Jim14

All right I started smoking weed in the summer of 02. It started off once or twice a week...then it went to every other day..then to every day..now its sometimes twice a day. I don't want to smoke anymore so I threw all my **** away on Thursday and didn't smoke for a few days but yesterday night i did again. I went into Thursday when I threw my stuff out saying...alright ill cut down..once a week...but that isnt going to work. Im really committed now in stopping. The thing that is so hard is that over the past year I made it a routine almost...I would always smoke when my parents went to sleep at around 11pm. When i didn't smoke between Thursday and Sunday i noticed it was EXTREMELY hard to fall asleep. I have had nothing come out from smoking...I used to be one of the best drives...by far the best outta my friends and now I noticed that im not as good as I used to..(I used to be a perfect driver)..now i cross the line once and awhile or little things like that. My work ethic has dropped at an alarming rate over the past 6 months..im never in the mood to study barley or do any HW. I know I must quit because since I was 5 I knew what i was going to be when i grew up...a police officer...most counties say that you must be weed free 3 years prior to enrollment ... well im a freshman in college now and enrollment for me would be in about 3 years and a few months..so there is no questions asked..i must quit. I also wanted to become a volunteer firefighter in my town but I know i cant until im clean and my drug test would come back clean. All this weed ive been smoking has left me thinking back on the past 2 years..and i can hardly remember a thing. Its like i wasted 2 years of my life. Well that is my story I thought I would just tell it. Im committed to stopping and changing my life around starting 2day..no matter how hard it becomes.

dotcom

welcome jim,

my name is dot and im an addict, doc crystal meth. that is great that you have made a commitment to stop smoking weed. i can relate about waiting for the parents to go to sleep then using.. before i accepted i was an addict, i thought i was just smoking crystal because it was a way for me to do my own thing. parents didnt know about it, kind of like my own "thing" i suppose. i was never into sports or group activities, so i found drinking and drugging to be just what i needed! something i could "control". although, there is no way i can control my use of crystal. i am not an alcoholic, but abstain from alcohol because it is a drug.

your goals to be a police officer and volunteer fireman rock! that is awesome! i can understand that when you look back on the last 2 years you see all the crap and it can get depressing. when i start looking back at all the crap, i try to remember all the cool goals i have set for myself. they sort of keep me afloat when i dwell on the past. just tell yourself that, "just for today i will not smoke" and sooner than you know it, you will find that things are improving and you will take more and more steps towards reaching your goals!

there is a program called "MA" maryjane anonymous that you may find helpful. it is the same as NA and AA, just for chronic pot smokers! do you have any close sober friends, family who you could share what your going through with? that really helps. anyone to keep you accountable?

well, welcome again and stick around! there is a lot of support and encouragement here!

hugs,

dot

mackat

hi jim
was hashish addict before i switched to coke then to booze then to pot and back to booze and then to opium and then back to booze....at our NA meetings in the Rockies we have a lot of pot addicts- i encourage you to hit a variety of meetings, get honest, ask for help [hee hee, i am laughing at myself handing this advice out like its just the easiest thiing in the world to do!! i was frozen solid thru many of my first meetings!] Anyway, i have many friends recovering from your DOC , you are not alone!
mackat

wishIsedNO

Alotta people think weed aint a drug....They say it aint addictive...and harmless...But i dont agree...I started smokin when i was 15..and at first i did it like once a month...but that summer..I just got totally into it..Smoked like a chimney...I ended up getting bored quickly and moved on to other drugs..Until i found heroin..and stayed on that for 7 yrs..I even became one of those people i just talked about..When i would hear somone in the rooms saying they were addict to weed id smirk and say yea rite..I wish i only had a weed problem...But now that im in recovery and i really looked at myself and how it all began...It began with a simple puff on a pipe full of weed...And i know for a fact if i didnt smoke it i really dont believe i would of gotten into all the other drugs...Once you get high on weed it lessens the fear of getting high..You say to yourself it aint that bad...And i can still have a normal life...You start to believe that everyone smokes pot or at least did..Hey even our president did..
But i write to you to say...Keep on with your recovery...Dont let people belittle you...Pot smoking is just as bad as anything else..and can ruin your life too...I think you know this..But i want you to keep on and dont beat yourself up if you relapse..Cause that will keep yourself down..If you fall bounce back up..dusts yourself off and dive rite back into recovery..Learn from your past but dont live in it..Live in the moment...dont overwhelm yourself, alotta times us addicts when we first get clean we wanna catch up..do everything we missed out on...But that sets us up for failure...Cause no one can do all that in a few months..Take one thing at a time...Im sure you will do great..You have found a wonderful place where you will find alotta people like you and willing to help you through...I wish you the best...Jackie

Jim14

Thanks wish, mac and dot. I thought it was time for an update...even thought i wish i could get myself to update all the time....anywho this is what happened recently...
I was doing alright until that day came....4/20..I just couldnt say no...so i smoked..after i stopped again..i havnt smoked since then. This has been the longest not smoking for maybe...8 months? But i dont even know if i should count Friday and Saturday because i was sick then..and i never smoke when im sick because obviously i dont feel good enough to. Well yesterday night I have the STRANGEST dreams...for the past few nights POT is ALWAYS so way invloved sumwhere in my dream..it was in my whole dream almost on friday and saturday and it seems so real. I woke up and wanted to smoke so bad but since i didnt have any i didnt. This evening i started thinking about smoking so much that i even called my dealer...thankfully he is dry..or else i know I would have smoked tonight. I dont know what to do..i know come tomorrow im just going to call him again...or he will call me..when I wake up ill prob feel all proud of myself for going so long being clean but i know ill start to think about it again durning the day..i dont want to smoke tomorrow but it will run through my head all day..please help me out. I really hate this feeling.

Jim14

BTW I have 2 take a drug test for something (not really important if i pass or not..cept the fact that my PARENTS will know) on thursday..so now i have to cough of over $100 on things that will make my test come up clean...which i dont even know if those things will work or not. (MJ stays in ur body for 3 months for users like me) Just thought i throw that in.

mackat

what worked for me and lots of other potheads was NA- i have a fren in recovery who now is the dispatcher/deputy sheriff!!!! he was smokin/drinkin/ridin bro from a wa-a-ay back. Took me almost dying from a bike accident-[it was the cage had the accident, i just was in th way]to get him in the program. He has 7 yrs clean n sober, i have 8. You are not alone in this. this forum is a great beginning. keep coming back
mackat

Jim14

Alright i did it...I did NOT get high tonight.....after thinking yesterday night i was going to...tomorrow is another day though.

Toby2k2

nice 1 m8 keep at it..........
Toby............x

mackat

how's it going jim?- just thinkin of ya...
macakt