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Lillieintherain 08-07-2014 04:34 AM

Withdrawl...Again
 
Hey! Day 2 without any norco 10's. Was back up to almost 7 a day. I was doing great with recovery until my husband had a heart attack and had emergency surgery and a family member was in a horrible accident and I just fell off the wagon! I feel like a horrible mother and wife that I couldn't deal with the stress without drugs. I would feel okay if these cold/hot sweats would go away and the guilt I feel would just ease up. I feel like such a failure. My daughter will go to school soon and I've spent most of her child years on pain killers. I just need to be sober. Any support would be helpful. And when do the cold sweats go away? I can't remember.

finaltime 08-07-2014 04:47 AM

drink lots of water. Can you get to an AA or NA meeting? Trying to do this alone is not easy, hang in there. YOu are doing the right thing by admitting you need help. I tried to do it alone for 10 plus years, all to always fail and the guilt is soooo hard.

I am also a mother. hang in there.

holly11 08-07-2014 05:07 AM

I am 18 days clean of opiates. I too had horrible chills, lasted a week for me. My daughter is 3 and a half, and I to feel guilt for being addicted to pills most of her life. I try to use her for my motivation to stay clean. I also have not smoked pot or ciggs in 18 days. I don't want my daughter to smell like a ciggarett, have memories of me smoking a joint, or resent me for being high throughout her child hood. I resented my own mother most of my life, I want to break the cycle. I have signed up for college and qualified for pell grants. My goal is to get my life together so my daughter has a good role model and a good start at success. Good luck, you got this!

TiredEnough 08-07-2014 05:21 AM

Drink plenty of fluids and get sweaty through exercise or just being in the sun. It really helps.

Lillieintherain 08-07-2014 05:24 AM

Thanks everyone!!! My husband used to be on pain killers and he helped me to recover last time but I've hid it from him this time due to his heart attack and not wanting to stress him out. I've been drinking a lot of water, taking a lot of Pepto, and Tylenol. I haven't since I began this process. I can't even look at my husband or child without bursting into tears. I just want to feel better so I can enjoy my family. On painkillers I literally sat around smoking one cigarette after another, did very little cleaning, had no emotion. Before drugs I had a ton of energy, cleaned my house every day. I always thought I had energy on norco but I didn't do anything.

TiredEnough 08-07-2014 05:29 AM


Originally Posted by Lillieintherain (Post 4826160)
On painkillers I literally sat around smoking one cigarette after another, did very little cleaning, had no emotion. Before drugs I had a ton of energy, cleaned my house every day. I always thought I had energy on norco but I didn't do anything.

Exactly! Same here:)

Lillieintherain 08-08-2014 05:09 AM

Hello Everyone! Once again I did not sleep. I made the mistake of taking NyQuil in hopes of some rest, but woke up after 15 minutes with my skin on FIRE!!! My chills are almost gone, but I had forgotten how bad the anxiety really is. I have been having MAJOR panic attacks, crying at the drop of a hat, and pretty much an emotional disaster. I still have that desire to go get a pill to end all the emotional drama, but I know it's not fair to myself or my family, hell, I've made it through the worst of it anyways! I am an hour from that 72 hour mark! I can already feel some of my natural energy coming back to me. I haven't been able to eat though, which I know is slowing down my recovery. Did painkillers make anyone else GAIN weight? It did me. Anyways, just wanted to check in. Keep me in your thoughts! One day at a time!

holly11 08-08-2014 05:38 AM

I have gained wait on roxys in the past, but over the last year of mainstreaming diladid I have become emaciated. I am 18 days clean, and now realize the pills zapped all my energy as well. Your story of sitting and chain smoking was me last month. I am also 18 days no ciggs. You can do this, just take it one day at a time. :)

SoberandGlad 08-08-2014 02:53 PM

You should find something else that eases your nerves other than pain killers. Listen to some soothing music, take a short walk, read a book, or whatever makes you feel better that is healthy for you. I hope you can do it!

Ashamedof 08-08-2014 04:43 PM

I gained weight on oxy! You retain water and you're constipated which can't be good for our bodies. When I'm clean, after the initial hell of withdrawal? I look so much better!! The bloat goes away, I drop 15 pounds, energy creeps back in and why do I relapse? That's a question I can't answer but I just started subs and today is day 1, so far, so good. I know it's not for everyone but I think it's a great detox tool. I sure hope you can stay strong!! You're almost past the worst of it, hold on a little longer and the cloud will start to lift.

Lillieintherain 08-09-2014 07:19 AM

Hey Everyone! My last pill was Tuesday and I'm proud to say I am still SOBER! Yesterday was very difficult. I knew I could get a pill and the anxiety felt like my chest was ripped in two pieces, but I made it through it without using. Once again only 2 hours of sleep last night and then woke up sweating with a MAJOR panic attack! I'm praying that sleep comes back to me soon. The anxiety is the worst I've ever had, but I refuse to take anything just to feel normal. I ended up texting my mother at 3am and going to her home to sit on the porch just to get the anxiety to calm down. I can feel some energy coming back but I haven't been able to eat so I'm very weak and lightheaded. I'm looking foward to the day I can look back and say I've been sober for a month, then a year. Please pray for me with the anxiety part of this. I will admit that I'm not strong emotionally and after my husband almost died I'm very emotional and fearful of losing people. Thank you for everyone's support! It gets me through these difficult days!


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