melinda907

The thing is, I live in my parents house but they have no idea I've been smoking meth for the past couple months and they can't know. My friends they are addicted too. I'm the only one trying to quit right now, not going to ask them to sober with me because I feel like we'd feed off eachother's feelings and agree to do it "maybe just one more time" or some ****.. For 2 years I did meth everyday. The only way I got out of that was I got pregnant and I personally would not do drugs while pregnant, plus the father encouraged me, wouldn't even let me smoke cigarettes. And it wasn't that difficult to quit that I remember of... I was sober almost a year 1/2. Started doing it again mainly to lose the baby weight but more truthfully the man I'm in love with would come around more.. he avoids me when I'm sober because he's not.. I've loved this man over 2 years, I can't get over him but I want to. If I cut him out of my life maybe he'll change his ways but I fear he'll drift further to where the best part of him will be lost to the drug.. he has changed. I want to get sober so I can better help him. Need to quit for my baby daughter also. I'm not loving her like I should for both reasons the drug and the man who has my heart. If I could have my heart back, god damn it, I wouldn't get distracted I wouldn't get frustrated and I'd enjoy the baby 100% more. I could talk for hours but going to refrain since I'm currently not sober this all might not even make sense. Really I want to get sober but what if I have no support, when what I really need is support. That's why I'm here (this site) but really it's safe to bet that this is the hardest thing I'll ever have to do... Advice please even if you know things like detoxing, what I can do to speed up the feeling better physically... And things I can remind myself of when I'm feeling tempted. Thank you for reading my rant if you did.

sister12

Just think about your beautiful baby and think about yourself 5 years from now. I would reach out to someone because that seems like the hardest thing to do alone, especially if the man you love is a user too. Your parents love you and there are one on one sources that will help you and keep you accountable. praying for you!

cleaninLI

Melinda how do you feel when you come down from meth? Think about that feeling! Is doing meth worth feeling like that? Just think you would never have to feel like that again! Think about where you would be lets say a year from now or 5, 10 years from now if you continue to do meth. What would your life be like? What would your child's life be like? Is meth worth it? You took a giant step, today! You came here on SR and asked for help! That's huge! Why don't you decide that tomorrow you will stay clean from meth? Can you do that? Stay with us! We are here for you!

SoberandGlad

Melinda,

You should seek some help. See a doctor. Find someone who specializes in treating drug addiction. Also, you might want to look into a support group. It sounds like you are having difficulties staying sober. I hope that you can do it. Pray to God to help you along the way. Stay away from your using friends and anything that reminds you of using drugs. Make new friends and keep posting on this site. The people are very helpful here.

Stilltrecking

What i am going to say may seem counter intuitive but please take it seriously. I don't know your parents, but i know mine. Mine are extremely strict, if they knew i did meth or something of that nature they would be furious. The thing is, they would be initially furious, but i know that if i came to them in a place of need, admitting that i had a problem and i needed help and they were the only ones that could give me some outside help, they would be there. They would without a doubt in mind be there to get me whatever support or help they could. You are so young, you could live through the initial shock of coming clean and in two years when your happy and sober and living a fantastic life you can look back on your decision to get help. Your child is young too, get help now so you don't let these years slip away. This could be the beginning of the rest of your life

Drummer

Best decision I ever made was telling my mother and wife that I needed help. Such a MASSIVE relief, and they helped get me into the right doctor/treatment plan.

finaltime

yes when I first got sober I had to tell my x. I had too. I needed help during withdrawals, I needed to cry, I needed meetings, I couldn't do it alone, I tried to clean up on my own without telling anyone many times but never was successful. Coming out and being honest is okay, you are sick. It's okay.

Fluttering

Melinda it sounds like you are feeling lost and alone and not feeling like you can do this just for you

Fact of the matter is from my expereince that is where I had to begin..to know I had to do it for me and me alone, not to save anyone else, not to save the house, the relationship, nothing else.
You may not feel it right now and I know I do not know you and you do not know me...yet in my heart of hearts I know you truly are worth it to do this for you and my sincere desire is that you do.

And I know you will not be doing it alone you will have a host of people that you have yet to meet standing with you encouraging you, loving you, celebrating you and every step you take on this journey.

The road is broad, roomy and all inclusive and there is room for you no matter how far down you have gone, no matter what you have done or what you are feeling there is HOPE and there is a SOLUTION and above all there is LOVE on this journey of recovery

danyalcormier

You HAVE TO STAY AWAY FROM THE PEOPLE that are STILL ABUSING DRUGS. That was the hardest part for me. But now I see the difference. Ive only been sober and clean 21 days. They may be your friends and if they really truely are they will understand you have to walk away and not see or speak to them. Be strong for you little girl. She needs you more then drugs or friends do

ex D-Boy

This needed to be said again. Most of us will never have a shot at getting clean on our own (thats not being pessimistic...it just rarely works). I came from the opposite end of the addiction spectrum (strictly heroin) and tried countless times on my own to get clean. A few times I actually beat the physical withdrawal, only to cave weeks later because of mental cravings.

When I did come clean to my family, they were devastated and heartbroken (natural responses) but then came the support, warmth, and love. That was a huge tool in maintaing my sobriety. Without it, who knows where I would be today.

The first step is to be honest with those around you about your problems. Its an essential first step IMO.

and now I realize this thread is from a long time ago...smh. Still good advice for the lurkers so I will leave it up :\

OxyMaddened

Melinda,
Even if you feel you'll have no direct support at home (and you'll never know unless you come clean to them, literally and figuratively), you'll find plenty here.

Now, a couple things you need to understand implicitely. The first is, you need to get clean, first and foremost for YOU. YOU have to want it more than anything. Only then can you become the mother your daughter needs so badly.

Next, see the text I put in bold face. You absolutely can NOT help your meth addicted "man you love." HE HAS TO WANT IT FOR HIMSELF. Many of us on here, in addition to facing our own addiction issues, have been co-dependent upon a significant other who was also an alcoholic or addict. I guarantee that everyone in that position also found you cannot "help" them quit unless they absolutely wanted to and made an 100% commitment. You can drive yourself crazy trying to help and all it will do is make you increasingly miserable, and possibly trigger relapsing.

Take the steps you need to do for yourself. Don't associate with ANYONE still using....and with perserverance, everything else will take care of itself, especially being a proper Mother to your Daughter.

LRH99801

The girl who made this post is my daughters mother. The guy she is talking about isn't me. let me fill you in on rest of the story.

When our daughter turned one she got into Meth again. She told me she was worried.. she didn't care anymore about her daughter, about life. Only meth and the games she could play with the guys that came with it.. I'm by no means perfect but having been a dealer and addict myself in our youth I chose to stay sober for my daughters sake. Try as I may to help her I refused to see she was already gone, turned back into a shadow of the person I once loved more than life itself. It didn't take long before she couldn't be trusted around our daughter. For the last few years I've been raising our little girl alone In a small Alaskan town, she is still with this guy and has made no effort to see her daughter in years or to get sober I tell our daughter her mom chose not to be here anymore, That's good enough for now. But I'd do it all again without a second thought. For our daughter and for the stronger and jaded man I am now because of her. 

Dee74

I'm sorry for what brings you here, but you'll find a lot of support,

I recommend you start your own thread tho, either in this forum or our family and friends forums .

I hope the OP (original poster) will find her way back here one day, and if she does there'll be support for her here as well

D