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Old 01-29-2016, 02:54 PM   #41 (permalink)
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So cute TOD
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Old 01-30-2016, 03:01 AM   #42 (permalink)
RIP Maria
 
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Here's Miss Sherry standing in my chair talking with Marvin in his carrier! If you turn my chair around facing the other direction and move it a couple of inches? That's how close I am to Marvin at night while sitting here at my computer! So when he crows? It's very loud!



Thanks soberwolf!

Early yesterday morning I scrambled two eggs Jennifer laid so she could eat them. Ppl can't eat them because of the medicine I'm giving her! There was another egg one of the girls had laid that wasn't fully formed with a good shell. So I scrambled that one for the two girls! I added some shredded cheese on top and the leftover bologna pieces Molly didn't eat! Later on this morning they'll be getting crumbled bread, diced tomatoes and the bologna pieces Molly leaves! Now!!!! Earlier this afternoon Jethro told me he had woke up when I was cooking the eggs! He said: "I was leaning on the wall by the bedroom watching you busily doing things in the kitchen! I was waiting to see if you were going to start cooking sausage to go with those eggs! If you had? I was going to get dressed and come say hello! But since I saw it was for the girls? I went back to bed!" I stood there looking at him and said: "You Duffus! If you'd wanted breakfast you should have come on in the kitchen!" LOL It was dark where he was standing so I never saw him! I keep very little light on in the house so it doesn't keep him awake! I have a small flashlight that shines a green light for when I need light. Jethro laughs at me walking around with my green light!

Did you know if you're in the dark and you go to light a cigarette? Close one eye before you strike the lighter or match. It saves your night vision!

I watched 60 minutes this past Sunday and man was it a good one! It had parents that had lost children due to heroin. And senior ppl telling their life story before they sang a song! Man! They could really sing! One older guy sounded just like Nat King Cole! Chills ran down my back when he started singing. I loved his story too! I had tears streaming while listening to these ppl! It really opens our minds and eyes to what ppl went thru. A man was abandoned at two weeks old in a hallway with no name given! Oh his story! He was never given a name, but ended up with many numbers from many places!

http://www.cbsnews.com/videos/heroin...n-david-bowie/



Remember back when I went to a meeting with others from our neighborhood to fight a dog kennel being put in across the street? Well! On 18 Dec the ppl that live right beside that property with the buildings on it signed the papers to buy it! They now have moved their business into the buildings. I'm thrilled they were able to get the place. However? Now I get to listen to all the work trucks with their trailers loaded pulling in and out early in the mornings while I'm trying to go to sleep! ARGH! And then Jethro comes flying past the window several times over on the 4wheeler! I know I'm loved, but come on! Sleep is a MUST in my life! Sigh! I've learned NOT to say anything to him when I first get up after he's woke me up while I'm trying to sleep! I wait until I've had my coffee and get more awake! Because I'll take his head off if I say anything when I first get up and that just makes for a very bad day for the both of us!

Well it's that time of the morning!

Everyone have a clean day!

TOD
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Old 02-01-2016, 01:48 AM   #43 (permalink)
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Now how's this for a head of feathers? All those feathers are loaded in waxy tips right now. She's getting her adult feathers in! She's also going to have a full blonde beard! She's so sweet too! When I pick her up I put my free hand under her feet. She'll tuck herself up under my chin and then sit down in my hand. She loves to cuddle!



I've added some Anti-Diarrheal medicine to Jennifer's other meds! She's had a watery pooping problem ever since we got her! I swear if it's not one thing it's another with her! ARGH!

Jethro's mom called today! Ugh! AGAIN! The conversation was all about problems! She doesn't call unless she's causing problems! I don't dare answer the phone if I see her name on the caller ID! Same goes for Jethro's daughter! My life is a whole lot less stressful if I keep them out of my life!

I called the pole barn company yesterday to find out when our barn is going to be built? I had the guy on speaker and about one minute into the conversation? Jethro was giving me the sign to forget it with his hands! After I got off the phone I nailed Jethro! He was full of disbeliefs and anger! I finally told him: "This barn is going to be built! But it's not going to be built until the ground is solid enough so the large trucks won't get stuck! If you want to end up on another long list for waiting? Then go get the prepaid check and find someone else to do the job!" It doesn't take much to get him bent out of shape! He has no patience!

He also get's in a hurry where everything else is concerned! He does the shopping for us because he doesn't like me going out late at night! He'll glance at the list instead of looking at it! For instance: canned chicken in the pull top cans! He bought chicken noodle soup! Because I pointed out he got the wrong thing? He gets super belligerent with me! I wait for him to take a breath and say: "You're the one that didn't read the list correctly! Why are you taking it out on ME?" An hour later he took the cans back to swap them out for the correct ones! This has happened more times than I can count!

He got mad tonight because I made myself a small dish of food to eat. I asked him what his problem was? He said "I wanted food on a plate!" Well then why didn't you say something earlier and why were you sitting with a large bag of M&M's on your lap? I took my dish of food to the porch and ate it. I come back inside and ask him if he'd like a fully loaded salad? No! I had a snack! Don't you worry about it! I said: "You eat all the time! How am I supposed to know when you're hungry?" I'm so ready for that pole barn to be built so I can lock him up in it! ARGH! He cooks for himself all the time! I reminded him he needed to cook something as a meal and stop snacking so much! It would be way better for him than sitting and eating snacks all the time! He said: "Don't you worry about it!" I said: "Well I do worry about it because I'm the one that pays for your hunger in an angry way!" He ignored me at this point! Later when he got ready for bed? He waited on me to take Maria so I could put her in his bed! This told me he wasn't mad anymore! If he'd still been mad? He'd have said: "We're going to bed and would have walked out with Maria!" Ik Ik I live a crazy life with my husband and the chickens! LOL

But you wanna know something? I'm really happy and content! I do more of the things I enjoy now instead of the things that others expect of ppl! So what if my house is dirty and there's dirt on the floor! Me and Jethro are the ones that live here! If a person has problems with how we live? Then stay the hell out of our home. We'll meet for supper if you want to get together? So many things used to bother me and now they don't! I used to pop tons of pain pills in order to clean the house! How crazy was that? Sure if we have company coming I'll do some cleaning, but I don't go overboard with it! As for the chickens recycling their food? Yes! I pick that up all the time! I told Jethro earlier we should package it and sell it! LOL There's a process to all that though! Too much work! Chickens are also dusty! I could never keep everything dusted around here!

Jethro and I are both excited about the pole barn! Jethro is ready to start building one himself he's so ready for one! Once it's built? I'll pretty much have the house to myself again! Then I can be up more during the day and not sleep during the day! Jethro will be busy in his pole barn and won't be in my way all the time.

Drugs drugs drugs and more drugs have kept me from so many things! I'm slowly changing into someone that's wanting more out of my life! I'm far from being depressed! I'm just stuck on a rail! I'm pulling that lever to change my direction on that rail!

Everyone have a clean day!

TOD
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Old 02-01-2016, 04:57 AM   #44 (permalink)
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That is way too cute Tod look likes a hat - bless awesome pic
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Old 02-02-2016, 02:40 AM   #45 (permalink)
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I'm ready to beat Jethro with a large 2 x 4! He told me this afternoon it would cost us $1,500.00 for the lumber to start building the barn! OMG! I bit my tongue to keep from yelling at him! After I managed to get myself under control I said: "Let the professionals do the job! If you want the job done right now? Then get prepared to pull large trucks and tractors out of the mud! I'm NOT paying to have them pulled out!" Well then he'll turn around and say: "Use the money to pay off the house and we'll forget the pole barn!" I said: "Oh No! I'll have this house paid off in a little over a year from now! And the damned barn is going to be built!" I'm to the point I'm ready to hunt this guy down and crack a whip over his head to get him started on the barn! Jethro is driving me nuts! My patience with him is running real thin! And I have a lot of patience! While in the ARNG I learned the "Hurry up and wait" thing!

The 1st of the month has come and gone! Means I need to pay bills - AGAIN! Ugh! I'm truly grateful I have the money to pay them though! I'm probably going to have a heart attack after I get the first electric bill from the barn being added to everything else around here! Can't wait for that experience!

Tomorrow our temps are going to be way down! We deal with that for several days and then they go back up! I had the A/C on for the past three days!

I need to have mom come over to get these eggs in the fridge taking up so much space. Two eggs a day add up quickly! She shares them which is okay with us! Just as long as they're out of my way! Plus it gives her a mission for the day! LOL Gotta keep her busy! She can take Jethro out for lunch while she's here! He bought steaks yesterday to cook. So I got them seasoned so he could grill them! I made mashed potatoes/gravy and green beans to go along with the steaks. I was stuffed after that delicious meal!

I can't believe I still haven't drank any cokes since 31 August! I was so hooked on them! I even got Jethro off the powdered tea he was drinking with the lemon and sugar mixed in it! He now drinks my homemade brewed tea! I also don't buy all the snacks I used to eat either. I'm saving tons of dollars by not buying those things now! And I'm slowly seeing the inches and pounds fall off by staying away from those things!

Our dog was put on a diet when I put myself on one. He's lost a lot of weight! His collar had to be tightened the other day because of his weight loss! I had even asked Jethro if he'd loosened it! LOL Miss Sherry got so close to him this afternoon I thought she was going to jump on his back! I was ready and waiting to rescue her if she did! Magnum just picked his head up to look at her and then laid his head back down. All three of the little girls will get close to him and he could careless! He never bothers them! Now if only I could get Marvin to leave him alone we'd all be much better off! Even Marvin and Jethro are having issues too! Oh the male species!

Well it's getting late! I better sign off!

Everyone have a clean day!

TOD
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Old 02-03-2016, 05:11 AM   #46 (permalink)
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Hello Everybody!

It's a cold 36 degrees here this morning! Yesterday it was a beautiful 75 degrees!

I'm late getting here. I was busy busy all night doing things! Lots of chicken things too! They keep me running!

Big Boy Marvin is crowing in my ear! It's daylight out there and I'm still up! Somethings wrong with this picture? LOL

Jethro and I had a good day yesterday! I even got up way earlier than usual in order to enjoy the beautiful day and spend time with him outside!

I had to laugh at Maria around 3:30 PM. She was drooping quickly. Jethro had gone to town and I sent him a text telling him she was missing y'all's nap time. I picked her up, put her on the couch and covered her up. She was asleep quickly. Then after Jethro got home with Mexican food and cookies for himself? She come alive under the blankie. After eating lunch he brought her to the table and she shared a cookie with him. He peeled the sticker off the box and stuck it on my arm. Without looking at it I asked him if it said "I was sweet and delicious?" LOL I couldn't resist! He just made a goofy facial expression!

Maria inhaled all the cookie part and left the icing alone! She stood against daddy and clicked her beak over and over to tell us it was good! Then she wiped her beak off and gave us the signs she was ready to go back to sleep. Jethro stretched out on the floor and had me put Maria on his belly. They were both quickly asleep! I read something about that falling asleep quickly!



Everyone have a clean day!

TOD
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Old 02-05-2016, 03:41 AM   #47 (permalink)
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Oh gosh they are so cute. <3
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Old 02-05-2016, 05:37 AM   #48 (permalink)
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Thanks Badsneakers! Good to see ya!

After a night of paying the bills, taking out a loan to pay our home and CC off in order to stop paying so much money out each month and then watching a recorded series of a show to get caught up on it? I'm mentally worn out! But it's a good worn out! I feel really good too with the accomplishments I'm getting completed! I know I said I wasn't crazy to do something like this, but after adding all the interest rates up and seeing how long it's going to take us to pay off these things? I changed my mind and went with the lesser interest rate by getting the loan! That interest rate was eating my lunch every month!

I've spent years working at getting my credit rating back up to an excellent status and I'm finally there! The memories of being strung out on pain pills, owing everybody and their brother and not having the money to pay them was a reason I'd pop more pills! The worries would fade for awhile and then they'd come screaming back at me when the pills wore off! Well! I'd just pop somemore! All that accomplished was having the bills get further behind! I'm so happy those days are all behind me!

Our kids are all well fed, warm and toasty right now too in this 24 degree weather! Jethro is ecstatic about getting our home paid off! Once this is done? Everything on the property will be paid for! Sure I'll have the loan to pay off, but we won't have to worry about the mortgage company confiscating our home! EVER! And since it will be ours? We can start remodeling it and fixing the things that need to be fixed. We have the expensive flooring sitting in our barns to put on the floors. But I wouldn't allow it to be done until we had the deed in our hands!

After Jethro's pole barn is built he can get all the stuff out of his other barn that belongs in it into the new barn. Then he'll have his old barn cleared out so that he can have his wood shop again! Other than sitting the machinery outside to work on wood stuff? He's got no other place to do it right now! And that's not going to happen!

I can already see my nightshift coming to an end in the near future! Ugh! But it's time for it! Jethro has been a real trooper during the day taking care of the kids for us! But of course there's all sorts of night time stuff I do for them too!

Sherry's starting to growl at me from the top of the couch whenever I walk over to pet Maria on the cushions of the couch! I call her Maria's little Protector! LOL Of course I pet Sherry too!

Well the sun is up and I'm late getting to bed! I'm not sleepy, but I know in a few hours I'll be dragging! So I better get ready and head that way!

Everyone have a clean day!

TOD
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Old 02-06-2016, 03:31 AM   #49 (permalink)
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I don't want my Molly girl to feel left out! So here she is! She was in here earlier dusting on a fuzzy rug underneath the heat lamp! LOL



Jennifer is doing much better! She didn't sneeze not one time this evening! I'll keep her inside though! Temps are very cold right now and going to stay that way for awhile! I was trying to think of something to put on her feet so she wouldn't slide so badly from having the one leg out to her side? Well I finally figured it out! Those snow shoes for dog's paws would probably work for her! We'll have to file the sharp edges off her toenails though so she doesn't poke a hole thru them!

Did y'all see the story on the CA doctor being sentenced to prison for 30 years? She prescribed too many pain meds and three ppl died from them. Doctor's are really running scared now!

I've been busy on other things tonight so I'm going to say goodnight!

Everyone have a clean day!

TOD
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Old 02-07-2016, 03:17 AM   #50 (permalink)
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Hello Everyone!

Today I have 20 months opiate FREE! 7-7-2016!

I'm feeling good about getting things done too! While on those pain pills I didn't give a crap about anything! I did what was mandatory and said screw the rest of it. Life sucks and I'll take another handful of pills to forget everything! Worked great in my mind! Why should I care about anything when I had the wonderful pills to pop? I was so in love with them and felt they were going to keep me feeling wonderful right up to the point I needed another dose!

Well those doses didn't last! I'm sure others on here can agree with me? Right before I'd run out of them I'd be freaking out trying to figure out how to get more! I'd end up starting to w/d off them instead! Days later I'd get my refill in the mail. I'd grab that bottle out of the mailbox and kiss it! Ugh! Remember? I was in love with those pills? They were the answer to me feeling good!

The problem though I had reached a point of needing to take so many of them the bottle ran out quickly!

I'd come to my good senses and tell myself: "It was time!" Time to get off them again! God I hated going thru the days, weeks in order to start feeling better! But I did it! I made it thru to the other side! My doom and gloom veil had lifted! I started actually feeling alive again! Not just a person existing!

I missed how the pain meds made me feel in the beginning of not taking them! But I also remembered how it was when I didn't have any and would have to wait days for them to come in. I'd take so many I'd actually throw up! I was so messed up I just wasn't ME anymore! And I missed ME!

I'm truly grateful I have it within myself to abstain from them. Life only gets easier the longer I stay off them! I think too? What's going to happen if I'm messed up on pills and there's an emergency I have to attend to? I don't want to be caught in that scenario! The what if's are always around the corner! I want to be clean when it happens!

Everyone have a clean day!

TOD
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Old 02-07-2016, 07:25 AM   #51 (permalink)
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Congrats on 20 months Tod
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Old 02-11-2016, 04:38 AM   #52 (permalink)
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Hiya Tod
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Old 02-12-2016, 10:43 AM   #53 (permalink)
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Hello Everyone!

Hiya Soberwolf!

I'm going to be getting scarce on SR with Springtime around the corner. With changing back to daytime hours. With helping Jethro doing stuff now that the pole barn is in the near future!

I'm tired of sleeping days away and nothing getting done around here at night! I'm not the same person I used to be while strung out on the pain meds! I have the joy of being alive again in me and I want to enjoy it!

I've posted here on SR for a long time now! I hope there are some out there that have gotten some good from all the posts? I can only say at this point: "Living a clean life is truly worth it! Our troubles are much easier to handle when we aren't living in a foggy brain!"

Wishing everyone a clean day!

TOD
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Old 02-12-2016, 10:50 AM   #54 (permalink)
Psalm 118:24
 
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waiting for you to send up some warm air this way
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J - Jesus first
O - Others next
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Old 02-12-2016, 11:11 AM   #55 (permalink)
RIP Maria
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CAPTAINZING2000 View Post
waiting for you to send up some warm air this way
Well it's sunny and 63 degrees here! Not sure how I'd get it packaged to send to ya though! HMMMMMMM? I appreciate every good day I can get so I can put the kids outside!

Gonna be 45 Saturday and 59 Sunday with lots of rain. We've been on a roller coaster around here with our weather for months!

I lived in your neck of the woods a long time ago! I know exactly what you're dealing with!

TOD
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Old 02-12-2016, 11:34 AM   #56 (permalink)
Psalm 118:24
 
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a balmy 6' for the low tonight..

I was leaving for Vegas in two weeks and I see it's dropping from the mid 70's to the low mid 60's .. grrr
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Old 02-14-2016, 05:04 PM   #57 (permalink)
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Belated congrats on 20 months Tod!

Happy Valentine's Day!

Your chicks look great! Love the pics!

I can't wait til Spring either...and then, summer! Yea! We're planning to go camping a lot next summer with our kids and grandkids. I can't wait!

I can't believe how much your temps are fluctuating...75 down to 36! Wow, that's quit the difference!

We had 1 of our grandsons over last night & had a rated g movie marathon! We had a great time!

Valentine's (( Hugs ))
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Old 02-14-2016, 11:22 PM   #58 (permalink)
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How are you TOD x
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Old 07-07-2016, 02:51 AM   #59 (permalink)
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Posts: 7,653
Tod has two years clean!!!

Hi everyone!

Long time not being here! I wanted to check in today: 7-7-2016 to let everyone know I'm doing good and as of today I have TWO years clean off the opiates! I've had two years clean before! I was injured and put back on the pain meds for a year before I was allowed to have surgery! So here I am again with two years clean! It would be nice to say I'm just going to keep racking the years up, but we all know chit happens! Sigh! So I live my life hour to hour! Day to Day! I enjoy the sweet good moments and make myself scarce when there's bad times!

We still have the three little silkie hens in the house! Molly's hours have been changed. She now sleeps on the other couch in the living room at night and spends her days with Jethro and Maria at a distance! She wants company, but doesn't want to be picked up! LOL Unless it's momma doing the picking up! I'm still a Night Owl! Hope to be changing that soon!

Jethro's barn has started! The dirt has been laid out and the guys will be here today or Monday to frame it in for the concrete pouring! I told Mom Monday while she was here to celebrate Independence Day she better be here when the concrete is poured if she wants her hand prints in it! LOL I'm sure she will be! Mom just brought two mutt puppies home to raise for her own! She's in love with those two little puppies! Little girls!

I'm still doing the slow diet! Still haven't touched a drop of coke a cola since last August! Wait! I took one little sip of Jethro's coke at the restaurant last month! Ironically? It was nasty tasting! And to think I used to LOVE that stuff! Our home used to be loaded with snacks! Not anymore! If it's not here when I get hungry? Then I eat something healthy! I even stopped drinking the lightly sweetened tea I make! I now drink water and milk with a meal!

It takes baby steps with anything I'm trying to stop! Other than the opiates! I did the crash course on those! Cold Turkeyed off them! I was SOOO ready to be done with them! I've C/T'ed many times off them before! So I knew what to expect! I purposely run out early on my script and that way I know I can't get anymore for several weeks. It's a scary day when that 1st detox day arrives, but I know there's better days down the road! I just have to keep those thoughts while I'm going thru the w/d's! That don't last forever! Once I start feeling better I start to forget about them and start enjoying little things again! And then the bigger things!

Jethro doesn't get pain meds anymore! Not since August last year! But he still has several bottles hidden in his barn. I don't step foot in there! I can just think about the pills in there and old feelings and thoughts start swirling! I'm a Recovering Addict! I'm not going to tempt fate!

Those pills have stolen many days from me! I'm 56 now and I have some making up to do for all those lost days! I'm not about to take chances on ruining that forecast ahead of me!

I truly wish everyone the strength and courage to pick a date and start that last day of using your DOC! It's SO worth it!

TOD
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Old 07-07-2016, 03:16 AM   #60 (permalink)
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Awesome job on 2 years clean TOD you lady are amazing
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