Failure
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Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Auckland
Posts: 2,548
Cripes - you're kidding me?! No wonder there are no Americans here :-( I don't think things are that stringent for all immigrants though, it wouldn't seem.
It is very beautiful physically, with the harbours, volcanoes, greenery and birds. Not much chop by way of buildings, but great restaurants and cafes. Not bad in terms of the arts. Houses cost an absolute fortune here at the moment - ridiculous. Anyway, one of our numerous volcanoes will probably explode shortly, and you'll be thankful you couldn't come :-)
It is very beautiful physically, with the harbours, volcanoes, greenery and birds. Not much chop by way of buildings, but great restaurants and cafes. Not bad in terms of the arts. Houses cost an absolute fortune here at the moment - ridiculous. Anyway, one of our numerous volcanoes will probably explode shortly, and you'll be thankful you couldn't come :-)
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 130
Well. The laughs just keep coming. My father just had a stroke. He came home yesterday and within an hour my mom's on her way to the ER in an ambulance. Tools? Adaptations? How does a mind stay strong when claws are ripping your heart out?
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
I'm sorry to hear about your Dad Dru.
How do we stay strong - we just do....
I put other people first and I be there for them, and they're there for me...
and then when I get a quiet moment I maybe cry a little, get my breath and then go do how many minutes of exercise it takes me to feel functional again.
The one thing I can't do is drink or get high.
That's running away.
I'm not dealing with my issues or anyone elses that way.
I have some experience with strokes. I hope your dad will make a complete recovery, Dru.
D
How do we stay strong - we just do....
I put other people first and I be there for them, and they're there for me...
and then when I get a quiet moment I maybe cry a little, get my breath and then go do how many minutes of exercise it takes me to feel functional again.
The one thing I can't do is drink or get high.
That's running away.
I'm not dealing with my issues or anyone elses that way.
I have some experience with strokes. I hope your dad will make a complete recovery, Dru.
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 130
Hi Dee, thanks. I wasn't very clear earlier, in part as my emotions were skyrocketing all over. I'm concerned about my dad and the stroke issues of course, What really chapped my ass and flipped my gourd was the fact that my folks had apparently been hiding an ongoing health issue my mom has had, for at least the last 6 months, where, with an almost predictable degree of regularity every 3 or so weeks, she will start to have an episode that begins with her thoughts growing foggy, she becomes disoriented, her speech begins to slur and then the capacity for speech just stops. Stroke like symptoms of course, can also be an indication of a seizure focus etc. But the fact that my dad's been having a variety of recent health issues including a recent broken tibia and then the ambush news of, oh, by the way, dad just got home from the hospital but mom's not going to let that hospital bed grow cool and here's why, kind of, with alot of weaseling and evasion in the fashion it was presented and the timing led to me doing a halfway decent Sam Kinnison impression. Sigh, and I broke.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
You get what I mean tho right - getting high or drunk isn't an effective coping mechanism?
It's the opposite of dealing with stuff.
All that stuff is still gonna be there to deal with when we come down or sober up.
My parents are like that too - they hide stuff or ignore it...and ironically, I think getting drunk or high is a lot like that.
I learned to deal with stuff in a different healthier way. I reckon you can too Dru?
D
It's the opposite of dealing with stuff.
All that stuff is still gonna be there to deal with when we come down or sober up.
My parents are like that too - they hide stuff or ignore it...and ironically, I think getting drunk or high is a lot like that.
I learned to deal with stuff in a different healthier way. I reckon you can too Dru?
D
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 130
Oh yeah, if I didn't know it was a worthless behavioral response/adaptation I might be slightly less disappointed in myself for allowing my will to crack, but thanks
Originally Posted by Dee74 
You get what I mean tho right - getting high or drunk isn't an effective coping mechanism?
It's the opposite of dealing with stuff.
All that stuff is still gonna be there to deal with when we come down or sober up.
My parents are like that too - they hide stuff or ignore it...and ironically, I think getting drunk or high is a lot like that.
I learned to deal with stuff in a different healthier way. I reckon you can too Dru?
D
It's the opposite of dealing with stuff.
All that stuff is still gonna be there to deal with when we come down or sober up.
My parents are like that too - they hide stuff or ignore it...and ironically, I think getting drunk or high is a lot like that.
I learned to deal with stuff in a different healthier way. I reckon you can too Dru?
D
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 130
Plan...chicken or the egg, justification or excuse. My doc claims my general pain level is likely to be perceived as less by my brain if I'm in better physical condition. That's also a theme I've seen repeated elsewhere in various ways. With no pain killers, I can walk or semi-fast walk, at best, for between 100 yards on the bad days to a half mile/mile on good days without having to stop repeatedly depending upon the day's starting pain level, the humidity, whether the barometric pressure is steady, rising or falling (yes, I'm actually serious) and a fluctuating and random stamina factors that vary but I've not been able to nail down and/or quantify. My aerobic conditioning is absolutely atrocious. Now, also w/o pain meds, if I strap up my lower back and neck tight, and for some exercises use a reinforced stool to sit on, I can bang out 1-5 sets of dumb bell routines for arms, shoulders, delts, pecs etc. The big problem rears its head when I try to do anything to stengthen quads, lower or mid back, and abs. Often times I may as well douse up with kerosene and toss a match cause I can get almost no effective work going with these muscle groups. Now Cthulhu rears his head. With meds, I can get some reps done. No great shakes and nothing like before the injuries, but something to build upon. So, yeah Dee, I'm pondering plan options, just which fork in the road to take and which has more potholes and IEDs than the other.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
It took me a long time and a few doctors to find the right help and the right answers for my chronic pain that didn't mean being medicated up the wazoo.
A light but regular exercise plan helped me as much mentally as it did physically so there may be something in what your Dr suggested.
I hope you find the answers
D
A light but regular exercise plan helped me as much mentally as it did physically so there may be something in what your Dr suggested.
I hope you find the answers
D
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 130
Originally Posted by Elizabeth333
Hi - in my own experience - three rehabs - they did not help me = I'm able to stay on the path by my own true acceptance of what is in the past and my present being. Reading Buddhist writing and meditation have also helped. Just being quiet in myself and a couple of AA meetings a week help me to connect with others.
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