When do daily cravings stop?
 

Hi everyone, I am new to this website and have been clean over 100 days, but I find myself consumed by cravings. I even find myself wishing I could go back in time to when I was using. I associate drug use with happiness and "living".

I am 25, and was using for over 10 years. I started out by abusing xanax and all benzos, this summer I was up to taking 30-60mg a day of xanax. Also, an opiate addict for the past 5-6 years.. taking any where from 5-10roxies + 10 percocet+ 6 dilaudid daily in combination with the xanax.

My question is, when will I stop having these intense cravings and urges? How long will it take me to start to enjoy life as is and not wish for an "escape" of some sort. Whenever I am in a room full of people, I wonder who the "addict" is and who's currently taking any drug and really wish I were them! I know that sounds crazy... anyone feel similar or has felt this way before?

Absolutely.

I think it may differ not just from person to person, but from substance to substance.

When I quit drinking many years ago, it took about 3 years before I stopped thinking about alcohol on a daily basis. It didn't take that long for the strong "pulls" (as I called them) to drink stopped -- that took maybe a year? I can't remember.

From oxycodone, it took me maybe 3 months to feel "glad" I had quit. Until then, I just felt like I wanted to feel good again, and I wondered if that was going to happen again, ever.

Well, it did. I feel good now, at 11 months clean. Weird, but I continue to feel ever better on a monthly basis, as my clean time builds, and I've been working on my health at the same time. On oxys, I didn't eat worth crap, and I never exercised. Why should I? I felt just "fine" as long as I was doped up.

Now, I eat better, and I ride a mountain bike. I walk. I go out and do stuff.

You'll feel better and better over time. Your thoughts aren't crazy. Your "addict brain" is still alive and well, and wants to be fed. You just have to learn to not to listen to it, and it gets quieter with time.

FT

Thank you, FT.

That makes me feel, no so alone in the way i'm thinking. I'm constantly wondering what "normal people" think about all the time, but really need to come with terms that I think like an ADDICT!

I agree, there are daily activities like eating and being physically active, I never enjoyed or even did before.. because I just did not care and like you said, I felt "fine" already. I was never on the BMI chart for my weight and height before, I was always too skinny because I used instead of ate most of the time. I gained 12lbs since I went into detox back in July, and even though I know I am healthier.. I still have a hard time accepting it. I just need to be comfortable in my own skin and stop worrying and thinking "i wish this or I wish that..."

Easier said than done!

As stated above each person is different but that's why it is SO important that you're in some kind of group and/or individual recovery program. Many find AA/NA meetings helpful and a great way learn how to deal with cravings. If you're doing it alone that avoid a major relapse is often difficult, Good Luck and congratulations on a job well done!

I think you might like the AVRT thread on the secular connections forum of SR. I used that method without even knowing it, then found it later. If you can't find it, let me know.

FT

Thanks. I go to weekly NA/AA meetings, as well as CR and weekly after care/IOP at the treatment center I was at.

I have hard time approaching people about my personal problems though.. still easier to do it in an online type setting.