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Old 11-26-2015, 01:33 AM   #261 (permalink)
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You too Tod happy thanksgiving
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Old 11-26-2015, 01:42 AM   #262 (permalink)
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Today was a long day! Made it to the dentist on time. Actually 10 minutes early. Take that Jethro! LOL I met the new dentist! Found out she's from Turkey. And she also lived in WI too! We talked about how much snow we had to shovel when we lived there! Ugh!

I took an extra BP tablet and my low mg valium before leaving the house. And be damned if my BP wasn't still super high! It was 198/101! ARGH! I heard Jethro behind me groaning! The assistant asked me if it was always high? I said: "It is when I'm sitting in this chair!"

I had one crown cemented back in my mouth and she worked on smoothing four teeth on the bottom as well as filling one of them. Jethro kept up a steady stream of conversation that I stayed tuned to. And of course he was showing them pictures of Maria! LOL The assistant was fascinated by her! LOL I'm being scheduled for a deep cleaning in the future. I've had one of those before and they aren't pleasant!

We left there and went to the Army base to get me cigarettes. The cashier asked us about our feathered kids. I told her we were looking for a hen so Marvin could have a buddy! She got all excited and told me her mom lives on a farm and raises chickens! So I might have a place to get a hen for him? Then we headed to Mexico Chiquita to get tacos. Then we took all the food to mom's to share with her. After leaving there we went to walmart! So crowded in there! I bought some new clothes for myself and Jethro! We got the groceries we needed and headed to the checkout!

Maria told us off when we got home. She wasn't happy about being left alone for so many hours. I told her: "We don't belong to you 100%! Close! But not completely!" She commenced complaining! LOL

Okay! Gotta hit the sheets! I'm worn out! Had a good, busy day today! But I enjoyed myself! I get several hours of sleep and then I have to hit the floor running!

TB: Don't burn the turkey! Or anything else!

Wishing everyone a clean day!

TOD
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Old 11-26-2015, 04:31 AM   #263 (permalink)
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Old 11-26-2015, 07:10 AM   #264 (permalink)
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Happy Thanksgiving!
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Old 11-26-2015, 08:52 AM   #265 (permalink)
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I thought it's supposed to be COLD at Thanksgiving? It's 63 degrees here! At least the weather's nice enough for the kiddies to get out of Grandma's house and play outside! LOL

I have a string attached to Jethro's finger on how much time I have to get ready to head out to mom's! He's pulling it tighter and tighter with my time! He loves having the events where he can crack the whip to make me RUSH! And I have tons to do before I leave! LORDY! So with that said?

Everyone have a wonderful Day!

Also wishing everyone a clean day!

TOD
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Old 11-26-2015, 12:28 PM   #266 (permalink)
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Happy thanksgiving Tod & everyone
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Old 11-28-2015, 06:10 PM   #267 (permalink)
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Hey girlfriend!
I hope you & Jethro had a wonderful Thanksgiving! Hubs and I went to my daughter's w/our son & had a grand ole time! We stayed for a few days, so we brought our chi, Dora w/us ( son took his chi-poo too. ) Plus, my daughter has an Australian Heeler. It was hilarious watching my son's chi-poo w/the heeler because of the size difference & the little chi-poo has a big attitude lol.

I quit sugar this past Monday. Chocolate and ice cream are my real downfalls & I've packed on 40lbs since I quit heroin 15mos ago ugh! I did pretty well this 1wk. Only had 1 piece of pie & a couple glasses of Squirt. I'll do better next 1wk.

It's great that you may have found a new source for a gf for Marvin! Good luck!
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Old 11-29-2015, 01:56 AM   #268 (permalink)
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Hello Everyone!

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving gathering! There were about 12 of us family members in attendance! Lot's of laughter and joking around with everyone. Stories of my dad were also brought up from time to time too! Mom made pecan pies! I broke down and had a slice of it! There was a bottle of coke on the counter. I by passed it and went straight for the tea jug! I seriously believe I'm having more difficulty giving those up than the pain meds! Sigh! Pay attention KZ! I've not had a single soda of any sort in several months now! LOL Snacks are a fairly forbidden item on my menu too! Now ice cream? I'll allow myself a small amount late at night if I'm really craving something! As long as I'm not eating all sorts of snacks? The ice cream isn't a biggie!

I'm losing more inches than I am weight! I guess it's part of the process of losing weight! I'm still stuck on the 20 pd mark of losing weight! I can tell a difference in areas on my body that are smaller though! So I'll just keep watching the inches fade away! Of course with the Holidays upon us it's difficult to stay away from all the food! But I'm giving it my ALL to obstain! Jethro is eating everything he can get his hands on though! He can't hardly breathe, he moans and groans like he's in labor whenever he's trying to get up or down too. He's been very moody and spouting negative things in my direction as far as I'm concerned too! He makes fun of me to his friends and cuts me down all the time too! I told him tonight after he embarrassed the crap out of me with a guy on the phone he worked with: "I'm sick of his attitude!" This attitude usually comes out when he's taking the pain meds! And I've seen him doing things that makes me think he's taking them. I haven't said anything to him about them, because I don't want to get into it with him. Things are back to the same old - same old! It's been raining for the past two days and he's done pretty much nothing! Sleep, eat and watch TV! And his constant click click clicking of the mouse playing Solitaire on his laptop! Drives me nuts listening to that constant clicking!

I've been hibernating on the porch with Marvin! I've watched one DVD after another today! I've done a lot of laughing while watching them. I've learned to enjoy myself and not let Jethro bother me when he's in these moods! He won't listen to anything I have to say about things that are better for him anyway!

I was talking to his former coworker about his mother passing Wednesday! It wasn't long and Jethro was making the hurry up sign with his hand. I was trying to help his coworker get thru his grief and dealing with Jethro trying to rush me! ARGH! He just doesn't understand ppl get tired of hearing the same BS stories from him either! It's like his mind is stuck on a few things and he can't think of anything else to talk about!

Watching him act this way makes me super happy I'm no longer taking the pain meds! I sure wish his pole barn was already built! He could stay busy in it working on stuff and avoid sitting around doing nothing right now! And maybe he'd lay off the pain meds. He got mad at me earlier today when I said something about a medicine package being the pain meds and told him he better not order anymore! OH if looks could kill? I'd be dead!

It's rained so much we have a river in our yard again and huge standing puddles all over the yard. We aren't supposed to see a dry day again until Thursday! ARGH! It won't be long and I'll have to plant pans of grass seeds to grow grass for the kids to eat! They love their yard grass and it's good for them.

KZ: It's hard to give the sweets up! But if you stick with it you'll see a large improvement in your body mass! It's slow going, but putting it on was slow going too! All the cokes I was drinking was a biggie on my part! Sitting with glasses of coke and lots of snacks to eat on did the part of making me buy larger clothes. I hated having to do that too! I'm really driven now though to lose the weight so I can get off the BP and Chloestrol medicine!

Glad your family had a good time on Thanksgiving too!

Wishing everyone a clean day!

TOD
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Old 11-29-2015, 05:44 AM   #269 (permalink)
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(((TOD))) (((kzaug))) Sounds like y'all had a wonderful Thanksgiving.

I had planned on having Thanksgiving over my place. But my plans came to a complete halt when I realize the turkey I got was too big for my oven Since I've already committed on having Thanksgiving over my place I had no choice but to take everyone out for Thanksgiving.

It was cool though. The turkey and all the fixings and the dessert after were on the money. Everyone had a blast and of course I picked up the bill. The best part of the whole deal, I didn't have to clean up afterwards

I stay away from all sugary drinks and sweets. I haven't had a soda pop in nine years. I drink my coffee black without sugar. And on occasion I'll go out and treat myself to Cannoli or Italian cookies. But as far as junk food or snacks, I stay far away from them. All I drink on a daily basis is water. And with dinner I'll have a Pellegrino

Jethro is on that crap again, huh? just be careful he doesn't spiral out of control.

Hugs and prayers to all
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Old 11-29-2015, 05:47 AM   #270 (permalink)
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Dammit, now I have an urge for a cannoli and a cappuccino
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Old 11-29-2015, 10:26 AM   #271 (permalink)
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At attention, ma'am! Lol! Yes, I know you have up soda & snacks, you goof! I was talking about me! Pay attention lol! I gave up caffeine when I quit opiates and benzos. Switched to decaf coffee & replaced pop w/water ( although I'll have a Squirt every now & then. ) I plan on rewarding myself w/small amounts of dark chocolate in a few wks!

I knew I was eating like a pig, but wasn't worried about it. I was concentrating on staying drug free ( & then getting hubs drug free. ) But, now it's time to loose that weight. I've never had a problem loosing weight before, but I'm quickly approaching 50 & I've never had to loose this much before. Yikes lol!

I'm sorry to hear that Jethro may be back on the painkillers & that he's been an ornery cuss! But it's great that you can just brush him off. I have a real hard time doing that. When hubs didn't quit drugs the same time I did, I was ready to divorce his butt! Lol!!! But, there's a big difference living w/a heroin addicts vs. a prescription pill addict. Like we didn't even have enough money for monthly necessities because all the money went for drugs ugh! I'm sure glad that's over with!

TB, (( hugs )) right back atcha! You gave me a good laugh when you said your turkey didn't fit in the oven. And, then again w/urge for cannoli & cappuccino! Lol!

I'm glad everyone had a good Thanksgiving!
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Old 11-29-2015, 01:16 PM   #272 (permalink)
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Hello Everyone!

Yawn! Just sitting down with my cup of coffee! TB? My coffee is loaded in cream and a little sugar! LOL I've actually cut back on the amount of cream though! A little less at a time and one day I won't need it at all! I never could handle coffee BLACK! Yuck!

KZ: You can Adease now! LOL Like you and most of us! I too ate the goodies like a maniac while getting off the pain meds! If it wasn't for the "snack defense" tablets I take now? It would be damned hard to stay away from all the goodies! I also take tablets that help to push food thru my body and others grab the fat from earlier days and gets rid of it too! I used this same stuff years ago when I needed to lose weight in order not to get put on the "Fat Boy Program" in the Army! I worked it diligently too! I went from a size 18 to an 8 in four months!

Jethro is gone right now. He left a note on the counter saying mom's car wouldn't start! Crap! She's only had it for two years. She bought it new! So hopefully it's just the battery?

When Jethro doesn't care to kiss me and is a "B" about everything? It's a sure sign he's taking the pain pills again! He's gained so much weight I saw little blood blisters along his skin where his belt is too tight! But as long as he's thinking the pain pills are doing him GOOD? There's really no getting thru to him.

When we were talking to his coworker last night? I asked him if he'd seen Jethro recently? I told him he could easily play the role of Santa Clause! I mentioned I'd lost 20 pounds and is working on losing more! Jethro laughed stupidly and said: "Hey! My wife looks like she's 8 months pregnant!" Another cut down! Just because I've lost 20 pds doesn't mean I'm slim and trim again! Such a dumbazz comment! He's all into baby talking Maria and treats me like chit! Sure signs of him being on the pain pills! I'm so tired of it! We go from days of good times back to these days with him being someone I don't want to be around! So I've learned to ignore him as much as I can when he's like this! He'll call everyone he can that will sit and talk to him just to have someone to talk to, because I'm sure not going to talk to him! I keep hoping he'll wake up one of these days!

My neighbor beside us sent a text wishing us a Happy Thanksgiving! I sent her a picture of poor Marvin pouting in his carrier. She immediately said: "My husband's dad could probably find us a hen. And then her husband said he works with a lady that has chickens too!" So the mission continues to find him a buddy to pal around with! Never thought it would be so difficult to find a single hen! Geeezzz! My sister said I could have her two hens and I refused! They are so wild I'd never be happy with them here!

TB: Everything has sugar in it! You Goof! Just read the labels on the packages! It's weird how I can taste the sugar in raw things now! I took a bite of a raw potatoe the other day and could taste the sweetness!

Wishing everyone a clean day!

TOD
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Old 11-29-2015, 02:28 PM   #273 (permalink)
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TB: Everything has sugar in it!
I agree. It's is unavoidable not to have food that has sugar in it. But I'm talking about sugar that you have control over in daily life. Like refine sugar, soda pop, pastries, sweets like candy bars Etc. The harmful effects of sugar go way beyond empty calories. Added sugar is so unhealthy that it is probably the single worst ingredient in the modern diet. I personally made a conscious decision to stay away food or drinks that are loaded with sugar. My motto is, when it comes to sugar, everything in moderation.

(((kzaug))) LOL I forgot to mention I live in a RV. And the ovens in RVs are much smaller than the traditional house oven. When I got the Turkey I gave it the eye test thinking it would fit. Boy was I wrong

Hugs and prayers
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Old 11-29-2015, 02:32 PM   #274 (permalink)
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Here's something for y'all to ponder in reference to what I deal with around here with Jethro!

For the past two days when I've walked out here on the porch? The natural gas fumes have been thick and heavy! When the stove is turned down low this happens! I said something about it to Jethro and got no response!

Last night I turned the gas off and used the heat bulb on Marvin to keep him warm. When I came out here at 1:30 PM today the fumes were heavy in here. I saw Jethro had turned the stove back on and it was on low! I walked over to the stove and turned it up so I wouldn't smell the fumes! I also opened a window and put a fan in it to pull the fumes out of here! It's 46 degrees here!

Now? Do I ask Jethro to investigate the problem or just continue doing what I'm doing? If I ask him I'll have to deal with all the words that will come flying out of his mouth about how he can't smell anything and it's my imagination running wild again! This happens a lot around here! I usually end up in the bathroom crying from the frustration of trying to get something solved!

There's also a foul odor coming from the pipes in the kitchen sink. They were cleaned out two years ago by Jethro with the snake pump he bought! It needs to be done again! I mentioned this needing to be done several times already! He says he can't smell anything and I'm making chit up!

See? The problem is him and the pain meds! And him gaining so much weight! He's reached a point he's uncomfortable doing anything and the pain meds keep him in the frame of mind he doesn't WANT to do anything! When I threaten to hire someone to fix the problems around here he gets really mad and I duck and dogde his nasty moods and temper. And if he does go to fix the problem? It's usually him throwing stuff around to get it out of his way and yelling at me to get this and that while he's working on the problem. I don't mind helping. I just don't like how he goes about it!

Mom can call him to fix something or help with something and he'll drop whatever he's doing and come running! I'm truly grateful he does this for her, so it's no problem on my end of how I feel about it! I just wish he'd put that much effort into our own home!

Anyhow! Just wanted y'all to know a little about how it is around here dealing with Jethro!

TOD
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Old 11-29-2015, 03:21 PM   #275 (permalink)
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Here's a picture of my cute little oven



Hugs and prayers
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Old 11-29-2015, 06:31 PM   #276 (permalink)
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I made a "fix it" list for the hubs & posted it on the frig this past summer. And I put a time line on it lol ( fall. ) Otherwise, he forgets & that way, I didn't have to constantly remind him. And he could fix things in any order he wanted, when he wanted. He did pretty well...got 8 outta 9 things on the list do need by fall. We've been remodeling, so there's more than usual to get done around here.

TB, that is a cute lil oven! Should have brought a measuring tape lol! So, do you travel a lot in your RV?
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Old 11-29-2015, 06:58 PM   #277 (permalink)
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KZ: Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhh OK! Tried that list thing with Jethro! I found the list crumbled in the trash can! Before anything's done!

He got home right after dark today! I mentioned the stove problem to him. He said he'd take a look at it tomorrow! Would go buy a new one! WTF? Does he think we are made of money? He has already dipped way into his barn money at this point! I'm worried! I'm going to be scrambling to get all the money together in order to pay for the damned thing at this point. And the first payment comes out on the loan in three days!

Also mentioned the odor from the sink! He started speaking loudly with the fact he's already cleaned it out several times! I waited for him to stop shouting and said: "Things go down the sink all the time! Just because you CLEANED it several times? Doesn't mean it's going to stay clean! For instance? Like you shoving small pieces of raw meat fat down the drain and saying it was GOOD for it!" WTH was he thinking? I've also seen lots of bologna pieces being rinsed out of the kids bowls going down the drain too! I have a screen drain over the hole on one side. He doesn't use that side to clean out the dishes!

For someone that is SOOOO intelligient? He can be super stupid in SOOO many ways!

TB's RV! The tires on it hasn't seen road dirt in years! I fully agree with the measuring tape factor on the stove! What were YOU thinking TB?

TOD
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Old 11-29-2015, 07:03 PM   #278 (permalink)
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Oh, Tod, I wanted to add one thing. Jethro's pill addiction & gained weight must be such a frustrating catch 22! I know when I gained weight this past yr., everything became a much harder task. I'm sure he must feel the difference, but then he gets lazy taking the painkillers ugh. I was lazy on pain killers too! One of the best things I love about being clean is how busy I am now!

As far as Jethro though, I'm sorry, but I don't have a clue?
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Old 11-29-2015, 08:02 PM   #279 (permalink)
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LORD yes KZ! The extra weight I'd been carrying put me in a heap of trouble! I mean just bending over to put my shoes on was a feat all in it's self. I'd have to raise up to catch my breath and then attempt it again! Taking a shower absolutely wore me out! I hated walking and feeling my lower belly fat hit the top of my legs! Or sitting with the roll of fat sitting on my legs! I truly couldn't believe I'd let myself get SO big! I asked myself many times: "What have I done to myself?"

I figured out along the way. I was grieving the loss of the pain meds, dealing with Jethro in his moodiness and all the stuff that needed to be done around here! Food took over my life! One day when I put my favorite pants on and I couldn't breathe after stuffing myself into them? That was the day I decided it was time to do something about my weight problem!

Once I started losing weight and started feeling like getting stuff done? I started coming back to life!

Master are the pain pills when someone is under their influence! They ruled me at one time. They no longer rule me now! I am now Master of my own life!

For those still under their influence? I wish y'all the strength to break that hold over your life! As I do for my husband!

TOD
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Old 11-30-2015, 08:18 AM   #280 (permalink)
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TB, that is a cute lil oven! Should have brought a measuring tape lol! So, do you travel a lot in your RV?
In my defense it was the smallest turkey there lol

The RV is permanently park in a campground. Unfortunately and fortunately due to losing my house for foreclosure, I've been living in RVs since 2006. At first I had a class C RV. The class C got too small for my growing family (my 2 cats) I was fortunate enough to find this 30 foot fifth wheel RV that you see in the picture. The site fee is $625 and that includes everything (light, water, sewer, cable and Wi-Fi) propane for hot water and heat is not included. 100 pounds of propane is around $85.

There is a lot more to the RV story as TOD can contest. A botched knee replacement, lost of job, on unemployment, almost lost my truck, no truck insurance, I couldn't afford to buy gas for my truck, almost lost my RV, this close to being homeless, on welfare, and finally on permanent disability. People like TOD saved my butt several times over. And there was other members of sober recovery that came to my rescue when I was down and out. Like Lenina, Amy, chicory to name a few. If you ever want to hear the full story I'll be more than happy to



Home sweet home



Hugs and prayers
TB
__________________
Fear - False Evidence Appearing Real.

Denial - Don't Even Notice I Am Lying

Everybody's at war with different things, I'm at war with my own heart, sometimes.
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