Your opinion?
 

Hi, my boyfriend is 26 and he's a heroin addict. He's been trying to quit, at first on his own and then in an outpatient program. We don't live in the same town so he was living with me for two months while in outpatient therapy. He did great, he loved going to meetings, everything seemed to get better.
After almost 2 months it was time for him to go home and I decided to go with him and stay for 2 or 3 weeks. He lives with his parents and siblings and they are all loving and supportive but I wanted to be there for him too.
The first day we got there, he went and got high. I found out about it two days later after he did it again. This was the first time he lied to me. He said that he was too embarrassed to tell me. Also he was crying like a baby saying he was sorry and every time I ask why he did it he would say he doesn't know. Today he slept the whole day so his mom asked me if he took something so I told her everything and we talked and tried to figure out what he could do. She said she thinks that he should go to in patient and I agree but when I asked him about it he said "that's not happening, I'm not getting locked up, that's not gonna help me, I'm only gonna get psychotic." I don't want to push him, because this might not be the right thing for him, but how do I know? Do you think in patient therapy could have a bad effect on him? I know everyone is different but I'm asking for your opinion and what you can tell me from your own experience.

In patient helped me a great deal. Opiates get inside your head in addition to the very unpleasant physical addiction. For many, if not all of us, a cycle of pleasure/pain/fear and repeat gets learned and ingrained so that the prospect of letting go of our abusive drug gets terrifying. Surrendering to a secure (lock in) in patient takes away the back door to run get our drug when it gets miserable and hard. And it does get miserable and hard. That said, treatment medications like Suboxone can make the transition more doable.

suboxone has it's own set of problems. it's the same addiction, different substance. heard about a new pain killer that's supposed to be a problem because it does not have tylenol as an ingredient. it's just swapping one horse for another.

This is so sad. I do think the next step is a 90 day inpatient program followed by a transitional housing for 3-6 months...

To me, it sounds like he needs that structure. Him thinking he will only get psychotic could or could not be a legitimate fear. I won't speculate what I think is really going on but I do know that the alternative is continuing to use and we all know the risks there... especially with heroin.

Best of luck to you and him. Prayers for you both.

True enough Az, there is no magic wand for the process. Suboxone on a 7 day use and taper made the withdrawals and mental component less severe for me. Everyone is different of course.

Thank you all for your replies. I'm gonna talk to him and try to make him realize that inpatient can help him a lot. I just wanted him to do what he thinks is best for him but I don't think he can think straight and make that decision for himself.

Tica - the problem is that you can't push him whether or not it is the right thing to do. The whole world could think that it is the right thing for him to do, but it wouldn't matter unless he thought it was the right thing to do. You can obviously talk to him and see what he is thinking about it, but he has to want to do it or it will all be a futile effort.

Where is he getting the funds for his habit?

I have never been to inpatient, but I find it difficult to imagine a scenario where actually going to inpatient would be harmful. It may harm other aspects of people's lives (e.g. losing one's job / family once they find out) depending on their specific situation. As far as him going psycho after getting "locked up" I have to admit that I kind of laughed to myself when I read that. They will have some "medications" that they can administer that will clear that aggression up right away. I wonder what his plans are if he gets locked up in jail one of these days. He can try going psycho on the other inmates and see how that works out.

I do think inpatient is a good idea. Whatever he is trying isn't working right now.

He's prescribed suboxone and xanax so he used to sell them and get the money that way. He doesn't do that anymore but there are people who own him money from the past, so he goes to them when he wants something.

Btw, thanks for your reply, I find it really helpful. He has nothing to lose if he goes to inpatient, I think the only problem is that he's scared. I think he needs to do some research and see that that's the only way to go at this point.