Losing Faith
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Vermont
Posts: 15
Losing Faith
I feel like I'm losing it. I keep relapsing with methadone pills. I keep thinking of destructive things to do, and i'm losing motivation. I am so ******* nervous all the time and I just started working a few hours a at a golf course and I am starting to be around people again and i find myself stumbling on my words, second guessing every move and I am always nervous but not like this and I don't feel like myself. I'm loud and outspoken and funny... And now I feel week, tired, and shy.
I know with time this is supposed to fade and get better with more sober time...But I just am not sure how to get through this part of it.... I keep relapsing to get my courage back. And I am ******* better than that. I know I am... But my addiction talks my right back into that deep dark hole.
I know with time this is supposed to fade and get better with more sober time...But I just am not sure how to get through this part of it.... I keep relapsing to get my courage back. And I am ******* better than that. I know I am... But my addiction talks my right back into that deep dark hole.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: America
Posts: 4,136
Relapses are b**tc*, man.
But guess what? It's not your fault.
Do you have enough support in your life? That's something I struggle with, is being able to assert my needs for myself.
I am really good at advocating and being assertive for others. Not quite so good at doing it for myself. How twisted is that? !! ? And, it's gotten me in some deep doodoo.
You are expressing your feelings well and reaching out and being honest. Being in touch with your TRUE feelings is half the battle. It might feel scary and I totally get that.
I'm going through a rough patch right now. It's been hard for me to admit some things.
I feel a bit lost too. I'm not sure what I can hang on to and what I should let go of. I want to be healthy. And I don't want to hang on to things that I shouldn't. But, I feel like I'm dyin' inside sometimes.
But I need to face things with a clean, clear head. I need to think clearly and make good decisions. It can sure feel cloudy though, instead of clear.
You can do this, you can win. The loud, funny, outspoken person that you are is STIIL very much there AND worthy of love/lovable. Maybe you also have a shy quiet side and that's alright! Maybe you are just getting in touch with those qualities within you. They are not bad qualities.
(hug)
But guess what? It's not your fault.
Do you have enough support in your life? That's something I struggle with, is being able to assert my needs for myself.
I am really good at advocating and being assertive for others. Not quite so good at doing it for myself. How twisted is that? !! ? And, it's gotten me in some deep doodoo.
You are expressing your feelings well and reaching out and being honest. Being in touch with your TRUE feelings is half the battle. It might feel scary and I totally get that.
I'm going through a rough patch right now. It's been hard for me to admit some things.
I feel a bit lost too. I'm not sure what I can hang on to and what I should let go of. I want to be healthy. And I don't want to hang on to things that I shouldn't. But, I feel like I'm dyin' inside sometimes.
But I need to face things with a clean, clear head. I need to think clearly and make good decisions. It can sure feel cloudy though, instead of clear.
You can do this, you can win. The loud, funny, outspoken person that you are is STIIL very much there AND worthy of love/lovable. Maybe you also have a shy quiet side and that's alright! Maybe you are just getting in touch with those qualities within you. They are not bad qualities.
(hug)
Do your best
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