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Old 03-28-2012, 02:50 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Sick of being hooked on Oxy


Hi there....thanks to all the readers and posters......I see how powerful a "group" setting can be. So long story short.....been on 30 mg of oxycodone a day for 7 years.....started at 10 mgs, then 20, then 30.....and never really went higher. I am HOPING that because of the relatively small dose that my WD symptoms will not be that bad....but I think I am kidding myself and am scared shitless to stop. That being said I HAVE TO STOP. I am sick of dividing my day into 2 hour incraments where I take my little 5mg pill.....8, 10, 12, 2, 4, and 6......I hate my life revolving around these piulls and as I write this I get more frustrated. I LOVE how they make me feel and HATE it at the same time which I am sure we all relate to....

So I guess my questions are does anyone have a similar dosage/story and can you tell me what to expect? I have 15 5mg pills left and am going to either taper or say screw it and go cold turkey. Do you ever go back to normal??? I am a very fun and affable guy that is always the life of the party, witty, etc.....and I have been on these pills for so long I do not remember if I am being charming and funny or the pills! Frustrated and scared shitless. I am in sales and always have to be "on" and hope that the pills were not what made me who I am and hope/want/pray to get back to my "normal"

Any suggestions or advice would be great.....very inspired reading these posts.
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Old 03-28-2012, 04:41 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Seattle,

Consider yourself very lucky that your only on 30 mg. The fact that you managed to stay at that level for 7 years is unbelievable to me, considering the tolerance build up factor.

The first time I took a percocet I got really, really high off 15mg. Within 2 years, I was up to 400mg a day. I ended up getting clean and sober and have been for a while now. If I can do it, you can do it.

Are you prescribed these or getting them off the street?
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Old 03-28-2012, 04:49 PM   #3 (permalink)
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I can relate to being in sales and feeling like you always have to be on. I started my addiction to painkillers (and many other types of prescription pills) when I worked in the pharmaceutical industry. I felt like I sold better when I was on vicodin (that was my first addiction) I thought it made me more confident, outgoing, happy,etc. I ended up winning sales awards, when the whole time I was calling on doctors high as a kite. I thought nothing could stop me. That was in 2000-Fast forward to 2012.

I have been out of sales for several years, but my addiction had progressed to vicodin, adderrall, xanax, tramadol, klonopin and ambien. It didn't make me a better sales rep, it made me a mess and it almost killed me. I couldn't work full time because of my addiction, so I worked a couple of days a week as a substitute teacher. I couldn't imagine functioning without my pills. I got completely clean off of everything a little over 5 weeks ago. While clean I went through three sales interviews and just landed a job in medical equipment sales. I never thought I could get another sales job, especially not clean. I associated my selling skills with being high. This was validation for me, that I did have what it takes to be successful without the pills. Don't sell yourself short-you wouldn't be in the field of sales if you weren't good at that profession. Try to look beyond a few days of withdrawl and look at the big picture. I am so glad I suffered through the withdrawl to get clean. It feels good to look in the mirror and know that it is really me, not the pills talking. You can do this! I promise a few days of not feeling "on" is so worth being free of being dependent on pills to function. Keep us posted on how you are doing!!
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The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to sophiamarie2007 For This Useful Post:
istherehope999 (03-28-2012), seattleoxy (03-29-2012), steven71 (03-28-2012)
Old 03-29-2012, 06:58 PM   #4 (permalink)
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yes. Normal does come back. Day 30 was huge for me.
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Old 03-29-2012, 08:45 PM   #5 (permalink)
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You should check out treatment options... I was addicted to oxy for the last 5 years, 160mg a day I made it up to, I would never have been able to do it without treatment. Day 66 clean and I am finding my normal more every day. Life is good and it can be for you too. Good luck.
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Old 03-29-2012, 08:47 PM   #6 (permalink)
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normal does come back. my boyfriend of over 3 years is a recovering oxy user and he is 50 days sober. the pasat 50 days have been a roller coaster ride sometimes. lots of changes and mood swings that are hard to deal with but now that he is 50 days sober i see a change in him. a more positive attitude which is something i havent seen in him in years. i wonder every day if he will continue on this good path and i guess it is a day by day battle. i am very proud of my boyfriend. i have lots of confidence that you too will be back to normal one day, and who knows maybe "normal" is somethign you dont want to become. become "BETTER" then the person you once were. good luck in your recovery.
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hydrocodone , hydrocodone withdrawal , oxycodone


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