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Changing Old Habits.

Old 01-01-2013, 04:39 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
All it takes is one try.
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Lightbulb Changing Old Habits.

So I had kind of a life changing experience if you will the other day that I felt I needed to get down here on SR.

First off, as some of you might know, or maybe you don't... I quit using Marijuana a little over a month ago. I am now over the "acute" part and onto the "stay clean" part

Well I just thought I'd share some tips/knowledge here that I have recently aquired along my journey for anyone who is or was going through the same things as me.

So I'll begin here:
The other day I got to really look at myself from an outside view for a change and see what was really going on. I'm not gonna say how this happened, but the whole experience, or opportunity, was a blessing for me in more ways than one..
I was showed my wrongs this time around and the problems that had kept occuring the last time I tried to stay clean from Marijuana as well.

One of the problems was that I wasn't changing my old habits nor was I willing to. And this exact same thing was happening all over again this time.

I guess the last time I tried to quit I figured it would be a cake walk once I got past that "acute" part, probably because of the stigma attached to Weed I guess.. and that I didn't need to change or do anything different or "hard". I wasn't keeping busy and I wasn't finding new, exciting things to do.

You see I have all of these things that have already been done over and over, and instead of trying to find new things to occupy my new foudn time with, I ususally just went back to the old things (taking the easy way out if you will)... For example, things like watching TV re-runs over and over until I drove myself silly, reading the same books, or sitting around in my room full of boredom and negativity a lot of the time, and not trully exploring what's out there and experiencing new things and such for. And this exact same pattern happened over and over and over, and was occuring all over again this time as well (the difference is I cought myself doing it a little over a month in, and not before it was too late like last time I attempted to get clean).

Well one of the problems here is, you can only do these things so much, and I had already done those things more than you can imagine during my last attempt at quitting Marijauna, which lasted a bit longer than 378 days. So as you can probably tell, all of these things had become extremely old for me and were not helping my sobriety or overall mood and outlook on life one bit.

So I was given the gift of beiin shown that I was now doing those exact same things all over again this time around as well, and basically told that a relapse is bound to happen sooner or later if I don't straighten these things up. See nothing had changed, and "if nothing changes, than nothign changes". It was basically ike i was running in circles. A circle that would harm my very core.

I also realised how lazy I had become and how I haven't been committing to much except sleeping through the day (because of how bored I had become of those old habits and things). I guess I was in a way taking the easiest route I could find, instead of "really" trying to do stuff that I hadn't done before, like build new bridges and expand my horizons.. But nothing good ever comes easy now does it?

So the other day I was pretty much told that I seriously NEED to change my ways, otherwise the same thing is going to keep happening and a relapse is bound to occur sometime or another. And deep down I know that I really do not want that to happen again... Now that I know what it leads to each and every time, my desire to stay clean is stronger than before... "Practice makes perfect" if you will.

One of the main things us addicts need to make sure to do is keep ourselves busy and entertained, and not just sit around. Because sitting around all by your lonesome self and letting that addict attack you when your at your weak moments can lead to negative thing like moping or feeling sorry for yourself etc.(for example).

Once I started to see these things, I trully started to realise that my addict had been playing a part in all of this for a while. See, he didn't want thigns to change. He may have made it seem like it was me who was doing these things, but he was secretly in there influencing my actions and playing a part in it all without me even realising it for the longest time, all in an attempt to try and get myself to relapse once again. See that's the addicts job.

And you see there's only so much boredom and negative energy that a person can take before they snap and totally lose it.
And this is the exact same thing that happened to me the last time I tried to maintain a sober life without Pot, until eventually I did snap.

So I guess the moral is really, if I really wanna stay sober, which I seriously do, than I need to actually change my ways, and I mean SERIOUSLY change my ways. I need to build a whole new way of living, of doing things, and of thinking.

I need to be in a positive zone in order for me to not feel that desire or need to self medicate myself out of the negative zone that can take place during any time. Because you see, there's only so much pain a person can take before they start to believe that they need to erase it or fog up their memory of the last year (for example) with a drug like Pot.

But the thing is knowing is the first step to changing. Because now that I know these things and have written them down here for me to see, now I can actually always be on my gaurd and watch for that addict, because as many of you know this staying clean thing is a full time job.. and the serious one's who make it out and stay clean are the one's who fully commit to it and are willing to do whatever it takes (no matter how hard it may seem at first). And I'm sure this goes with not only Marijuana but other drugs as well.

And I do want to stay clean this time around.

The life of a full-time Pot head just ain't worth all the BS you get thrown for having that daily puff(s), and the fact is, it never will be worth it.
"For every action there is a reaction".

So I figured I'd write this down so it's somewhere for me to look at if I start to forget and mold back to my old ways and self, and maybe this can help some of you in recovery to, if any of you are experiencing or relating to the same things I wrote about above.

Todays the first day of a new year and now I feel like it's time for me to put these words into action, actually make it a new year, and create a new kind of life for myself.

Noone can expect to stay clean if they take the easy way out and don't change their old habits. That's just how the cookie crumbles. And as you all know deep down I'm sure, "staying clean is the hard part".

So I guess I'll leave it at that.

Shalom. And Happy new years all!
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Old 01-01-2013, 05:56 AM
  # 2 (permalink)  
All it takes is one try.
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Join Date: Dec 2012
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And just like you would take it one step at a time with recovery, I think it would be best to not overdue it, not over-preasure yourself, and just start with changing maybe one or two bad habits at a time (for exmaple).

Because for a lot of us, getting rid of ALL of our bad habits all at once is an unrealistic goal... But the thing is, we can always choose to start somewhere, rather than nowhere, correct?

So inclosing my friends, "baby steps".

"Take it one day at a time".

Lets make it a good year everyone!!
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Old 01-01-2013, 02:18 PM
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good post JSN - thanks

yeah the putting down the booze or the pot or whatever was just the tip of the iceberg really...that got me sober, but to stay sober I needed to make some pretty sweeping lifestyle changes because my old life was pretty much geared exclusively to getting high.

Intent is great, but actions more important I think...

and I'm an all or nothing guy so I stopped everything at once...may not work for everyone, but it worked for me

D
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