Not remotely tempted
 

Went to bikram this morning came home then went out for breakfast. Bizarrely as I walked down the street I saw an friend I used to be best pals with get out of a car. I recognised the car and the person in it - my old smack dealer. Id told him before I was clean now and never to mention or ask about heroin ever again. He goes "you're not meeting X are you?!" Thinking I might have called to score at the same time. I went "'no I'm walking home, I thought you said you weren't using?" He goes "aaah I've been rumbled" he lives around the corner on his own. I had no interest or desire in jumping in the car and scoring and the prospect of going back to his seedy bedsit and getting on had zero appeal as well. To be fair he didn't ask I just told him to go easy and we went our separate ways. Weird how excited i used to get to see that car pull up, the hours spent waiting in car parks for X etc to turn up. What a waste. Now, no temptation or appeal at all. Another small victory on the road to recovery.

you are amazing!!!!

great job RED!!!!

Cheers guys it was quite surreal. I live in a lovely suburb where everyone knows each other but there's a dark underbelly. So bumping into loads of people you know is a daily event but this one was very odd. Think my mate was a bit stunned that I wasn't tempted. But I wasn't. That's the honest truth - im picking the pieces of my life back together there's lots of good things in my life but as you'd expect a lot of **** to sort out - why would I want to do that again? No fooking chance. I'm an addict but a recovering one. Nil by using.

Awesome post! I love your attitude!

Cheers Bryn, just keeping strong and just annoyed with myself at what a boring self absorbed fool I turned into through addiction. I made that dealer a fortune. So pissed off with myself! Literally hundreds of thousands of dollars? And for what? an Empty bank account and a mashed head. Never again.

Im proud of you, Red. All you have to do is keep doing what you are doing:)

How wonderful! Thanks for sharing the event and keep up the good work.

Thanks again appreciate the support, im remaining as vigilant as ever, I'm still doing baby steps so I have to keep strong and keep doing the right things. It's just acceptance of being am
Addict that life is going to throw curve balls and temptation at me (even though I wasn't tempted !)!for the rest of my life and i have to be strong enough to deal with it.
I have smoked SO much heroin with that guy over the years it was quite bizarre to know he had some, the dealer was parked there probably expecting/wanting me to hop in, and I had no desire to use/"get on"with him etc etc

A few weeks ago my reactions would have been the opposite. Which is a reminder of what I can be like. So I was proud of myself and surprised myself that i found myself in a totally unexpected situation and didn't have to battle to resist, control any urges to use - I had none, It felt weird, but really good and I felt quite proud of myself! A feeling using/addiction never gives you!!!!! On n up people!

Absolutely awesome Red.

What a huge step that is for you. Massive pat on the back man

Cheers chasing, finished work at 9pm last night on my way to 6am bikram class before another hectic day at work! Keeping busy sure helps! How are you going! It's raining non stop here in Sydney and cold! The temperature more than halved on Monday! I had to put a jumper on yesterday it was so cold (17 degrees) - unheard of In the middle of summer!

I'm good, really getting into this super healthy eating s**t. Dosing up on green juices as opposed to white powder sure makes you feel fantastic!

Feel like we've all come a long way, which is a great feeling isn't it.

You sound super focused Red. How's the company going? Did any of your employees know about your drug use?

Yes it's a great feeling :-)

I run a recruitment company, everyone knows I was a caner on the uppers. No one knew I was on the hammer.

It's not socially acceptable the way the devils dandruff is! Secrets, lies, awful, makes me feel sick to the pit of my stomach how I've behaved/lived as an addict.

40 days clean off the H now :-)

Red - I've never posted, but have been following your story for a little while now. I've had a pretty serious addiction to opiates for 4 years or so and about 6 months ago I took some time off work to get clean. I made it 2 momths before I relapsed and moved from OCs to H. 31 days ago - I quit cold turkey. Unable to take off again - I had to go to work everyday and just deal with it. Honestly, it was one of the hardest things I've done in my life. I work in finance, so things get hectic. Happy to report - I am 31 says clean today and I wanted to thank you for posting your progress, etc. Actually, I want to thank everyone here at SR. Got me through some tough days. PAWs can be a b*tch, but its doable. Have to start exercising a little as that helps a ton. Finally eating and sleeping normally - the aches haven't left 100% yet. Getting clean is really doable and even though its scary/tough - the end result is worth it. I am sure many other people are using these forums for support and not posting too, if so, keep at it!

Hey jmag thanks for posting and sharing - keep up the good work - heroins a swine of a drug to kick so well done on 31 days!
Pleased someone's got some use out of my babbling inanities !

Hey Red, we have all done things of which we are deeply ashamed. Yeah I guess H is viewed as even lower down the food chain than coke, but our behaviours are the same. As a mum, I'm deeply ashamed that I've used drugs whilst in the sole care of my children. What if I'd had a heart attack or stroke? I try not to give these thoughts any power now as I'm doing my best to come clean, and i have made the choice to put everything else first now. That's all we can do!
40 days is a m a z i n g!!!

jmag- great on posting, most of us have been serial lurkers before we've plucked up the courage to post. Good for you.