I'm still here.
 

I've been lurking all this time.

On the 9the of April I reached 1 year and 3 months. 15 months I can't believe it. My husband gets out of prison in August and he reached 1 year and 5 months on March 27th.

He won't be coming straight home, but will be returning to the same city.

I don't not know what the future holds for him but I do know what it holds for me.

I have decided to lay down my shovel. I have decided to stop digging. It has been difficult in many ways, but also rewarding.

To those of you that are suffering tonight... in withdrawals... or tapering down or still digging.
There is hope. This is one situation where the grass really is greener on the other side.
Hugs and prayers.
Lily

Congratulations on 15 months!!!
Great job!

This was inspiring to read.

Thanks.

Hi Lily!!

Good to see you again.

Congrats on 15 months! You are doing great!

It doesn't always feel great.

I post on the F&F forum a lot more than I do here. I struggle a lot with the possibility of losing my husband to relapsed. Staying on my side of the street is so hard.

I still think about it. I still have dreams. Those dreams though have changed into nightmares. I dream of losing all of the things I love again.

I have since went to court and won Jodi t custody of my kids. That alone is probably my greatest accomplishment.

Yesterday I planted a garden in pots on my a ppartment patio. There are strawberries, blueberries, carrots, green beans, watermelons and carrots. It's very exciting for me. I haven't had a garden in years.

My brother bought me a dog and I love my fur baby so much.

Life is tough. There's no getting around it. I have so many ups and downs and I get super strong emotions. Some days I can't find the energy to get out of bed and other nights I get racing thoughts and can't sleep. The doctor says it could be PAWS. I try to "just keep swimming" every day.

My memory sucks. I have entire gaps of time missing from it. I recently found some pictures that I have no clue who is in them or when they were taken. I can remember last night though! Lol :) I'm always misplacing things and it's hard to stay organized and on task.

Awesome job on 15 months

Lily, you stay clean no matter what and other things will begin to resolve. the farther you get from that last use, the "easier" things will become.....you are still building new healthy habits and that takes time. dangit!

congratulations on 15 months. that is a huge accomplishment. deserves a nap, don't ya think??! LOL

((((Anvil))))

You have been with me since day one!!! Thank you!!!