Already nervous about New Year's Eve
 

In about 30 minutes I will have made it to day 21 of sobriety for me. After 20 years of using marijuana on a daily basis, I decided to give it up (again!) and to open up my life to the possibilities of what I can be while clean: a better mom to my 4 year old boy, a better wife, and an actual "contributing member of society."

My fear is that all this will go down the toilet come New Year's Eve. I've been able to resist using despite the fact that my husband still smokes every day, but I'm worried I'll cave come day 48. We will be with a bunch of folks to celebrate and I know MJ will be around and once I smell it I'm not sure I'll be able to tough it out. I guess I could just drink instead. . . :worried:

Is it an option to not go?

Seriously. To maintain permanent 'clean' you have to change all areas of your life. At least I did. You can't control your DH's use but you don't have to go out to parties where you know the access will be abundant.

Is your DH supportive? Is he willing to stay home with you or do something without mj? If so, then missing the party shouldn't be much of a big deal.

I can tell you that removing all access and changing my friends and habits is what has helped me to stay clean.

I hope you can find something that works for you. Trust me - these seemingly little decesions add up to be a lot of big ones that keep you clean. Change is slow and takes EFFORT. It's not easy or comfortable to change your life so much.

Blessings to you this day and strength to do what is right for your recovery. You deserve it and so does your family. Your real friends would want that for you also.

Hi Mj. You remind me of my brother in law. He's been using weed daily, mostly several times a day since I've known him. It's been 30 years. He doesn't work, his marriage is in shambles but he says he can quit anytime since it's not addictive. He said he quit several times, but now I wonder. Are the wd's bad from it? I have no idea since I'm addicted to pain pills.

Thanks for responding, Cassandra and neveragain. I've been in a funk that last couple of days so I guess I'm just feeling sorry for myself.

I could bail on the party and let my husband go by himself while I stay home with our son. I doubt my friends would try to push anything on me I didn't want to do, but at this stage of sobriety I (myself) would easily give in just so I wouldn't "feel left out." Back in my college days, I used MJ as a "social lubricant" and mostly to help me feel comfortable in my own skin. That doesn't work so well for me anymore these days. I need to stop avoiding reality and deal with the ugly issues at the core of my addiction. :peek

To answer your question Cassandra, marijuana withdrawals are uncomfortable, but it's definitely not as hard as giving up cigarettes or caffeine even. These past 21 days I've experienced headaches, irritability, sleep disturbances, loss of appetite, and a bit of depression. These symptoms can last anywhere from days to months since marijuana is stored in our body fat and takes a while to flush out of our system.

Welcome to SR :)

I smoked daily for about 20 years too.

I agree if you feel you'll get drawn in by peer pressure maybe it's best to make other plans....

but NYE is over a month away...you don't really know yet how you'll feel then.

You may find you feel stronger than you currently give yourself credit for MjMagdalene :)

D

I never had a good new years eve. I'd inevitably get beaten up, fall over drunk and hurt myself, get into some huge fight because the acid didn't work, or some other intoxicated nonsense. The only NYE I have enjoyed has been with my kids watching some fireworks somewhere. Can you do something like that instead? Is putting all your hard work at risk really worth it?

Good job on 20 days
 

Congratulations on staying sober 20 days, before you know it, it'll be 200 days. Peer pressure is one of my weakness's, but, i've reunited with one brother and his family after 26 years of not speaking. I have now been to numerous functions and politely turned down beers/joints/whatever. Im 1 year 5 months sober amd 84 days off crack. For most of that time I have been hiding and running and it has worked somewhat. Although I made it, there was temptation, and Im not gonna let my guard down. Although I feel strong if I go back to using because of this reunion then I'll have to stop seeing them for the most part. The reality of all this, is that I am an addict and it is necessary that I stay sober/straight for my own well being.
I hope you have happy holidays, no matter how and where you spend them.

I don't care how "strong' you may feel on New Years Eve but you NEVER know when that trigger will raise it's ugly head.

WHY put yourself in that position if you really want to quit?

Are you ready to quit?

Are you serious?

If you are you have to change your life, especially your access to it.

Seriously please consider this. I've learned this from others on SR and it is what has kept me clean and sober

Blessings to you dear one. Blessings and strength to grow in your recovery.
Welcome to SR and keep us posted on how you are doing!

I understand how you feel Mj. For the past 12 years, I have spent Christmas with my family ( mother, sister etc) high. I needed the drugs to deal with the situation. This will be the first time that I will be sober. I too am nervous. I'm still so early in my recovery, only 10 days. I won't have any pills with me, so there's no chance of relapsing while over there. I just pray that by the time Christmas comes around, I will be stronger both mentally and physically. You're in a more difficult situation. The drugs are there for the taking. I'm not sure I could do it if they were so readily accessible. How this ends up depends on how badly you want to quit. Good luck, I pray you find the strength to say no.

I ran into the same problem two years ago. I bargained with myself, and said that it was a "special occasion", and allowed myself to smoke. After that, I was allowing myself to smoke on weekends, and then it was only a matter of time until I was smoking daily again. (Of course I was drinking throughout this period as well).

My suggestion (and what I am going to do myself) is to treat NYE just like any other day. Or, if I celebrate at all, it will be something small, in a calm environment, with people who are not drinking.

Not everyone goes to humongous, booze and smoke filled NYE party. It took me a long time to realize this, but it definitely gave me peace of mind.

I have been invited to a party on NYE but am just going to say that I am feeling ill as I know that drugs will be there.

I dont trust myself to be in the same room as cocaine as I dont know if I can say no.

If I was in your shoes I would avoid the party like the plague - you have done an amazing job to stay clean, so why test yourself?

I hope you won't consider drinking as an option. I smoked daily for over 10 years. Quit, but I never really "recovered" in the sense that I continued to drink and 25 years later found myself on SR trying to pick up the pieces of my life.

This is a recovery site. Sober (or clean) means just that...no intoxicants at all.

As for New Years, I'm with those that say pass this year. A year from now, strong in your recovery, it might be something you can deal with. But if you go this year how many times do you really think you can "pass" the joint or turn down offers to smoke? Twice? Three times before your resistance crumbles. Don't risk it.

Good luck.