Stressed and slipped
 

So today would have been day 5, if I didn't slip. I woke up stressed, scared, panic attacks, soaked from sweat and only got 4 broken hours of sleep. My ex boss, bf and bff (yea a messed up situation there and from here on out he will just be know as B) sent me an email asking me to go through the books to see if he missed anything so he can turn it over to the accountant and my mom (who has been staying with me) told me her house is being forcloused on...sigh.

I do not do well with stress and the thought of going through the books is making me sick to my stomach. I take full responsiblity for what I have done and how much I have hurt B with this betrayal, so I want to help fix what I can but I just can't bring myself to do it :( I am trying to psych myself up for this, so I know what I am dealing with when I am finally sober. But here comes the panic and sick to my stomach feeling...

Just need to vent for a moment, thanks for listening.

It's Okay
 

Just a speed bump, it does sound like you have alot of stress to deal with but I know you can do it, you fell of the wagon but guess what it stopped and waited for you so just hop back on for this wild ride.

Day 4 for me so I have an idea where your at, ****** housing market that's why I got out of loans I was feeling so guilty about signing people on loans I knew they would default on inside of a few years. But at least she's there with you I felt so much better yesterday after I told my parents everything, and Im gonna move back there for a little just to get that love. Don't beat yourself up and jump back on I got a seat right here for ya! :)

Thanks Lost, but the guilty and reality that I must face today just seems to be way to much to handle. What I did was not malicious and everyone knows that but there still will be consiquences for my actions and honestly that is scaring the hell out of me. I have never been in trouble a day in my life, not even a parking ticket! I am trying to find something positive to focus on but that doesn't seem to be helping me today.