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starting my detox tomorrow

Old 10-02-2014, 08:55 AM
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starting my detox tomorrow

Hello, everyone! I am new to sober recovery, and I am here because I am an opiate addict going on 3 years now. My DOC is oxycodone and hydrocodone. I've also smoked heroin before, only because I couldn't find any pills. I've tried to detox many many times, and have always relapsed just a few days in. Except for a few months ago, I made it to 11 days clean. I relapsed that time because I had my wisdom teeth removed. I thought I could manage my addiction, and take only what I needed to help with pain. I did get a dry socket from smoking like an idiot lol. Because I got a dry socket, I was given 50 norco 7.5s, that eventually turned into a personal party. I know it gets better after about 5-6 days for me, at least I felt great at that point the last time I tried this. I've thought about subs, but decided not to do that because I want my body to heal naturally. I've tried kratom to help with withdrawals, but that made me extremely sick. It didn't help at all lol, that stuff is just as bad! when I stopped the kratom, the withdrawals were there, and as bad as when I stopped taking oxycodone. I've accepted that I have to "pay the piper" (I read that in some other forum, and it made me laugh). I'm trying to go into this with a positive attitude. I'd love to hear from any one of you who've made it through, and can help me stay positive. It's very hard, and to be honest, I am scared s#itless to go through this again. Thank you for taking the time to read this!
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Old 10-02-2014, 06:55 PM
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Hi yoyo! Welcome to SR. I'm a an opiate addict in recovery. Sick around....post often...we are here for you! So tomorrow is day one?
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Old 10-02-2014, 07:00 PM
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how about joining AA or NA? Helped me dramatically, I tried for 10 plus years but wasn't able to gather more then a few months. I couldn't do it alone, the disease is too big for me to handle by myself. Proud of you for writing. It gets better.
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Old 10-02-2014, 07:14 PM
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Ive been using this site for 6 days now and posting everyday just to get sh*t off my chest. SR is great for support and advice. I was a drunk though, so i cant help with the pill detox. Not sure if thats a similar withdrawal or not. Either way, glad youve made the choice and I hope to see your posts.
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Old 10-03-2014, 12:49 AM
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Hey I too am trying to detox I am glad you are doing it the natural way I have asked a bunch of people and not trying to give any medical advice but the consensus was that it's better to just ride it out I have been through withdrawls a million times I usually just have some Imodium ad again not recommending just saying what I do and completely occupy myself and just try to watch movies or try to ignore it! Good luck post on here if it helps
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Old 10-03-2014, 08:21 AM
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Thanks, everyone. My last dose was at like 4 pm yesterday, and I'm definitely feeling it. I know the worst has yet to come, so im not very excited right now. I guess this counts as day one (again). I just have to remind myself that this will pass, and I'll feel better in a few days. I'll probably come here 2 or 3 times a day to talk about it, and I'll look into an NA meeting to attend. I've been avoiding this because nobody likes to detox, it's complete hell, but this will be the last time. Right now I'm going to go soak in a hot bath with Epsom salt, and try to drink tons of water.
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Old 10-03-2014, 09:16 AM
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In the same boat. We can do this. Can't wait to start feeling normal again. This is hellish no matter how you do it but there's no way around it, must walk through it. One day at a time.
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Old 10-03-2014, 09:26 AM
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Welcome yoyo!

It's great that you're here and hopefully it will help

There's one thing that's maybe for sure : you have to be willing to do whatever it takes for you to stay clean.

Good luck and your always cared about on this site
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Old 10-03-2014, 11:53 AM
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It's really hard to not think about it. Cravings are all up in my face, and I'm feeling pretty down as of right now. I know I have to keep telling myself that it will go away. The first 3 days are the hardest for me. I know I can't give in right now, and I happen to know that there won't be anything available next week anyways. By that time I should feel pretty good, not completely through this, but a lot better compared to right now.
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Old 10-03-2014, 12:38 PM
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This sounds ridicules, and horrible.. I had a mental breakdown today, and broke an old plastic tote in my kitchen, and it shattered everywhere. I did that in front of my daughter's. The look on there face was enough to make me break down and cry. I had to have there mom pick them up after that. Unfortunately, I have to go through this while being a full time dad. I'm not saying that I don't want them around, I love them more than anything in this entire world. They don't understand why I'm feeling like this, they just think it's another regular day. I hope they don't think I'm a bad guy after that mess, I didn't mean to scare them.
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Old 10-03-2014, 02:10 PM
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Sorry to hear that. When I used to detox off H I had to go to a hotel. #1 I didn't want my kids or wife seeing me like that. #2 3 kids running around going crazy made the detox more difficult. #3 My wife especially Did Not Want to see me in that condition.

Yes it is kind of selfish and I thank God my wife stuck with me although maybe her leaving would have got me to my bottom sooner who knows. Anyway I am sure your detox is not going to be as bad as mine were, but just a thought.

Keep your head up! Good Luck!!!
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Old 10-03-2014, 03:26 PM
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Thank you. I had a rough morning, it was a few different things that upset me, and this situation didn't help. I'm not trying to offend anyone, but I heard heroin detox was the worst. I'm not sure, I've only smoked it a few times. I can't imagine it being any worse than this right now, and I know it gets worse for me later.
Thanks for helping me stay positive, you guys!
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Old 10-03-2014, 04:00 PM
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No detox is fun and a lot of it depends on your mindset going in. Yes with Heroin withdrawals I couldn't even get out of bed I was hurting so bad. I would wake up vomiting on myself. Arms and legs were on fire. It felt like I was being turned inside out and roasted over the fire. UNFORTUNATELY that was not enough to scare me not to do it again. Coming off a high dose of Methadone is probably the worst as far as opiates go, but heard plenty of benzo withdrawal stories that sounded quite scary. It seems like some people like to tell withdrawal stories and how theirs was worse kind of like mine is bigger than yours type of thing. In the end no withdrawal is fun, but it is just the start of things.

I am not sure how you could offend anyone with that statement. Just stay positive and stay committed. Do not allow yourself to think maybe I should just take one or two because in that frame of mind you will talk yourself into it. The best is to cut off access to it and then just tough it out. It will be over before you know it. Try to sleep as much as possible. The anxiety always got to me. Best of luck to you! You can do this!!!
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Old 10-04-2014, 04:54 PM
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How are you doing yoyo?
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Old 10-04-2014, 09:51 PM
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I'm doing okay right now, but it's been pretty rough. Very emotional I guess. I'm not very motivated to do much as of right now. I'm going to try to get some sleep. Thank you guys for staying positive with me..
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Old 10-05-2014, 02:00 AM
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You've got bigger balls than most! I've tried and tried to do a CT detox and I failed miserably every time. I use Subs. The dosing of Subs starting about 18 hours from my last use goes like this. 4mg first dose...4mg and hour later...24 hours later I take 6mg...24 hours later I take 6mg...24 hours later I take 4mg...24 hours later 4 mg...24 hours later 2mg...finally 24 hours later 2mg. Then DONE.
I always feel crappy for 2 weeks after stopping the Subs...but then life is good again!

Sending you strength, love, forgiveness (forgive you), and happiness.
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Old 10-05-2014, 09:09 AM
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Did any of you ever feel like you would get a panic attack when you knew you were about to run out of pills(or whatever your DOC was), and there was no way to get anything for a few days? I know it's weird, but I feel relieved right now knowing that I don't have to worry about that. Being forced into detox every week because I had no money, or there was nothing available caused me to get depressed. I'm not saying I feel better already. I actually still feel pretty bad today, but knowing that I'm taking back control of my life is motivating me to keep going. I don't want to have to worry about tomorrow's fix ever again. Just trying to think positive, and it's helping.. thanks for helping me stay positive with kind words, everyone. That helps me right now more than anything.
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Old 10-05-2014, 01:42 PM
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Hey Yoyo, I have gone through a few different CT detoxes (opiates were my DOC) and it's never a picnic but just keep in mind it WILL get better. Your brain chemistry is trying to recover after getting all those false signals from the drug all these years. Consequently in addition to the physical withdrawals there's always the mental stuff - which is possibly tougher. Hang in there, you can do it. Try to keep yourself busy once you get past the worst of the physical stuff.

I see you mentioned kratom withdrawals being tough. I try to educate people on that because I just went through a terrible experience with the same. Honestly it was worse than kicking pills. Not enough people realize how powerful that stuff is.
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Old 10-05-2014, 02:41 PM
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Originally Posted by yoyobyebye88 View Post
Did any of you ever feel like you would get a panic attack when you knew you were about to run out of pills(or whatever your DOC was), and there was no way to get anything for a few days?
Are you kidding? Of course. It felt like the world was going to end when I was about to run out. Back in my pill days and the pill counting and when I started getting low basically laying out how many I was going to be able to take and of course I ALWAYS took more than planned. My mind swirling thinking how can I get more? Do I know anyone who might have some? Then once I was doing H and my guy said he was out for a few days OR wasn't answering his phone. The using life is absolutely HORRIBLE! There is non-stop panic and feeling of impending doom. So you are right on! Just think of how much easier your life will be without that garbage? You are on your way my friend. Hang on it will be a bumpy ride and lots of ups and downs, but in the end it is the best decision you have ever made!!!
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Old 10-05-2014, 10:52 PM
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Hi yybb88: What you've been describing is something most of us have experienced coming off the opiates! I've always made sure I used more than I was supposed to so I'd purposely run out early if I was planning on getting off the pain meds. Never could detox any other way but the CT way!

Be cautious about taking anything with stimulants in it in the beginning! Such as coffee if you drink it! The caffeine will send you into a whirl wind! Have cans of soup around for eating. I also use the slimfast powder to mix in milk for meals. My appetite just wasn't there in the beginning. But we have to eat to help us feel better!

I started my detox 91 days ago! Haven't touched the pills since then! You will feel so much better after you get off the stuff! It's just hard to imagine it now in the early stages of w/d's and detoxing!

TOD
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