someone who understands...
 

Thats all i have wanted for months. I have tried talking to friends, family called a few therapists. There is no one i click with or feel comfortable talking to. No one that truly can understand the pain and sadness i feel in my soul. Joining this website has been just about a last ditch effort but i still feel on the outside not sure how to try to talk to people.

I was clean for 15 months i had a beautiful baby girl i thought i had put the stupid party **** behind me. Then like a ******* trainwreck my so lost his job we lost our apartment started living with my friend. That was all fine i let it roll off my back. August 15th rolls around and my whole ******* world just crumbles. My only brother pretty much the last of my family other than mom and dad was killed in a motorcycle accident. I was supposed to go see him that day. He was an addict from the time he was 17 highly functioning but could never put down the needle. Thats what made me stay from all that **** i couldnt be like that.

Well that all went to **** i just wanted to know how he felt and be closer and numb all that ******* pain. Ive spent probably 3k in the last 6 months on dope meth pills crack. I finally quit everything on the 25th of january i detoxed myself and now im just trying to control this monster i created. I would have spent double that amount if it wasnt for my fiance. I have hid most of this from him he would freak out i know i need to go real n.a but i was hoping for maybe a friend on here someone that i can talk to and that understands that all i really want

I am sorry for your despair. Looks like life handed you a bunch of reasons to want to escape, but drugs aren't the answer.

I hope you find the understanding you seek. I would suggest you seek some form of recovery help. Getting clean and staying that way is most important...for you, for your daughter.

Working on your grief and pain can come after that.

Take care.

Wow...fallingwater! I'm so sorry about your brother!! I am super close to mine and to loose him would be horrible! Even though we are both grown and live in different parts of the US....I still consider us close!

I do have a bio-brother that died before I met him. He was killed in a drunk driving accident. I think that stinks! But I know to lose the one I know....have had a relationship with....would be something I could hardly bare!

Feel free to pm if you would like to talk.

Wow...fallingwater! I'm so sorry about your brother!! I am super close to mine and to loose him would be horrible! Even though we are both grown and live in different parts of the US....I still consider us close!

I do have a bio-brother that died before I met him. He was killed in a drunk driving accident. I think that stinks! But I know to lose the one I know....have had a relationship with....would be something I could hardly bare!

Feel free to pm if you would like to talk.

I'm sorry for your loss and your pain fallingwater. I'm really glad you're getting back on the right track tho :)

D

Me too sorry for your loss.

Like you said you want and need friends! This is a good place to start. Na is good. Therapy is good.

Also you/we need to begin a friendship with your "self"...

moments of genuinely liking and being with yourself. Perhaps that is on the top of the list at some point

Great job.