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Old 10-11-2011, 05:15 PM   #21 (permalink)
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Post Day two getting of oxycodone

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Originally Posted by failedtaper View Post
Sooners,

Detox is not going to work for you if you are not prepared to be uncomfortable. And I mean REALLY uncomfortable. Including insomnia and RLS, plus a lot more.

FT
Thank you for your reply failedtaper! It means a lot. I was stupid last night, really stupid. I took my last oxy two nights ago and decided I better start yesterday. I didn't wake up until 6:00 p.m. or check that, I woke up a couple of times, but could only get up to use the bathroom and go back to bed. When I did get up (I believe I talked about panic attacks in my previous posts) I started having heavy anxiety, shortness of breath, rapid heart beats and thinking crazy scary things and all I could do was pray and crawl back into bed again. I finally got it under control and got up and took 2 mg of xanax, but couldn't eat anything.

A couple hours later I took another 1 mg of xanax as my anxiety was going through the roof, I didn't want to talk to my wife, son or brother.... I just wanted to be alone. After taking another 2 mg xanax around midnight I felt sleepy enough to go to bed, my wife was rubbing my back and telling me how proud she was of me and that I can get through this, but the worst RLS I've ever had, including the ones I deal with on a weekly basis with being a chronic diabetic Type 1, I had to get out of bed, tried sitting in my recliner, rubbing them, then it moved up towards my arms and I just felt like jumping up and shaking my whole body, I tried walking around, everything I could think of, then I did the stupidest thing ever.

I know better, know better, than to take any kind of benzo with an opioid, but I thought it had been long enough since I took my last benzo (which I haven't taken in over a month because they are as needed for panic attacks), anyway I decided to cut one of my 20 mg Oxycodone IR pills in half and only take 10 mg and to get on the computer and write to my friends on here. The next thing I knew after posting a reply, I was waiting to hear back from someone, but the next thing I remember is my wife waking me up at 7:00 a.m. in the morning, I was slumped over my lab top in my recliner with the forum still on. I will not do that again and I am so mad at myself for not being strong enough to even get through day 1.

I usually take 60-100 mg of Oxycodone a day, this is day 2 now with only having 10 mg of Oxycodone in my system. I am very irritated, have completely no energy. I have a paper due today in which I skipped class and will have to take the 5% discount on my grade, because I can email it in, but at this point I can not even concentrate enough to write a reflection paper on Pastoral Theology concerning the model of "Understanding Family Process" by Friedman. I am praying to God he will grant me the strength to write this paper tomorrow and get it mailed in. But, like I said before, there is no way I could have waited to start this on reading week, my body was already needing more.

Please keep me in your prayers, I never knew just how hard this was going to be, my feet, legs, hands, fingers etc. with my neuropathy are hurting 2X as much right now and my mental state is weak. I have not taking anything today at all and I am afraid of facing the RLS again tonight. They hurt twice as bad when I already have them to begin with, with my neuropathy, almost feel like cutting them off LOL.

Thanks everyone for your help, prayers and insight. I am so glade God led me to this forum and the people are great!

Blessings,

Day 2 and worried
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Old 10-12-2011, 08:57 AM   #22 (permalink)
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Hi sooners,

I have to leave right this moment, as I am a student, too. Ha! At my age!

But I will be back in a few hours to write to you again.

Hey, God brought you here for a reason. Hang in there today. The paper will get written, and you will be okay.

Much love,

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Old 10-12-2011, 10:55 AM   #23 (permalink)
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Kind of hard to write a paper on the toilet LOL. I think my bowls have broken lose, I haven't used the washroom in over three week until I started getting off. My anxiety and panic attacks are at their worst in the morning, it is almost like I can not wake up for hours after getting up. I just got up at 12:52 p.m. I asked my wife to wake me at 9:00 a.m. so I could go in and talk to my pharmacist, he does consultations where as it take a week or more to get into my doctor. I thought he might has some suggestions on what I could take to help me get through this. I found a note on the table saying "I tried to wake you up and you just kept telling me "yeah' "yeah' and wouldn't get up. I just called her and she is on her way back home to pick me up. I really don't know how I am going to write this paper today, hopefully the day will get a little easier at some point. Thank you for being a friend and for your support and don't feel bad about being an older student LOL I am 40 and even have had kids come up to me and ask me if I was professor so and so LOL.

Blessings,
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Old 10-12-2011, 03:14 PM   #24 (permalink)
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Hi sooners,

I often talk to other posters about how opiates are not picky about who they addict -- socioeconomic level matters not.

That said -- Drugs and alcohol may not care who you ARE, but they certainly can knock you down a few pegs from who you could BE.

Life is too short and the steps you take right now are too important to waste them on being an opiate user, no matter how much they may seem to be a "miracle drug" when you first encounter them.

You are doing the right thing to quit opiates. You don't want to be "that guy who uses opiates". Like I said before, look around you and pick out who YOU wish was an opiate-user -- your doctor? your bus driver? your neighbor? your MINISTER? Any one of those people is capable of being opiate dependent and addicted and you would never know it. But if you DID know it, what would you think about the quality of service they were able to give you?

In my profession, you just don't be an opiate user. Period. End of story. There are other ways to deal with chronic pain.

Take care.

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Old 10-12-2011, 03:58 PM   #25 (permalink)
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Post I hear ya

The pharmacist pretty much echoed word for word what you have been saying. I deal with anxiety and panic attacks and have been since I was in my 20's. I have a bottle of xanax that usually last me 6 months or more, because I do not take them unless I start having a full fledged panic attack and with breathing exercises, meditation and change in attitude I've been real successful managing my panic attacks. The one thing he warned me about is that it is ok to use the xanax during this ordeal of coming off the oxycodone, but he was persistent in telling me that he doesn't want me to use it daily for more than 7 days. Like I said I rarely use it to begin with, maybe 1 or 2 times in a period of 2 months, so I've never had a problem being addicted to those, but he said like you said, that after 5-7 days the worst should be over and with me having anxiety and panic attacks coming off the oxycodone, he doesn't want me to become psychologically dependent on them and being to think they are the reason I'm able to cope with the panic attacks. I've had panic attacks since my 20's and I have dealt with them successfully learning alternative means like breathing exercises, meditation, keeping myself busy etc. So I think his main concern was that he didn't want me to use them longer than 7 days, so I don't trade one for the other. I am starting to feel better a little today besides being stuck on the porcelain throne. I haven't had to take any xanax as of yet (Fingers crossing).

You never talk about your profession and I don't want to stick my nose where it doesn't belong, but you have said on multiple occasions that opioids are not exceptable. I don't know what you do for a living and I don't need to know, I was just impressed how you were able to stop, the points of view you share about "who would you want to be on opioids working with you e.g., a doctor, a minister etc." The most quilt I feel personally is for my family, I haven't been half the dad or husband I could be in these last 4 months and this gives me the strength to put this behind me. I think, a lot of times our way of viewing things, our point of view is important and today I decided to take the guilt I am feeling off myself and place it on the oxycodone, make the oxycodone the enemy, get angry at it , make it personal. How can I let something like this destroy all the hard work I have been putting into school, all the blessings I have been given by God, how can I let some little pill take all that away from me and you know what.... IT's not going to! I refuse to lose my life, my work, my family over a (sorry for the language) stupid pill, I will find a way to learn how to live with the pain, some days may not be as good as others, but even my worst day of pain is better than what this little pill offers me. Hate is such a strong word and I don't use it, but right now I am shouting to the roof tops "I hate Oxycodone."

Thank you for standing with me these couple of days and I don't know how to repay you except to pass it on and that I will do my friend.

Blessings,

Keith
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Old 10-19-2011, 03:30 PM   #26 (permalink)
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Back Again

Yes I am back again. After a long period of sobriety I was sucked back into the downward spiral by a Doctor who I am sure had his heart in the right place but did not listen when I told him I was an addict. He insisted that I take these evil pills and, being an addict I was a more than willing participant. What I really do not understand is why he would tell me to crush up the pills and inhale them up my nose. Not only is that illegal but the addiction (I have heard) is as strong as heroine. I did not snort the pills but took them as perscribed, so soon I will be going through the withdrawls again. I know that the physical symptome can be beat, now I have to work on my brain. I wish all of you that are suffering the best, and tell you that this can be beat as long as you "dodn't quit quitting!"
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Old 10-19-2011, 09:10 PM   #27 (permalink)
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Hey sooners, I've been reading the threads, I haven't commented as I am still soaking it all in myself. I am on day 23 off the roxys. This place is a great way to learn what is happening to us. Just letting you know you are not alone!
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Old 10-19-2011, 09:25 PM   #28 (permalink)
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Hey Soccer, did I understand you correctly? You actually had an MD tell you to crush and snort oxys? I have to be reading that wrong...

(My brain is still nowhere near to being back on line so if I misconstrued your post it wouldn't be too surprising...) Please tell me I am missing something...

Man, if I had a doc like that - he/she would have been my new best friend in a heart beat when I was using...

Keep us posted on how the detox goes! Glad you're back!!
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Last edited by Spica; 10-19-2011 at 09:31 PM. Reason: I can't type...I can't type...I can't type...
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Old 10-19-2011, 09:28 PM   #29 (permalink)
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Post

Quote:
Originally Posted by soccer View Post
Yes I am back again. After a long period of sobriety I was sucked back into the downward spiral by a Doctor who I am sure had his heart in the right place but did not listen when I told him I was an addict. He insisted that I take these evil pills and, being an addict I was a more than willing participant. What I really do not understand is why he would tell me to crush up the pills and inhale them up my nose. Not only is that illegal but the addiction (I have heard) is as strong as heroine. I did not snort the pills but took them as prescribed, so soon I will be going through the withdrawals again. I know that the physical symptom can be beat, now I have to work on my brain. I wish all of you that are suffering the best, and tell you that this can be beat as long as you "don't quit quitting!"
Man, I am sorry to hear that you got caught up again. I know dealing with chronic or acute pain is horrible, but these little pills can be even worse as well. It blows my mind that a licensed doctor told you to crush (I am assuming oxycontin) the pill and snort it. That is horrible advice and yes when you do it that way the euphoric feeling you get is strong and so hard to break. Please, please don't ever crush them and mix and inject. I'm begging you and I don't even know you, but I care for everyone on here. I was set to start my detox off of oxyIR last week, but couldn't do it due to family stressors going on at this time, so (I am 40 and working on my masters degree at university) I am back to the original plan of taking my reading week (week off from school) to do my detox. I got my MMAR (I'm from Canada) in the mail this week thanks be to God. My doctor told me she would rather me use medical marijuana than to use oxycodone so we have been waiting on my paperwork to come in from the government. I was approved and can legally have 1 ounce per month. She said it would also help me get off the oxycodoneIR. I have used Marijuana before and have NEVER experienced the hell of getting off of it like this horrible pills. She said it would aid me in the nausea, depression and pain as I come off these pills, and when I reach a tolerance like I have with the oxy's, I will just have to deal with the pain for a while, staying off the marijuana for a couple weeks to a month and then begin therapy again, which like I said before, I have quit using that many times cold turkey with no horrible side effects. Anyway, enough about me, please keep posting and if you need someone to talk to please don't hesitate to continue posting on this thread, I am subscribed to this thread so I will get any new post in my email.

Good luck, stay strong and God bless my friend.
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Old 10-19-2011, 11:32 PM   #30 (permalink)
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crazy doctor

Jeez there must be a line to see that doctor. I thought my friend was crazy when he told me to crush and snort but a doctor what a bastardo. I wonder what kind of kick back he/she are getting from the company cuz they are trying to get people hooked. Your right you can be the physical part easily just takes a bit of being uncomfortable, now work on the mental and realize that is a lifetime project. Best of luck, stay strong, and for gods sake stay away from Dr Kevorkian.
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Old 10-20-2011, 04:08 PM   #31 (permalink)
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your read dit right

Yes you read it right, the doc told me to snort them. I taking them yesterday after only one week. The withdrawls are not so bad as they were before. I keep all of you in my prayers and hope that you will do the same for me. Dont let my failure shape your success. Know that it can be done!
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Old 10-20-2011, 04:22 PM   #32 (permalink)
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The important thing, Soccer, is you made it back!!!
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Old 10-20-2011, 04:23 PM   #33 (permalink)
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The important thing, Soccer, is you made it back!!!
Amen!
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Old 10-21-2011, 11:52 AM   #34 (permalink)
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Thanks

Thanks all for the words of encouragement. This has always been a great place to come and get the help needed. I just do not want anyone to take my failure (temporary) as a rule. You can beat these nasty little pills with support of friends and family, and most important to me, lots of prayers. I wish all of you the best and thanks again.
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Old 11-01-2011, 06:00 PM   #35 (permalink)
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4 days now

im now on my 4 day of no opiates, i took my last dose which was 15mg of oxy ir, i was doing 60-120mg on a daily basis, using hydrocodone to combat bad withdrawel symptoms when oxy wasnt availible, been doing it for atleast a year and before that it was oxy then hydro back and forth for a year and a half so almost 3 years total on opiates in some form of dosage, mostly high recently.

im doing it for the money aspect, ispend most of my paychecks on the meds cause im only perscribed tramadol for my back pain, and that doens give me justice, thou its hurting me more financially than physically( i Hope) mentally i was happy about everything else, i could do my job with stellar perfomance, i wasnt in pain, and i could sleep at night(which i always had a problem with)but i owe money to my parents and not being able to pay them has started to take the toll on me

if anyone is still watching this thread please chime in, im doing good physically, despite the stomach problems, otherwise im just bored out of my mind
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Old 11-01-2011, 07:49 PM   #36 (permalink)
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Hey Lucus - welcome to SR! Let us know how everything is going!

If you have any questions please ask away - remember to hydrate as much as possible over the next couple of weeks - preferably gatorade, juice, etc...

Good luck to you and hope to hear from you!!
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Old 11-02-2011, 11:36 AM   #37 (permalink)
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Hey spica, how many days are you goin on now, last nite was not that great only got a few hours of sleep, an woke up with a head ache, stomach cramps were bad this morning but have subsided, I think I am starting to feel a lil better today than the last couple
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Old 11-02-2011, 12:15 PM   #38 (permalink)
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Hey Lucus - I am about 50 some odd days into the clean life.

While detox is not fun it is doable - I plan to remember how many times I was miserable for a good long time.

Please remember to stay hydrated through this period...you are losing tons of fluids. It is best to stick with things like gatorade, juice, etc than sodas and try to stay away from caffeine as much as possible...

I want to share a link with you that I also posted on a different thread - this is for PAWS - some of the stuff that comes after the acute phase. This article is good because it doesn't just describe the symptoms but also gives suggestions on how to get through it. It was shown to me by one of the members here I hold in high regard!

PAWS ę Digital Dharma

Hang in there and keep posting!!!
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Old 11-02-2011, 02:31 PM   #39 (permalink)
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im now on my 4 day of no opiates, i took my last dose which was 15mg of oxy ir, i was doing 60-120mg on a daily basis, using hydrocodone to combat bad withdrawel symptoms when oxy wasnt availible, been doing it for atleast a year and before that it was oxy then hydro back and forth for a year and a half so almost 3 years total on opiates in some form of dosage, mostly high recently.

im doing it for the money aspect, ispend most of my paychecks on the meds cause im only perscribed tramadol for my back pain, and that doens give me justice, thou its hurting me more financially than physically( i Hope) mentally i was happy about everything else, i could do my job with stellar perfomance, i wasnt in pain, and i could sleep at night(which i always had a problem with)but i owe money to my parents and not being able to pay them has started to take the toll on me

if anyone is still watching this thread please chime in, im doing good physically, despite the stomach problems, otherwise im just bored out of my mind
Dear Lucus86,

Just keep posting as you are going through this, especially if you feel you are losing control and want to go back to oxy. Please don't, you have come so far already! 4 days is an accomplishment, it really is! I am not an expert by no means, I am on 20mg 3x a day and was waiting on my alternative medication to come in before I started withdrawal, it has come in this week, now I just have to pick a day and start. This couldn't come at a worse time for me as finals and all are coming up (I'm 40, but I am in university finishing my master, M.Div), I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow at 10:30 a.m., I am going to see if it may be better for me to wait, as finals are done by the first week of December and I will have almost a month off before second semester, in which I can go through this horrible experience, but enough about me. Please keep it up, keep going, I'm pulling for you and will be praying for you.

Good Luck!
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Old 11-02-2011, 02:46 PM   #40 (permalink)
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Hey Sooners - best of luck on your finals!!!

It may be a good idea to wait until you have that time off to start the withdrawal/detox process - it can take a lot out of you and you will want to take it easy on yourself!!
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