Signs husband started using again?
 

My husband quit using cocaine about a month ago. I know relapses are going to be a part of the process and I truly want to be supportive. I am concerned he won't tell me the truth if this happens because he won't want to disappoint me. Towards the end of his usage he started experiencing erectile dysfunction and after quitting his sex drive was extremely low. For the last two weeks or so everything seems to have gone back to normal as far as that is concerned. Last night I woke up around 2:30 and he was awake and on the computer. He came to bed and we attempted to have sex. I noticed that his body temperature was raised and although he was eventually able to get an erection, it took a long time. I asked him if he was high and he swore he was not. I truly want to believe him and the last thing I want to do is accuse him if he is clean. Could these symptoms be present a month after quitting coke?

(((SupportiveWife))) - Welcome to SR, though I'm sorry for what has brought you here. First of all, relapses are part of addiction, not recovery. Though many do relapse, not everyone does.

I'm a recovering crack addict, as well as a codependent who has loved ones who are A's (addicts). I can tell you that my gut reaction was usually right. Most A's will deny using, even if you catch them red-handed.

I understand you want to be supportive, but he needs support you can't give. We A's need the support of others who know addiction...other recovering A's (RA's).

Though crack is a form of cocaine, I can't answer your question about his performance. Had one XABF (ex addict boyfriend) who had "issues" when he was using, another that had NO problem.

I hope you read and keep posting here. I turned to drugs because I couldn't deal with an A bf, became an addict, then found SR and found out I was a raging codie (codependent). I couldn't make my XABF (ex addict boyfriend) get clean, even though we shared an addiction and I chose recovery. The great folks here have helped me keep my sanity and serenity.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

Welcome!!

I have learned that my gut feeling is usually correct.

Can you go to Naranon or Alanon? They can help you. Unfortunately you can't help your husband. He needs the help of other addicts.

Hi and welcome to SR, and thank you for your honesty. I am posting this to give you a male addicts perspective. Your partners sex life is going to be a roller-coaster ride do to brain chemistry and psyc issues.

Under perfoming is very difficult for almost all males, and this could easily lead to a relapse. I think the fact that he was up kinda late on the computer could by all means constitute old behavior, which could be a direct sign of relapse behavior but not neccisarily a relapse. We as addicts whether using or not tend to go back to old behavior because at one time or another this behavior was a comfort zone for us.

HD

I'm sorry, that is not right. Relaspe is part of active addiction, not part of the recovery process.

I wish both of you success in recovery--your's husband's recovery from addiction, and your recovery from being the spouse of an addict.

Wow is quite right. Your gut feeling is there for a reason!

I hate that word, relapse. Using is part of active addiction, not recovery. I hope you can find a naranon meeting close to you.