alwaysthere4u

my nephew is on heroine and he lives in AK and I"m in AL. He's tried to call me numerous of times asking me for money and I tell him no. My sister says NOT TO LET HIM USE ME. He is in the hospital now but threatening to leave if I don't send him the money. He said he will just pan handle if he has to. I just don't know what to do!

Popeye2014

If you give him money, what do you think he would do with it? Does he have anyone in AK ,that you could talk to them about the situation?

alwaysthere4u

no one and i know the money would go to drugs

alwaysthere4u

last night he called 2x collect and then his friend called wanting me to call him. he said he needs money for food - i said no because he is in the hospital and they are feeding him

Popeye2014

I'm sure someone at SR could share their experience with you, on this subject.

Hang in there, help is on the way!

alwaysthere4u

everyone tells me it's his choice. I talked to him last night telling him that he needs to stay there and get help. the nurse said that if he leaves, he will not be able to go to the rehab center that they are already getting him ready for. he said he wants to go to a shelter but needs cab fare. i still said no.

Popeye2014

Maybe the nurse can talk him into the rehab center

alwaysthere4u

she said she would and see. when i talked to him last he was mumbling and not making sense. all i can do is pray for him.

alwaysthere4u

Excuse me but what is SR? I am new to this. A good friend told me about this site.

Popeye2014

Also, if he thinks he will get money, I'm sure he would leave.

Popeye2014

Sober Recovery.com

alwaysthere4u

no doubt on that. and he will not be getting money from me. if he tries to call his grandmother who is 87 years old. she will not either because i am her care taker (my mother).

alwaysthere4u

ok that you.

alwaysthere4u

well - just called the hospital - he left and i have no clue where he is....it was his choice....

Popeye2014

I'm sorry to hear that. just hope and pray things will turn out ok. you have done a lot so far. people have to make their own choices.

I wish more people could access SR for help. If he calls you, let us know. how can we help you ? I noticed you joined SR in 2010. with just 10 posts.

There are forums for what you are going through. SR friends will send you to the right place, to read and understand the situation .

Don't be a stranger, post often. That's what the site is for. "support"

Marcus

Never give an addict in active addiction money. Tell him you can send him a care package with some canned goods if you truly feel he is that desperate for food, but you know where the money is going to go. Then if something bad happens you have that on your conscience too. Hang in there!!!

alwaysthere4u

Yes I joined in 10' but things were going good but when he was living with my sister she was dealing with it so much.

With everyone's help here - I am sure I will be able to adjust to this and cope with this both mentally and spiritually - thank you!

liv1ce

Realize that most addicts either are or learn to be skilled manipulators. An active addict cares little for others except if they are an avenue to get more drugs. Listen or not but don't act. Good advice for you here so far.

Dee74

Hi alwaysthere4u

I'm glad you're not giving money. It's not your job to bail this kid out - it's his.

have you thought about support for yourself - something like NarAnon?

D

Aysha

He would have left anyway...And as you see he did. There are food pantries for food...most hospitals will have free bus passes..there are buses for transportation and if he were going from the hospital to rehab, rehabs usually come get you. At least in my experience.
Sounds mean but theres nothing you can do for him. So let him do what he has to if he chooses to get high and same goes for if hes ready to get clean. Love from a distance and take care of yourself. never make this your problem.
Because us addicts are masters at making people think that.
Worst thing to do is enable an addict. My life story and what kept me using. What reason is there to ever change if theres always someone else bailng you out.
Good luck