Anyone else the child of an addict?
 

Sorry if this is in the wrong spot. I had no idea where to put this. If it's wrong close this and I'll repost in the right place. I really don't want to create problems for the mods.

So my dad has been using for as long as I can remember. He definitely has a problem. I can't remember him ever being not high, he'd buy a 12 pack of beer every night. He excuses it as being an old hippie and getting high is just what they do. I've been using just about anything I can get my hands on since I was 11. He thinks it's cute and funny that I stole from his marijuana stash back then. His favorite story is how he accidentally got me drunk when I was 7. (Those red plastic cups half had lemonade and the other half had beer. I grabbed and chugged the wrong the cup). When I started to get into crystal he ignored it and pretended like nothing was wrong. Even after I got the cops got called on me for a meth psychosis induced assault. He ignores me and refuses to think that anything is wrong.

I've got a year off crystal but I replaced it with drinking and adderall. Which according to him is no problem because me being on the crystal was never a problem to begin with. Also if you ask him alcoholism is a fake problem that doctors made up so they could make money. And my adderall was a prescription so it's the doctors fault I have a problem with it. They're only goal is to make money because I'm hooked on it. (my dad's words not mine)

Tonight I saw him for the first time in a month. Invited him over for dinner and told him I was trying to be sober. He showed up high and brought a 6 pack. Said it was artisan beer so it didn't count as alcohol. Then when I didn't drink he came to the conclusion that I was pregnant (I'm not) and he's refusing to believe anything else.

This is a repost from the june 2011 class. But I don't want to clog that thread up with my daddy issues. I just don't know what to do with him. My MIL has even screamed at him that he's a horrible father. But he's the only family I have. I want him to support me with getting myself healthy. That's what parents are supposed to do right?

Sorry I know this has probably been posted a zillion times and it's stupid. But I needed to get this out and ask for help for what to do with my dad.

(((Cherry))) - I'm sorry for what you are going through, but am really glad you are seeking recovery for yourself.

You're perfectly welcome to post here, but there are a few other forums that may also help...adult children of alcoholics and the friends & family forums (one for loved ones of alcoholics, the other for those who love substance abusers)...there are a lot of people here who have/had addict parents. You are not alone.

I have no personal experience with this, though am a recovering addict and have loved ones who are addicts. I've found SR to be a big part of my recovery...both from crack (and other things I abused) and codependency.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

I am the son of heroin addict. He died two years ago but that doesn't change how he affected my life and myself deeply... He shaped me into what I am today, a person with deep scars and trust issues, also addicted to adderall or ritalin. I have plenty of family that is alive, but only one person that is willing to talk to me like a decent human being...but family doesn't have to be only blood relatives.. Do you not consider your MIL to be family? I consider my former foster parents (who I've only known for two years) to be family...hell they are my family, I don't know what I'd do with out them.

Honestly, my suggestion would be to stay away from him. If he can't support you and is in his own addiction himself, then he's not going to be a good influence on your recovery and will only provide you with more excuses to use. If you don't want to cut him out altogether that's completely understandable, but I would still limit my contact with someone who is still using. Take care of you and take a look at the Adult Children of Alcoholics (or substance abusers) section on SR, you'll find a lot of good info there :).

My MIL is definitely family, she's actually pretty amazing. I guess I could have phrased that sentence as I'm my dad's only family. It really is just the two of us. I'm scared of what would happen to him if I cut him out. But I have my husband and his family. His dad, mom and brothers are all amazing.

I didn't want to put this in the family forum because I don't want to bring them down. Like you guys are trying so hard to help your loved ones. But hey look at me I f***ed up and I'm my dad's mini me. Screwing over people just as much as he has. I dunno maybe I'm thinking about this as too black and white.

Hi Cherry

My folks were normies, but I just wanted to share that the ACOA forum here is actually the Adult Children of Addicted/Alcoholic Parents forum...so you'd be quite welcome there too :)

Adult Children of Addicted/Alcoholic Parents - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

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