I thought weed quit together
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I thought weed quit together
Hello everyone. I am new here and having a hard time finding a thread that fits.
My AH and I were introduced by mutual friends because "you both do that stuff". When we got together we had both been smoking pot for years. We never took a vacation where we had to fly, we always drove so we could smoke and bring our baggies with us.
When we decided we wanted a family, we had a long discussion - many many long discussions that when kids came along, we were not going to be "that kind of parents". We would quit the drugs because it would be time to grow up, and let the kids be the kids.
When we discovered I was pregnant, I quit. I quit almost cold turkey after 10 years of daily use. He did not. In fact, he continued to smoke in front of me, and offer the joints to me. THis made my resolve stronger actually.
I know I should have stood my ground and not had any more children unless he quit. How hard it is . .. to believe things will not change. I quit, why couldn't he?
Just before the birth of our second child he ended up with pneumonia that went septic. He was on a ventilator in ICU and the doctors told me if the new antibiotics didn't work in the next 4 hours . . well I should be prepared.
They did kick in, and he spent 2 weeks in hospital recovering, and a further month at home on an IV pump. In the hospital he refused the patch, and obviously wasn't smokeing. For several months afterwards he stayed sober.
What a relief! He was happy, he wasn't ruled by when he could get his next joint, the kids and I didn't have to wait every time we got in or out of the car for him to have a cigarette, and we wern'te being left at home every night while he went out to get high with his friends.
Soon though, he started coughing a lot when he took the dogs outside, he started snoring again, and he started disappearing in the evenings.
4 years and another child later, we are at a breaking point. It has gotten to the point where he is on meds for a mood disorder, probably having a lot to do with his addiction. He is miserable and flips out at nothing at all. He yells and screams over stupid things, he lies and uses all sorts of excuses not to help out around the house.
This weekend was horrible. I spent a good deal of it crying. my children were making me pictures and they organized a parade with their little musical toys all to cheer me up. I felt like the WORST mother in the world for bringing them into this situation, for not getting them out of it. ...
Then yesterday AH says he hasn't had a joint since Friday. He doesn't want to smoke anymore. He has had a horrible headache all weekend, and he is grumpy and awfull to be around.
I don't know what to do. I can't take it anymore, but I don't want to kick him out. Will he stay quit? Once I set my mind to something, it's set, but not him. I love him with all my heart and I want to do what I can to help him. I'm so lost.
I used to say "It's always 4:20 somewhere in the world" but now I know time moves on and you CAN get to 4:21 if you put your mind to it.
Is it possible to get through this? How can I get my kids safely through this and my AH? I know no one can make you quit. He really seems to want to quit though - what's my role?
My AH and I were introduced by mutual friends because "you both do that stuff". When we got together we had both been smoking pot for years. We never took a vacation where we had to fly, we always drove so we could smoke and bring our baggies with us.
When we decided we wanted a family, we had a long discussion - many many long discussions that when kids came along, we were not going to be "that kind of parents". We would quit the drugs because it would be time to grow up, and let the kids be the kids.
When we discovered I was pregnant, I quit. I quit almost cold turkey after 10 years of daily use. He did not. In fact, he continued to smoke in front of me, and offer the joints to me. THis made my resolve stronger actually.
I know I should have stood my ground and not had any more children unless he quit. How hard it is . .. to believe things will not change. I quit, why couldn't he?
Just before the birth of our second child he ended up with pneumonia that went septic. He was on a ventilator in ICU and the doctors told me if the new antibiotics didn't work in the next 4 hours . . well I should be prepared.
They did kick in, and he spent 2 weeks in hospital recovering, and a further month at home on an IV pump. In the hospital he refused the patch, and obviously wasn't smokeing. For several months afterwards he stayed sober.
What a relief! He was happy, he wasn't ruled by when he could get his next joint, the kids and I didn't have to wait every time we got in or out of the car for him to have a cigarette, and we wern'te being left at home every night while he went out to get high with his friends.
Soon though, he started coughing a lot when he took the dogs outside, he started snoring again, and he started disappearing in the evenings.
4 years and another child later, we are at a breaking point. It has gotten to the point where he is on meds for a mood disorder, probably having a lot to do with his addiction. He is miserable and flips out at nothing at all. He yells and screams over stupid things, he lies and uses all sorts of excuses not to help out around the house.
This weekend was horrible. I spent a good deal of it crying. my children were making me pictures and they organized a parade with their little musical toys all to cheer me up. I felt like the WORST mother in the world for bringing them into this situation, for not getting them out of it. ...
Then yesterday AH says he hasn't had a joint since Friday. He doesn't want to smoke anymore. He has had a horrible headache all weekend, and he is grumpy and awfull to be around.
I don't know what to do. I can't take it anymore, but I don't want to kick him out. Will he stay quit? Once I set my mind to something, it's set, but not him. I love him with all my heart and I want to do what I can to help him. I'm so lost.
I used to say "It's always 4:20 somewhere in the world" but now I know time moves on and you CAN get to 4:21 if you put your mind to it.
Is it possible to get through this? How can I get my kids safely through this and my AH? I know no one can make you quit. He really seems to want to quit though - what's my role?
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Join Date: Sep 2012
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Hello 4:21,
I'm new here too. I am a 40 year old recovering pothead, 69 days clean. I can relate to a lot of your post, preferring driving vacations, it's 4:20 somewhere, and sneaking away to have a smoke.
I go to na. I have also attended al-anon meetings, to try to find peace with myself and my relationship with an addict in my family. I learned that I can't really affect whether the addict in my family uses or not. Nagging, bargaining, trying to punish him by withholding love or contact hasn't worked for me. I know that I can't get him to quit, so I try to find serenity in my own life and respond to him in a way that gives me peace.
I know you love and support your husband, but taking care of yourself and your kids are a good priority, in my opinion. I also believe that addicts are selfish, by nature (myself included). It's good to have support, maybe 12-step groups would be helpful to you and him. It's not for everyone, but I like that these meetings remind me that I'm not alone. There is a lot of wisdom in those rooms.
If your husband can stay clean, I think his grumpiness may subside over time. I'm no expert (except in getting high), and I probably should not be giving advice with my limited clean time and knowledge, but these are my opinions and experience.
And don't be too hard on yourself, this is a difficult situation and it sounds like you are taking steps to help yourself and your kids and staying safe, and facing some difficult issues.
I'm new here too. I am a 40 year old recovering pothead, 69 days clean. I can relate to a lot of your post, preferring driving vacations, it's 4:20 somewhere, and sneaking away to have a smoke.
I go to na. I have also attended al-anon meetings, to try to find peace with myself and my relationship with an addict in my family. I learned that I can't really affect whether the addict in my family uses or not. Nagging, bargaining, trying to punish him by withholding love or contact hasn't worked for me. I know that I can't get him to quit, so I try to find serenity in my own life and respond to him in a way that gives me peace.
I know you love and support your husband, but taking care of yourself and your kids are a good priority, in my opinion. I also believe that addicts are selfish, by nature (myself included). It's good to have support, maybe 12-step groups would be helpful to you and him. It's not for everyone, but I like that these meetings remind me that I'm not alone. There is a lot of wisdom in those rooms.
If your husband can stay clean, I think his grumpiness may subside over time. I'm no expert (except in getting high), and I probably should not be giving advice with my limited clean time and knowledge, but these are my opinions and experience.
And don't be too hard on yourself, this is a difficult situation and it sounds like you are taking steps to help yourself and your kids and staying safe, and facing some difficult issues.
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I know I can't change him. I don'T know if I could or should take any drastic measures to change my situation. He is not violent, but he is emotionally abusive. There are no meetings close to where we live, and I have no way of getting around without him since I can't drive and there is no public transportation. I never believe pot was addictive until I started reading here. I thought it was a habbit and nothing more. Now I know it is much more.
From time to time I have wondered, based on something his friend said to me, if he is chewing oxies. He can be so moody . .. and he was keeping something hidden in the house, always going through the basement to leave the house when he was going to meet his buddies. I don't know if just pot can make him so moody, and so panicky to get out of the house in the evenings.
From time to time I have wondered, based on something his friend said to me, if he is chewing oxies. He can be so moody . .. and he was keeping something hidden in the house, always going through the basement to leave the house when he was going to meet his buddies. I don't know if just pot can make him so moody, and so panicky to get out of the house in the evenings.
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All I can say is I am so glad I quit. I honestly believe it was fun while it lasted but I always had the plan that this was something I was doing while I was young and didn'T have any major responsibilities. Thank the good Lord that it worked!
I'm so unhappy that AH can't quit, and doesn'T want to. I wish there was somethinghe really wanted to do, but can't because he smokes. Maybe that would get him thinking. Even his best friend who he used to spend all his time with quit because he got a job where they do drug testing. That friend was into harder stuff than pot and managed to quit for the sake of his job and his family. Not my AH though.
I'm so unhappy that AH can't quit, and doesn'T want to. I wish there was somethinghe really wanted to do, but can't because he smokes. Maybe that would get him thinking. Even his best friend who he used to spend all his time with quit because he got a job where they do drug testing. That friend was into harder stuff than pot and managed to quit for the sake of his job and his family. Not my AH though.
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Join Date: Sep 2012
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I am proud of you for quitting, especially while being around it all the time, and proud of you for facing this difficult problem.
I had to reach a really terrible place mentally and emotionally to quit. Pot stopped working for me, it only made me feel worse, and I still continued to do it for weeks, maybe more.
Perhaps he will find something to make him want to quit. My only suggestion is make sure YOU have the support and resources you need to stay healthy and sane.
I had to reach a really terrible place mentally and emotionally to quit. Pot stopped working for me, it only made me feel worse, and I still continued to do it for weeks, maybe more.
Perhaps he will find something to make him want to quit. My only suggestion is make sure YOU have the support and resources you need to stay healthy and sane.
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Savannah Georgia
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I am no expert on use as I barely dabbled in drugs myself in college, hardly ever and never even cared for the stuff. BUT, my RAH was on cocaine for years, most of which was hidden from me. Long story. But what I unfortunately did become an expert on was the lies and deception that my husband used to keep me constantly CONFUSED. Addicts seems to thrive on chaos, or maybe its the other way around....either way, everything was always so damned complicated when he was using or trying to get out of the house to go use. The stupid things we accept (geez! how stupid i have been!!!), the BS we believe...it's ridculous. All of that to say, sounds like there could be more than just pot based on your description of his moods and attitude. Just a thought.....but IMO, drugs are usually progressive somewhat. Don;t they always end up trying out some other stuff? I guess i could be wrong. Welcome to SR! You are not alone! Thank you for posting about being responsible and putting your children first. That is always the right thing to do!
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Originally Posted by FourTwentyOne 
From time to time I have wondered, based on something his friend said to me, if he is chewing oxies. He can be so moody . .. and he was keeping something hidden in the house, always going through the basement to leave the house when he was going to meet his buddies. I don't know if just pot can make him so moody, and so panicky to get out of the house in the evenings.
Your description of him being that moody, but especially panicky, sounds more like he might be on Oxy. Having grown up in the '70s and having tried most stuff out there--which I could always take or leave--until I developed an Oxy addiction after surgery 3 years ago, well it sounds more like that than weed. Of the dozens of people I've known who do or did smoke, I've never heard of anyone having that bad of a problem with weed. I know plenty of people who are regular users who are successful, have businesses, paid off homes, etc. I realize everyone is different and any substance can be abused, but I find it difficult to believe such extreme behavior could be from (lack of) weed alone.
Also, about the coughing and snoring: while smoking anything can certainly cause both, the use of opiods like Oxy will slow your respiration and be the cause for both, especially if a regular-use tolerance develops. When enough hours go by between doses, your respiration rate starts to return to normal, and you will start coughing a lot of phlem up that accumulates while your respiration has been suppressed by the opiods.
When I was deep (150-200mg/day) into my Oxy addiction, when I would get up in the morning I would be coughing terribly, even when I hadn't smoked any weed for weeks or months (I've smoked off & on for 34 years but not much anymore). Until I either popped some Oxy, or at my worst, snorted some crushed up ones, I'd cough like hell, bringing up all kinds of fluid from my lungs.
It makes me wonder if he has been using them recreationally/intermittently for years (the pneumonia) and perhaps recently has been transitioning to daily usage?
Is there anyone in town that can help you learn how to drive so you can become more independent? I know you love this man, but you need to have a contingency plan to be able to be self sufficient and provide for your children in his absence. What would've happened had he died in the hospital?
You know you can't change his behavior, so you may have to change your circumstances. Please look into taking steps to planning for the possibility of life without him if need be.
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I don't know what I would have done if he had died. It was so close and I was about seven months pregnant with our second child.
I guess then I would have to move into the city where there is public transportation. I will never be able to drive as I have an incurable eye condition that prevents it.
I thought getting him help for his anger was the answer. I didn’t realize then it was his addiction that was the problem. After all, I smoked for years and didn’t have these sorts of problems. I didn't think weed was really that bad. I wonder if he is into Oxy. I guess it’s pretty easy to hide since there is no smell like pot.
For a long time he was hiding something in the basement, and even though I looked, and even his sister came over and looked we never found anything. I let on I knew something was up, and suddenly he was spending a lot of time in the attic storage room.
Now he is spending a lot of time at his buddy’s garage. He does spend a lot of time outside at our house too, standing where there are no windows. It is suspicious behaviour and while I am not fooled, I don’t know exactly what he is up to. Sometime I think his cigarettes smell funny, but it's not exactly like pot.
He is full of excuses. I guess I could go on all day about all the things that he does that don’t quite seem on the up and up; it's not accomplishing anything though.
I have come to the conclusion that I need to learn how to behave and how to deal with his addiction so it doesn't affect me the way it does now. I don't think I want to him to know I am getting help for his problems. I do worry too that he might somehow become aware of my posts here. What would he say? I know he doesn't think his behaviour is problem, and I know he'd not believe it had anything to do with his using, whatever he is using.
I guess then I would have to move into the city where there is public transportation. I will never be able to drive as I have an incurable eye condition that prevents it.
I thought getting him help for his anger was the answer. I didn’t realize then it was his addiction that was the problem. After all, I smoked for years and didn’t have these sorts of problems. I didn't think weed was really that bad. I wonder if he is into Oxy. I guess it’s pretty easy to hide since there is no smell like pot.
For a long time he was hiding something in the basement, and even though I looked, and even his sister came over and looked we never found anything. I let on I knew something was up, and suddenly he was spending a lot of time in the attic storage room.
Now he is spending a lot of time at his buddy’s garage. He does spend a lot of time outside at our house too, standing where there are no windows. It is suspicious behaviour and while I am not fooled, I don’t know exactly what he is up to. Sometime I think his cigarettes smell funny, but it's not exactly like pot.
He is full of excuses. I guess I could go on all day about all the things that he does that don’t quite seem on the up and up; it's not accomplishing anything though.
I have come to the conclusion that I need to learn how to behave and how to deal with his addiction so it doesn't affect me the way it does now. I don't think I want to him to know I am getting help for his problems. I do worry too that he might somehow become aware of my posts here. What would he say? I know he doesn't think his behaviour is problem, and I know he'd not believe it had anything to do with his using, whatever he is using.
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My husband was a pot smoker for 15 years-and the last five years extremely heavy (like 6 times a day)-He always worked (he drove around in his suit stoned all day, and no one knew-they were clueless)-The last couple of years he started smoking skunk and that is when the changes started taking place. He was extremely moody, emotionally abusive, had terrible night sweats-I had smoked some with him in earlier years, but just got tired of it and quit (and I am an addict and it was easy for me to quit pot-so I assumed it wasn't addictive-I only smoked for about two years)-Thier have been studies published recently showing that chronic pot smoking over 5 years (especially if its skunk, or pot with higher thc) can cause mood disturbances and you can become physically and psychologically addicted to it. In my opinion, yes he's addictive-and it can be just to pot. The outcome for my husband wasn't good-I am not even going to get into it-but your husband needs to stop for his physical and mental health.-People who knew my husband swore that he had to be on something else, but it was "only" pot
Take care of yourself and your children first.-Then you can try to help him. He has to do it for himself, but he needs to know that he is playing with fire.
Take care of yourself and your children first.-Then you can try to help him. He has to do it for himself, but he needs to know that he is playing with fire.
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I am an addict who can be hooked on anything that will get me high. I did pot and definitely was addicted. I couldn't live without it just like everything else I got addicted to over the years -alcohol, prescription drugs including oxy. I managed to stay away from cocaine and heroin as somehow I knew I couldn't go there or I would never come back. Quitting pot was hard but I don't remember being moody or obnoxious just couldn't stand not being high.
The behavior you describe sounds as if he is on something else. Pot has a definite smell as you know and if he is hiding here and there and there is no smell then it has to be something else. Hiding and lying are such profoundly classic addict behaviors and given what else you have said I don't see where it is possible that he is not doing something stronger and has progressed in his DOC.
Lots of people don't get addicted to pot. You didn't and managed to quit easily as it was just a habit. Those of us that get addicted to everything will get hooked and progress. He sounds as if he is in quite deep to me. If you have read around on these forums you will know that the statistics for getting and staying clean are abysmal.
Only you can know at this point if he is too far gone and how you would know is beyond me. It would be advisable for you to begin thinking seriously of moving your focus to protecting yourself and your children if it comes to legal issues.
The behavior you describe sounds as if he is on something else. Pot has a definite smell as you know and if he is hiding here and there and there is no smell then it has to be something else. Hiding and lying are such profoundly classic addict behaviors and given what else you have said I don't see where it is possible that he is not doing something stronger and has progressed in his DOC.
Lots of people don't get addicted to pot. You didn't and managed to quit easily as it was just a habit. Those of us that get addicted to everything will get hooked and progress. He sounds as if he is in quite deep to me. If you have read around on these forums you will know that the statistics for getting and staying clean are abysmal.
Only you can know at this point if he is too far gone and how you would know is beyond me. It would be advisable for you to begin thinking seriously of moving your focus to protecting yourself and your children if it comes to legal issues.
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I can't believe that it has been a year, and I really did nothing productive to change my situation. I tried to change my behaviour, to stop checking up on him, but it didn't work right away, so I guess I gave up.
But coming here started something. I began to understand all the things about our relationship that are actually about his addiction. I took my kids and myself out of some of the situations where he was the most likely to have outbursts of anger, I stopped making plans on the weekends and just let him go and do what he does.
While that did not make him stop, it has protected my kids from a lot of the negativity.
Baby steps - Being honest with myself:
I have come to realise that I just don't deserve this life. I have had many long heart to heart conversations with a good and true friend. He has tried to convince me just to walk away, telling me about his alcoholic parents and living with an addict and how it affected him. I know I can't let that happen to my children now.
Baby steps - Getting help:
I know I can't do this alone. I know I have to get help for myself, before I can help my children. I am going to talk to a counsellor tomorrow. I'm sure it's not going to be an instant fix. I hope it will give me some tools, and show me how to start using them. I am goign to keep coming here, reading, posting and learning.
Thanks to everyone who replied, keep them coming
But coming here started something. I began to understand all the things about our relationship that are actually about his addiction. I took my kids and myself out of some of the situations where he was the most likely to have outbursts of anger, I stopped making plans on the weekends and just let him go and do what he does.
While that did not make him stop, it has protected my kids from a lot of the negativity.
Baby steps - Being honest with myself:
I have come to realise that I just don't deserve this life. I have had many long heart to heart conversations with a good and true friend. He has tried to convince me just to walk away, telling me about his alcoholic parents and living with an addict and how it affected him. I know I can't let that happen to my children now.
Baby steps - Getting help:
I know I can't do this alone. I know I have to get help for myself, before I can help my children. I am going to talk to a counsellor tomorrow. I'm sure it's not going to be an instant fix. I hope it will give me some tools, and show me how to start using them. I am goign to keep coming here, reading, posting and learning.
Thanks to everyone who replied, keep them coming
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We are glad to see you back here fourtwentyone! I have come to realize one fact. When a person is truly ready to take that first step towards positive change in their life they will do it. Not a moment sooner. The same goes for your husband. No one can decide that for him.. So when you are ready we at SR will be here to hold your hand!
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Wow, just saw this thread re-activated and thought it was new! I love these threads where someone comes back and posts after a long absence, it's almost like those scientific studies that follow people for a long time and produce fascinating results.
Just to clarify...your husband is still smoking weed, and it's still a problem, right? And you're still clean? Sounds like it. And it sounds like you are making a good decision to talk with someone.
I'm an alcoholic and an addict, I quit booze over a year ago but it took me much later to kick the weed. I realized that marijuana was a crutch, and a pretty flimsy one at that. Quitting marijuana was not as tough on my body and mind as alcohol was, but it still produced some extreme emotional issues. I guess now I'm just rambling, trying to sort through my own situation as I digest yours.
I guess all I can say now is - congrats on taking these steps! It's probably a bit nervewracking signing up for the councilor, but it's totally the right move. And no, it's not a quick-fix, but YES, it does arm you with a toolbox full of coping skills. And that's a huge help. Good luck and I hope you keep posting here!
Just to clarify...your husband is still smoking weed, and it's still a problem, right? And you're still clean? Sounds like it. And it sounds like you are making a good decision to talk with someone.
I'm an alcoholic and an addict, I quit booze over a year ago but it took me much later to kick the weed. I realized that marijuana was a crutch, and a pretty flimsy one at that. Quitting marijuana was not as tough on my body and mind as alcohol was, but it still produced some extreme emotional issues. I guess now I'm just rambling, trying to sort through my own situation as I digest yours.
I guess all I can say now is - congrats on taking these steps! It's probably a bit nervewracking signing up for the councilor, but it's totally the right move. And no, it's not a quick-fix, but YES, it does arm you with a toolbox full of coping skills. And that's a huge help. Good luck and I hope you keep posting here!
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Still clean. In the last 7 years I have smoked I believe 3 joints, when they were going around at a fire or a show. The first two were very close to when I first quit breastfeeding my oldest, since being pregnant and later breastfeeding were the major reasons I stayed clean, and the third was probably 3 years ago. I only had one pull and realized I don't like it anymore. I don't like choking, I don't like the taste, I HATED the thought that my children were asleep and i was responsible for their lives - what if there was a fire, a medical emergency? What would happen if I had to take them to emergency and AH and I were both stoned out of our trees? NEVER AGAIN
AH is still smoking, it's still a major problem. He is on meds now to help regulate his moods, and he hasn't put his head or fist through any walls since then. he can still be too rough with the kids sometimes, maybe pushing them if they are hanging on him . . .
In the last couple of weeks I have started making plans with a good friend of mine, hanging out with him and his children together with mine and his wife when she is not working. When AH says he's going out again, I just say "I don't care" and I have caught the look on his face once or twice, that gets through to him. He stayed home 2 nights this week, went out with the kids and I last weekend and had fun without weed (because he was out and there was no money) but he had FUN, SOBER.
AH is still smoking, it's still a major problem. He is on meds now to help regulate his moods, and he hasn't put his head or fist through any walls since then. he can still be too rough with the kids sometimes, maybe pushing them if they are hanging on him . . .
In the last couple of weeks I have started making plans with a good friend of mine, hanging out with him and his children together with mine and his wife when she is not working. When AH says he's going out again, I just say "I don't care" and I have caught the look on his face once or twice, that gets through to him. He stayed home 2 nights this week, went out with the kids and I last weekend and had fun without weed (because he was out and there was no money) but he had FUN, SOBER.
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Hi 4:21!
It's great to hear from you. Baby steps sounds pretty good. Sure better than standing still or going backwards. I see a therapist and I believe she has helped me immensely.
Don't downplay the other thing you have accomplished. Staying clean. I know you said you don't like it anymore, but I still smoked after I stopped liking it. I still wasn't ready to deal with life clean, which is the real challenge for me.
It's great to hear from you. Baby steps sounds pretty good. Sure better than standing still or going backwards. I see a therapist and I believe she has helped me immensely.
Don't downplay the other thing you have accomplished. Staying clean. I know you said you don't like it anymore, but I still smoked after I stopped liking it. I still wasn't ready to deal with life clean, which is the real challenge for me.
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I had extra motivation over the course of 3 pregnancies, to stay straight. I have had a few rogue cravings but they only last a second, and then they are gone.
I never want to go back there. I don't like being ctorlled by anything.
I never want to go back there. I don't like being ctorlled by anything.
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I was also reading this post as if it was new and wondering what I might say to add something when lo and behold there I was already there. It was quite a surprise until I looked at the dates.
For myself any drastic changes have always occurred relative to a sudden epiphany that startles me into action. Just thinking I could stop or start something which was going to be hard or require any effort on my part was insufficient and became quickly unsuccessful.
Roughly 1 1/2 years ago my wonderful wife confronted me with what I thought was my little secret that had been bolstered by lying, hiding and stealing. Somehow the intense pain I was causing and the tears in her eyes clarified completely the extent of my addiction. Suddenly what I needed to do and the motivation to do it became equally obvious. I quit on the spot and have remained clean since.
I don't know why that time was so significant. I don't know why the motivation was/is so strong when the other 5,000 times it was insufficient.
If I knew how to cause such an epiphany and can the formula I would be rich and retired and I can guarantee I am neither.
Maybe your husband can find his way. I truly hope so as life is so much better.
For myself any drastic changes have always occurred relative to a sudden epiphany that startles me into action. Just thinking I could stop or start something which was going to be hard or require any effort on my part was insufficient and became quickly unsuccessful.
Roughly 1 1/2 years ago my wonderful wife confronted me with what I thought was my little secret that had been bolstered by lying, hiding and stealing. Somehow the intense pain I was causing and the tears in her eyes clarified completely the extent of my addiction. Suddenly what I needed to do and the motivation to do it became equally obvious. I quit on the spot and have remained clean since.
I don't know why that time was so significant. I don't know why the motivation was/is so strong when the other 5,000 times it was insufficient.
If I knew how to cause such an epiphany and can the formula I would be rich and retired and I can guarantee I am neither.
Maybe your husband can find his way. I truly hope so as life is so much better.
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