Concerta/Ritalin Abuse
 

I'm new here, and not so sure about what to write, but I'll try.
I started abusing my add/add medications in 2011, then in 2012 I got help, and when to rehab for two years, I was clean, not taking any illegal drugs, and also taking the accurate doze I was prescribed. Then in December 2013 I started taking too many pills again.
At first I was just not able to concentrate, since I had no more meds left.
Then, after a few months my neighbour asked me if I wanted to try some speed, and that it could help me concentrate, and for me, it did, so instead of going back to rehabilitate my abuse, I just delayed it. Only a few people knew about it at first, only my neighbour, and another friend, and I didn't think I had a problem at all. Then in 2014, as I was driving there was a routine police traffic stop, and I panicked, and drove off, I stopped for them eventually, that was my first time getting arrested, due to drugs and the fact that I didn't have a drivers license. The same happened two more times. I did so many impulsive, and stupid decisions, the last time I got arrested driving the car, I decided not to drive again unless I get clean and I got a valid licence.
In October 2014 my girlfriend did the right thing and left me, after I was in a fight and was clinically dead 3 times, (Heart failure) . After then everything got worse, I lost my apartment, started partying another, doing coke, amphetamine, in my mind I had nothing to lose, and I've been thinking that, until just a few days ago, now I'm back in rehab, but I need some advice to help me do this the right way. Logically all fy good friends stopped talking with me, no contact at all. And I'm only 28 years old, I think it's about time to learn by my mistakes, also, I really really need some advise on impulsive management.

I found that the combination of quitting drugs, therapy and some sort of program helped a great deal with the compulsive behavior. When I am using my actions are that of someone with BiPolar II. Some days that is all that keeps me clean is not wanting to deal with mental illness.

What changed for me this time was that I knew that I couldn't do it on my own and my way doesn't work. Too bad it took giving away my family to realize that. When I surrendered I became whole again-not right away, but slowly, by doing the work.

I am so glad you are here. SR is a wonderful place with so much experience, strength and hope.

Thank you Latte, I've been shaking, and feeling sick since I got here "rehab" as i just started up again on antabuse, and antidepressant, horrible side effects, and heavy depression, I know i will see this through, I'm just terrified that I'll **** up again:-(

Yes I ditto what latte just said.

By surrendering and realizing that you need help.
By not using no matter what.
And by sticking with your recovery program.

Your post reminded me of someone suffering with Bipolar....which like latte mentioned could just be a symptom of your addiction in active stages....or it could be a mental illness that needs addressing? I suggest a trip to the psych doctor to get it checked out....Perhaps your rehab has one on staff?

I took several tests, and my doctor thought for a while I had bipolar, i took meds for it too for a while, but it just made me sick and uncomfortable. I asked if I could have my add meds back in stead, and I did, after that I never really talk about it. I'm really good at making people belive every word I say, and that is also another of the reason why I avoided therapy until now.

I agree that surrender is the answer. Doing what is suggested. Honesty.

Lying and manipulating only hurts you, truly.

I think you will make it stick this time. There is a way out, and you'll find it if you keep seeking.

Welcome to the site Teddy1987 :)

Thank you, I already like this site, I really do want to recover this time, I didn't really take the seriousness of the situation my last time in rehab, but now I'm really gonna do whatever I have to do. And also I will talk to my assigned contact here about testing me for bipolar again, I took a few bipolar tests online, and they all suggested that i had it.

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Hi Teddy1987! I wish you luck! You found a good place, here at SR! Everyone is very supportive and wonderful!

Thank you, yesterday was actually a pretty good day, but then around 06pm I started my hands started shaking uncontrollably, and when I talked, I talked really fast and mumbled a lot, I started using cipralex (antidepressants) and antabuse (for Alcoholism) last week when I got here, I don't really crave for drugs at all, but I feel really really sick, and I'm unable to relax my shoulders, I still got my motivation, and I won't quit the program, but this is alot, for all you people that over came this, hat's off to you.

I can really identify with your story. I used pretty much anything I could get my hands on but stimulants were my #1 - started off with Adderall, vyvanse, concerta, and eventually crystal meth. I'm in rehab also, if you ever need to talk feel free to shoot me a PM.