teapot

HI, everyone. just joined yesterday. i will make my story short but i need to say some details so you know where i am. 39yrs old and never had a drug problem. married, father of 2 young ones. full time job. just regular joe. i barely even had a beer maybe once a month. anyways person on cell phone ran a stop sign and blew into me. ruptured l4 l5 and s1. in cleveland clinic care for 4 mth outpatient. in those 4 mths i was put on pain killers. after realeased they put me right down the hall to their pain managment clinic. so i go and for another 4 mths on stronger pain killers. got tired of driving up there so i switched to a pain doctor locally. he immediately increased my dose. so now its 3 months of him and i am convinced he is a total quack. i here him causing out patients. he swears in the hallway. i forgot my bottle once and he said quote, forget your bottle again and im kicking your ****** ass outta here. im not making this up. so i decided im not going back to this guy. so i decided to stop the meds and see how my back reacted. dont laugh but i had no idea about withdrawal. didnt even know i was dependent. well after a day he hit me hard. i was like what the heck. i served in the Marine Corps and that was the roughest crap ever. i was able to hack most of it but my legs wouldnt stop kicking. i mean 9 hours staight. so i gave in and got back on the pills and went back to the quack. i really feel like i was just some poor schmuck who wasnt on any drugs at all that got in an accident and now here i am in hell. i am sick of these pills. i feel guilty taken em. i need to take em to get out of bed. my kids are 6 and 3. i am currently on 240 percocet 10mg and 180 roxicodone 15mg per month. i dont know what im even looking for here but i have to start somewhere and figure out how to get outta this. also have i permenently damaged my brain to produce happiness in the future if i ever get clean. thanks everyone for any response. truly

82S

Hey welcome! Nobody would take those stuff if he knew that he was going to get addicted. You have not permanently damaged your brain. Your not a hardcore diehard drug addict, you are someone who where using a substance sensibly to ease pain. That is not enough to cause brain damage so dont worry. Whell thats the good news. Tha bad news are that you have to face the withdrawals one way or another and you should educate yourself about what to expect in the near future. The hard part is the first week or so. Later on maybe some anxiety and uneasy feelings maybe and then you are home free. But it could take months so dont be impatient and dont panic. My 2 cent

82S

Some good tips are:
Eat good and healthy
Sleep whenever you can
Drink A LOT of water to flush toxins
Take as many hot baths as possible
Do some stretching and exercise
And keep posting and learning

teapot

thanks for the reply. i cant tell you what reading those words did. i have been hitting the net hard today. pretty much watching withdrawal videos on youtube. man day 2 to 4 looks like total hell. i have a friend at work who has been on suboxone for 5 years. he mentioned that anytime i wanted some he could give a 5 day supply. he said if i take that i will decrease my withdrawals greatly. then on day 6 stop suboxone and i will be home free. it cant be that easy right??

deeker

Hey friend I am a recovering alkie and addict. I know where you are coming from. I went into a detox facility for 7 days and they made me more comfortable than detoxing on my own. I don't know how severe your addiction is. I know I have a mental obsession besides the physical obsession. I go to NA regularly and and am working the steps with a sponsor. I would call your local hospital and see if there is a detox facility near you. Once you get off them maybe you can decide for yourself if you need further help as in NA.

82S

Its different for different people, Sometimes worse sometimes better, you cant really tell. I personally never took suboxone or know anything about it. Someone who did may inform you. I prefer natural, I wouldnt take a med to fight a med so... I could be wrong. Give some time and you will get some replies and you will get the point. Just dont take anyones advice as granted, not mine either. Everyone is different there is not a standart procedure or a magic formula that works on anybody.

Billeth

You are like me when I first dropped the benzos. I was grabbing at straws looking for an easy solution.
truth is everyone is different and wd in different ways and level of discomfort.
Seriously, make an appointment with a doctor and follow their guidance.
No one here knows how your own body and mind will react to WD symptoms. You may have a hurdle or 10 or you may have it fairly light..........see your doc

sophiamarie2007

No you haven't forever damaged your brain-it just feels like it when withdrawl hits. I had been taking pain pills for about a year when I first realized that I was sick without them. I tried that first weekend to get clean..and after two days gave in and was amazed at how much better I felt after a pill or two.-That was in 2000...Fastforward to 2011...My addiction got much worse over the decade..I thought I would be a lifer-on pills until they killed me or on methadone or subs..I finally went cold turkey. I was sick for a month or so (but my addiction was much longer than yours)-But gradually, I started feeling well again. Every month I stayed clean I felt better. I also have school age children that I have to take care of, so it wasn't easy. After a year of being clean, I feel wonderful! I can't believe I wasted so many years of my life on those pills. Don't be like me and wake up decades later and realize that you have missed out on life.-You can do this!

OxyMaddened

Hi Teapot,

Hey, don't despair....certainly you were blindsided by not even realizing initially that the level of meds you got on caused the physical dependency. But the good news is, you recognize now that's it's an issue you WANT TO address. Now, like others have said, the realization of knowing you'll have to go through withdrawal can be really daunting and scary. It probably won't do you any good to keep watching the videos...everyone is different, and yes, it's a good bet they'll be some hell involved. But it's not something you'll ever have to repeat unless you stay on 'em indefinitely.

The worst for me wasn't the chills, sweats, vomiting, etc. It was time just crawling during the worse of it....I couldn't sleep for more than 5 minutes at a time. Luckily I didn't have the leg issues.

Many folks here found it next to impossible to taper down from their peak dosing amounts. But perhaps, since you ARE motivated, never took these as a recreational pursuit, etc., you can start there. Some can. If you currently are taking 6 of the 15mg/day, maybe you can start by just adding an hour to the time frame between doses. Maybe later cut each on in half...little, incremental changes. If the changes are mild enough perhaps you will successfully be able to taper down and not have really severe W/D symptoms during Detox.

But by ANY means, you need to get the f*ck away from that so-called "Doctor." What a Quack, indeed! HE sounds like an addict to me, with the abusive attitudes he displays!

Can you go back to a different clinic or another Doctor that actually understands what the oath, "first do no harm" really means?

The most important step is that you DO want to change and you are motivated and understand this isn't a healthy way to live. Because nobody can make you stop if you aren't motivated to!

We know you can do this. It's just a matter of trying to find the best way, which isn't necessarily going to be the easiest way. I'm sure you'll know it will be worth it though.

You sound focused and strong despite what's going on. Keep up the good attitude!

teapot

Thanks all and oxymadden. Yea my doc is worthless. I have come to realize that he just wants me for money. I never abused. Since i have spent the last 2 days on internet i have learned a lot about this. I have never snorted or smoked it. My wife is backing me 100% with this. She had a good idea i would like to pass onto you to see if it would help. Since i have 240 perc 10mg a month, i can just stop taking the 15mg all together. Since thst is stronger and instant relief. Then a month from now w/d from the 10mg ones. Would that lessen w/d at all. And anyone here of that suboxone thing i was talking about earlier. Woukd that 5 day supply thing from my friend work??. Thanks

OxyMaddened

Teapot,

I'm sorry that your Doctor is so unhelpful. However, it seems I unintentionally erred in my last post with the suggestion about possibly tapering. We are strictly prohibited from attempting to give medical advice. Perhaps there is a "Advice Nurse" helpline in your local or county heath department that might be able to give you better information.

I do know from speaking to others, hearing their experiences and reading other information readily available on the 'net that some of the compounded drugs containing either aspirin or tylenol, in addition to the straight oxycodone can have possible negative side effects. Again, unless you speak to a medical professional to know what kind of daily limitations for the other compounds they can warn you about, you probably should not assume one is more or less harmful than the other. I'm sorry I cannot comment further but again, I have no medical training.

It's very nice your wife is so supportive. I was very fortunate to have a really supportive boyfriend so that's another part of the battle you have going for you.

Just remember, everyone responds a bit different to the effects of Detox so even if one person took the exact same amount for the same period doesn't mean their Detox will be any worse, or any less difficult. I liken it to when, on my vintage 2-stroke motorcycle forums, we are suggesting how to "jet" the carbs for new intakes and high performance pipes. One bike may have the same exact equipment but still need smaller or larger pilot & main jets to run properly! Each bike -- and each body -- is unique!

I think in time you'll be able to figure out whether some type of tapering schedule might work for you, or whether just going "Cold Turkey" will be the answer.

I'm sorry I can't help further. I really think your local health department will have some kind of assistance and suggestions regarding your current dosing and plan for quitting. There are certainly enough people nationwide with these issues that I'd be surprised if you can't find any help in that regard.

Good luck!

teapot

Thanks for the reply. Still discussing it with my wife. First i need a week off work so i dont even know when i can do this. I have 2 weeks vacation but we have to use it when the company shuts down in the summer. But the family is going to florida so thats out. So first i gotta get the time. Im going to try the suboxone thing first to see if that works but that sounds to easy. I mean everyone would do sub for 5 days while your detoxing from the percs and roxicodone. If that doesnt work im going to taper 20mg less until my body stabilizes at that level and then again. I am currently at 60 mg of percocet a day and 90mg of roxicodone a day. Ive done a lot of reading last couple of days and it looks like im right in the middle. A lot of people detoxing from 60mg a day and a lot from over 200mg a day. Then a smaller amount coming off 300 plus. I would like to get down to 10 a day then quit. This would take 8 weeks. Ugh. Thats 8 weeks of not feeling great. Not w/d feeling but not great. Last night i saw this detox that they put u out for 72 hours and when u wake up your weak but w/d physical is over. Thats a long time to be out though. Anyways reading a lot of posts on here. I see u said cant give advice but i see it all over the place. I think its how u word it. But i really wish a moderator ir someone would pm me on that suboxone my friend has that i can get would work. From what i understand a doc is going to have me on suboxone for months then i have to w/d from that. So the drug companies got me good on the way in and now that im wise and want done with this they get me on another drug on the way out. They get u on both ends. I just want to use the sub just for the 4-7 days of the hardest physical w/d and then stop. He says it will work for sure. He said he wished that he knew that when he got off his drugs. He was on suboxone for 9 months before his doc started to get him off. He said the suboxone w/d are worse than oxy w/d. I know now from this forum that everyone is different. So for now is to get time off work. Im sick of these damn pills i want off now. I might have to fake a back injury or something to gi on sick leave for a couple of weeks. I know thats abusing the system but its either that or wait for christmas. Ugh

82S

Ok listen to this. You are worried about 8 weeks of not feeling great. And I wonder? Are you really up for this? Dont be fooled. Physical withdrawals is the easy part! Do you know what post acute withdrawal syndrome or PAWS is? well that is the hard part. You will most probably not feel great for some time one way or another. My advice is that you do not "try" different things on your own that you found over the internet and exhaust yourself. You need to be focused for this. Find a good doctor to help you and do it as naturally as possible.

read this: Why We Don’t Get Better Immediately: Post-acute Withdrawal Syndrome (PAWS) | What…Me Sober?

vegibean

teapot, welcome and first off, I work in a treatment center, and we have a lot of clients that come in stating the same thing, I feel for them. It's like you got duped into being an addict.

You'll get lot's of support here as I'm sure you have already noted. Welcome to SR!!

Zalula

I am using suboxone to get off opiates under a Dr. supervision. I would not suggest taking your friend's for 5 days. FIrst, you need to already be experiencing withdrawals before taking suboxone (it can make you very sick if you are not in withdrawal and you take it). And second, to use it properly, you will need to take it for longer than 5 days IMHO. I have been on it for 2 months now and am going to taper off it starting next month. I don't know if only being on it 5 days will make you experience withdrawals from the suboxone once you stop, but it may.

Just my advice.. I wish you well!

crackerboy

Actually, short-term detox with Suboxone works very well. However, it should be longer than five days, and you should be monitored by a physician who is familiar with the procedure.

It is quite safe to take Suboxone orally when you still have drugs in your system. That's the whole point. The Naloxone portion of the formula is to prevent you from injecting it. Naloxone breaks down in the stomach, while the buprenorphine remains to counteract the withdrawal.

teapot

82S, i have no idea what paws is. I will read that link for. I really dont know if im up for this either. I mean im actually pissed at the pills but i can also remember with great clarity what withdrawal felt like. I just couldnt hack the restless leg thing. I will get back to you after i read your link. Thanks

missingmyself

Teapot- I don't have a whole hell of a lot to add besides welcome and good luck! I must say that I agree with you about your dr. The amount of meds he has you on is insane!!! I have fibromyalgia and recently injured my foot, it got infected, spent several days in hospital, several surgeries, huge hole in my foot and tendons exposed, on pain pump and meds increased considerably when I got out, blah blah blah. Anyways, I ended up taking more than I needed, liked the feeling too much. So congrats on not ever taking the stuff for funsies. So the point is this. I need the stuff for legitimate pain....or so I thought. I actually hurt more on the stuff and I'm not even quite two weeks clean. Sure I have to take a decent amount of motrin during the day but my mind is clear! You don't even realize how out of it you are while you're on the stuff. I can't make suggestions to you as far as how to "taper" or whether to just jump off (which is what I did). All I can say is us your internet access to your advantage. Read as much as you can about other's experiences, consult a dr. (a different one!!!) if you feel the need, and make your decision about your approach based on what you think you can tolerate. It's gonna be one hell of a ride. And even after you feel like you've had you're a## kicked by the initial withdrawal symptoms there will most definitely be PAWS. So research that and prepare yourselves. But there are good days and bad. Normal ppl have that too right??? But first and foremost Congratulations on realizing that this is an issue. And best of luck with facing this demon head on. And THANK YOU!!!! for your service. Army vet here and Air Force wife. I sincerely appreciate the sacrifices you have made for this country. And I'm sorry that you find yourself in this predicament. Above all else keep posting here. You will find the best support here. God Bless!

Tiredofdrugs

Teapot: Welcome to SR! :ghug3

I was introduced to Loratabs in 1985 by my parents doctor I saw for the first time. I was freshly out of Army Basic Training and AIT - had just moved back to AR from SC. I was going thru a divorce and had a five year old daughter. I don't remember the initial reason I went to see the doctor, but after we talked. He diagnosed me with being depressed. So he prescribed a high dose pain med for me to take in order to feel better. LOL Oh I felt better alright. Got addicted to those things BIG TIME! After several months I started writing in the blank refill area a number 3 for refills. Needless to say. I did get caught. I was actually working prior to this at the AR State Police office. So I turned myself in when I got the call. They kept my arrest very hush hush and tried to keep me under the radar. What a F'ing joke that turned out to be.

When I was booked into the jail. Low and behold. There was a police officer inside the jail that was an A-hole. He didn't think he did anything wrong and was a lady killer. NOT! So when I was brought in to be locked up? He had a field day with me. He couldn't find enough bad things to say about me. And he took my purse - in front of about seven police officers - he dumped it out. I just wanted to melt into the floor. But then he did something that made me REALLY angry. There was a wrapped Tampon in my purse also. It had been in my purse forever. So the wrapper had a small tear where it is supposed to be opened at. This A-hole took it and snidely remarked. Maybe she has pills inside this thing. As he was laughing, awa the others. He pulled the damned Tampon out of the wrapper and then out of the plastic. I was LIVID! After this little show of FUN! He turned to a female he out ranked and told her to book ME and to put everything back into my purse and put it into a bag as my belongings. Then he sauntered out of the building. His rank in the ARNG was 1st LT. I don't know what his rank was in the Police Department.

I stayed in the holding cell for about five hours. And to top it off. The other females in the jail cell with me thought I was an undercover cop!!! OH MY!

The next day. I got a call from my mom. She wanted to know what I got arrested for? It was in the paper!!!! Her neighbor called and told her about it. Well the cats out of the bag now. So I talked to her for awhile and then I got ready and went to meet with a woman that was signing me up for a 30 day rehab stint. I got signed up and left that evening. I spent 30 days in rehab and came out a new person.

Then! Four months later. My ARNG unit was activated for Desert Storm. So I had to get released from my Probation Officer and had to go before the judge. The judge dismissed my case since I was serving my country. The PO had made a deal with me to get one of the Rotty puppies due any day as payment. He wanted a female puppy. And I'm dead serious here. The dog I bred my male Rotty too. Only had ONE puppy. And it was a female. And since I got "pick of the litter"? The puppy was mine. So I gave the puppy to my PO and my unit left the following week.

We went to Ft Sill, OK to support the AD soldiers in processing the soldiers going over seas. This AD service is how I became a Veteran. After putting 22 years in. I was medically discharged. I filed for disability and was awarded 100% two years later. So I'm actually a retired soldier awa a 100% DAV. So thank you and the other soldiers on here for serving along with me.

I met a Drill SGT from WI while I was at Ft Sill. I had divorced my 2nd husband while I was at Ft Sill also. So when I was released from AD I moved to WI with him. He turned out to be a Dr. J and Mr. H! So after leaving him. I met my 3rd husband to be. We got married and eventually moved back to AR. This marriage turned into me being abused, physically and verbally. I literally dove head first into a bottle of pain meds. I lived in that bottle until I made the decision several years later to get myself off of them.

It took a battle of 45 days to get back to some normalcy. I don't EVER want to go thru one of those detoxes again. And I've been thru many of them. But after the 45 days of HELL! I started living again. I started getting the house cleaned up again. Got the yard work done. Got stacks of mail depleted and just started doing things I had stopped doing. It felt so good to be FREE again. I had hoped our marriage would get better with me being better. That was not the case. It got worse. My XH started controlling me even more.

So I made the decision to get the hell out of there. During this time. I was reintroduced to my husband now. That's another story all in itself. I actually typed it up because it's such a WOW story.

I eventually moved in here. I've had one injury/surgery after another since moving in here. And of course the pain meds went along with those. So I've CT'ed time and time again off of them. There are several meds I use to get thru the w/d's and detoxing. I'll tell you what they are later on. I'm running out of time here. You aren't in need of them now anyway!

But like OM stated. I'm the one with the Chinese Silkie Chickens. They look like my Avatar. I also post on the Animal Planet. I posted the French Fry story last night that she's referring too. There is life outside of the drugs. A person just has to walk out of their messed up world and greet it.

BTW: Jethro, my husband, is all into guns and trains. LOL He was just talking earlier this evening about the train sets he has around here that he'd like to be able to set up and use. I personally have a Ruger .22 rifle and an AR-15. I just recently bought a .22 pistol when I got my carrying permit too. We are very safe with our firearms and don't have young children around. Unless you consider our little ppl in feathered suits. LOL

Take care and keep on posting!!
Tired of Drugs (TOD)

Tiredofdrugs

Teapot: Here's Lil Punkin - aka the French Fry girl! It's a little dark due to she's on her sleeping rug on her stand beside daddy. She also has a window view of the backyard.



TOD