and everything gets fixed in an hour and a half. God, wouldn't that be epic!!
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Old 11-14-2016, 02:45 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Hahaha I couldn't agree with you more. I understand that some things are step by step but I'd prefer an elevator
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Old 11-14-2016, 03:13 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Hell yes!! lol You are funny. Keep that sense of humor. It helps so much when you are trying to get clean!!
Sounds like you have the right idea to start. One foot in front of the other. One day at a time.
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Old 11-14-2016, 03:34 PM   #10 (permalink)
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That is great you are seeing a therapist. It helped me a lot. I struggled with anxiety a lot in the beginning. It still crops up from time to time, but nothing like the first few months. I guess I would say stop contemplating and give some things a try (meetings, church, etc.). Find a meeting in your area (AA/NA/CA) and just go. If you give yourself time to talk yourself out of it you will. You don't have to talk. If they are going around you can say you are just here to listen. I would recommend raising your hand when they ask if this is anyone's first meeting and give your name. Even that is not required, but easier to get to know some people that way. I find meditation very helpful. Look up some guided mindfulness meditations on youtube and give a few a try. Use any and all resources at your disposal. Take Care :-)
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Old 11-14-2016, 05:41 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Haha thank you sugarangel, means a lot . And thanks a ton Marcus. I'm going to attend meetings next week I'm currently on vacation right now and am just going to take the opportunity to try and rest a little and then start frequently attending them as soon as possible. I'll check out the meditation things on YouTube as well. The support means a lot! I love this forum and this is only my first post lol
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Old 11-14-2016, 07:25 PM   #12 (permalink)
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If your into podcast "the share podcast" is a great one for people in recoveries stories and redemption. It inspires me
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Old 11-14-2016, 07:43 PM   #13 (permalink)
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If your into podcast "the share podcast" is a great one for people in recoveries stories and redemption. It inspires me
I'll give it a try. I'm not the most religious but I watch testimonies of past people who struggle with addiction who became Christian and overcame Everything on YouTube and they make me tear up usually but in a good cathartic way if that makes sense.
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Old 11-14-2016, 07:46 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Lol it's not religious it's about drug addicts getting clean. I phrased it wrong...my bad. It's just people like us and different ways they got clean
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Old 11-15-2016, 05:42 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Hey Guy....
Just checking in on you, seeing how you are doing. It can be super hard in the beginning to get clean, and so I was just wondering how you were feeling. Letting you know you aren't alone....
I like stories about addicts getting clean, too, and how they did it. I find it inspirational, too. There's a forum here called 'Stories Of Recovery.' At least, I think that's the name. Anyway, there's some good stuff there you may enjoy reading. Just a suggestion.
Have a great day!!
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Old 11-15-2016, 05:51 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Hey SR... I don't know how to send links. Could someone out there maybe give Guy some links for recovery plans??
Thanks.
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Old 11-16-2016, 01:03 PM   #17 (permalink)
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I feel confident seeing a counselor for whatever ails you will be a big help. My husband finally went to counseling for his anxiety over the summer after years of me asking him to go. He is not shy or a wallflower; not even close, but he has had a lot of anxiety for a very long time. He's always been high-strung and on edge. He won't take meds for it because he is worried about addiction. Glad to say the counseling really helped and I've noticed a big difference. It doesn't get better overnight and you may find yourself only being able to address one or two aspects of the anxiety at a time. But the most lasting changes are going to be the ones that take effort and time and patience. We certainly change a life time things quickly. I am not anxious or shy per se, but in many social situations, I would rather sit and have interesting conversations with people that be the social butterfly. It takes all kinds, so try not to get down on yourself for being a 'wallflower'. There's nothing wrong with being a wallflower in my opinion, unless I suppose if it is giving you too much personal grief. Stick around, this is a good place.
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Old 11-19-2016, 09:18 AM   #18 (permalink)
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Hey quiet guy.
Aw d'y'know what, you write like you're a beautiful person. Lots of pleases and thank yous and I can see elements of visionary in you.... I have the faith that this is a phase and you are going to break through this into a new reality.... so I've got questions..

Anxiety...Um.. what does that look like? What happens and when and who you are you around (specifically) when this happens?

What happens in face to face conversations that you can't cope with.? I'm a visual person soo I need help picturing stuff. Take me there...

The substances ar just a symptom. No point looking at them til we'be looked at what's underneath them.

But for craves ..I was an h addict for six years and oh the craves. I found a way that worked for me.... have the crave. Own it. Love it. I'd let my mind dream through every stage of preparing the bits and I'd let myself smell it and I'd imagine the whole process in minute detail and it made me feel like I'd just had some. And I was happy cos I'd used the enemy crave against itself and made it work for me. My mind and body felt everything I wanted it to feel without using.
Also knowing the crave and the dream was the closest i would ever get to the goop ever again. So what, a little memory? Much safer than going out to score. The memory is away better than the real thing anyway
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Old 11-19-2016, 04:11 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Hey SR... I don't know how to send links. Could someone out there maybe give Guy some links for recovery plans??
Thanks.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html



How's it going quietguy?

D
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Old 11-20-2016, 02:37 PM   #20 (permalink)
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Thanks, Dee.

Hey Guy....How are you doing??
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