I want to use!
 

I need some help. I'm so stressed out which causes my back pain to be almost unbearable. I've got 2 weeks clean off Norco, but wanting to call my doctor for a refill. I really want to stay off opiates until I have major surgery in June, but right now, I just want those pills OMG.

Grades posted today, I'm a Sr. in college and got a D+ in a class that I really needed a C in. I'm not a traditional student age wise and I'm just so over it. The class was intense and the class average was a 70, but still, I'm either going to have to take it again, delaying graduation by a semester, or let it tank my GPA.

May sound trivial, but I'm so upset and frustrated. Like I said, the stress is making my pain worse and I off course am out of my meds.

Just need advice.

Thanks,
~Pandie

If you been quit 2 weeks you may want to avoid these pills if any way possible the back pain may get worse and you may need to go to the ER for so help to avoid the opiates. Hang in there you can do it.

@Pandie Sorry you're in a rut, it happens. Sorry for the pain as well. All I can say is if you're two weeks in then it's worth holding out. Stress happens everyday, you can't let it be the reason you get pushed over the edge, you control that. Even if you took something, you'd probably be unhappy that you broke the two weeks, and it really isn't going to do anything for school or your grades, so it's not going to help you anyway. You control your use, you control your grades, you can handle both. You're in school, which is more than some can say, and you're passing. If you aren't willing to handle another semester to pick up the GPA then take what you have and call it a win. I know it's hard when you have a certain goal to attain, but there are worse things to be stressed about. If you let yourself slip because of "stress-pain", then you'll never be off. Good luck and let us know how it goes.

Hang in there Pandie and don't fall for the lie that you need to use in order to cope!!! You've got two weeks already, that's awesome!!!

Thanks everyone for your kind and honest words. Anvilhead, you are so right about the whole "Living life on life's terms". I seem to keep my addictive behaviors in my back pocket and whip them out anytime things don't go the way I think they should. It's almost as if I anticipate crap going wrong so I can give myself a reason to use. Was able to abstain today and not call my doctor to ask for more pills. Still feel like crap, but I'm gonna sit with it.

Pandie, hang on sweety! Remember what I PM'ed you the other day. Find something to take your mind off it. Go for a walk, take a hot bath, find something to distract yourself. We both know that boredom will make you fiend... Be strong sweetie!

(((Hang in there Pandie)))--I understand the physical pain, I broke my arm at the elbow and tore tendons in it and have been in major pain for a few weeks. The advil does help some-Don't give in! You don't need it!-

Pandie, remember cravings only last for around 20 minutes. I'm proud of you and I know you can do this. I have been fighting for 2 days not to call my doctor. Since I got past today I know I will be fine because I leave on a trip and now can't see him beforehand.

My doctor also knows everything. If you want to be done 100%, you can always tell your doctor.

Pandie, I know pain. I myself has been in pain since Jan. When I was in rehab one of my therapist told me cravings are like a roller coaster ride and soon the ride will end. Hang in there.

Pandie, do not ever think that just calling your doctor is the right answer! The guilt, shame, and feelings that come after that, not to mention the withdrawals once again is not worth it!!! I too had a super stressful day yesterday, all day I kept thinking about how nice it would be to just pop a few pills. My stupid addict brain kept saying how I was fine now, I could take a few and be good, my back was hurting anyways, maybe I will need to just be on them for the rest of my life!!!!!! Of course I didnt go to pharmacy, and that passed. We just have to have a resource of what we do when we feel that way! Glad you made it through the day.

My first thought upon reading the title of this thread was "is that REALLY the situ?"

I used to think " I want to use" and then something inside me would pipe up, "no, what you really want is to feel differently than you feel now."

and I realized that is the reality of the situation. I don't want to use. Using never helps me, but I DO want to feel, other than I feel. So I face my situation and start working towards viable ways to address it that will end with me feeling better, without making anything worse.

Chronic pain is exhausting, and very tricky because it seems there IS a quick fix. Throw some real stress and mental pain in there and it's a tall order. Still and all, there are others ways to address the situation then digging a deeper hole and jumping in with two feet. Because the hole I would be digging is my own grave.

We all have to find our own solutions that take into account our strengths, talents, situations and options. I am confident that you will find yours.

Thanks so much everyone! I know my back pain was intense, but I really wanted those pills so I could escape EVERYTHING I was feeling. I wanted to be numb.

I made it through it, love to all of you! I'm committed to going opiate-free until my surgery on June 7th! I CAN DO THIS! Also, in thinking ahead, I am going to plan on talking with my primary care doctor after surgery about helping me to lower my dose. I've talked about this with my therapist and she thinks I should let my doc know that I do not NEED 30 pills/month every month and just tell him I have issues with it (which I believe he already knows) and that while I still need it sometimes, I will let him know when I need it. My therapist, btw, would LOVE if I never took another pill, lol. I've told her about all you peeps at SR and while she really would like to see me going to meetings, she says this is a good start :).

Thanks again all, hope everyone is having a wonderful week!!

Don't take it!

Yes meetings are fantastic! AA/NA are great pretty much the same program and materials. Just look up and read the Dr opinion in AA big book very helpful.