Not so good.

Old 08-03-2010, 01:20 PM
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Not so good.

So I should be on day 7 of being clean now from drinking & marijuana, and yea the title pretty much sums it up. I've already drank once this week, and tomorrow mother has planned a big party planned for a close relative which I cant miss. Feel stuck. As for the marijuana, can't seem to stop even for a day. So frustrated, the drinking is my first priority, at least wit pot I'm not acting a fool and have a banging head to follow. Argh.
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Old 08-03-2010, 01:25 PM
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RIP Sweet Suki
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Maybe you should try AA meetings. If what you have been doing isn't working, you need to do something different. Why can't you miss the party? Can you just go for a limited amount of time and then leave? Does your mom know you are trying to stop drinking? We can always find an excuse to drink. It just depends on how important sobriety is to you.
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Old 08-03-2010, 03:52 PM
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hi Girl1234

I know I tried to do it my way with both those drugs...willpower alone just didn;t cut it for me.

Find some support - whether it's here, or AA, or counselling or whatever - the only way to change your life is to make changes

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Old 08-03-2010, 04:38 PM
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girl1234, Did you ever think that maybe your not ready? And if you are ready, you can try really hard. Put your mind to it, concentrate, and be aware. Stay away from temptation. Stay away from places where everyone is smoking and drinking. Stay away from bars, and if you have to go to the party, drink club soda, or juice. If you really wanted to do it. You could. I have faith in you. You have to make up your mind to do it, and then you will.
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Old 08-04-2010, 01:45 AM
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Only by going to AA did I learn why it was important for me to stop smoking weed as well as drinking, Now I have been totally clean for over 2 months but it took 4 months of AA meetings (no alcohol but still smoking daily) and getting a sponsor to get me to stop everything. So I agree with Dee.

You are still doing better than you were so try to remember that- progress not perfection. Keep moving in the right direction and get some face to face support if you can
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Old 08-04-2010, 05:06 AM
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Simple, but true:

"If Nothinig Changes, Nothing Changes"

We can't keep up the same behavior and expect different results--that is the definition of insanity!

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Old 08-04-2010, 01:41 PM
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Did you ever think that maybe your not ready? And if you are ready, you can try really hard.

I think u r exactly right. I dont really think I am. I feel like such an idiot saying this, but i guess this is the only place that i cant lie to myself, but Im hungover right now and full of regret. Made such a fool out of myself lastnite. I feel like dying right now. My bf hates me, apparently i was flirting with some guy. Arrggh, I hate this. I literally cannot remember anything. Well only the good things I did. Not the hundreds of bad ones I heard this morning. Im so angry at myself. The countless hangovers, and feeling guilty, and like such a fool, embarrased. Im not from the us, im from new zealand, aa meetings arent a big thing and i know myself, i would never go I dont like crowds and telling everyone my problems face to face i guess. I just really want the urge, motivation, power to just not want to drink, but I fail, everytime.
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Old 08-05-2010, 09:53 AM
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Hi Girl1234

I had the same problems as you did more than 2 months ago. Before I put BOTH the booze and weed down I would try to stop 1 and moderate the other and it ALWAYS failed. I would end up doing both again in short order.

You mentioned you have a little boy. I have 4 very young kids myself and the reason why I quit everything for good.

You are in the position of great responsibility for your little boy. Now is the time he will look up to you and see all your actions. Now is the time that you are shaping this young boy into what he will be later in life.

NOW is the time that you are destroying his one and only childhood that is the time he should be happy and full of smiles. Not a mom that is hung over or to stoned to think straight.

Once I had this sort of thinking hit me dead straight between the eyes then I was done for good...

Please stop for your boy.
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Old 08-05-2010, 12:17 PM
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When I got clean, I had to be willing to do whatever it took to get and stay that way. Including something things that were out of my comfort zone - like go to meetings. I figured if I was willing to risk my life every day drinking and drugging, and making an a$$ out of myself, i could at least TRY a meeting and see if it would help. It did. It got me on the path to getting my sanity back. And I met people like me, who were struggling to get there sanity back too.

This New Zealand AA Meetings finder may help you... when you are ready to get clean and sober...

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Old 08-05-2010, 12:44 PM
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You can pick your own bottom. Early on i sat down and wrote, as honestly as possible (in retrospect i was still a little full of it). SMART has some DIY worksheets free online that helped me refocus and cut through the layers of my own bs. Either way we're still here. Keep us posted. A lot of people find early success by avoiding all tiggers ("friend, places etc) for awhile. That strategy gave me some initial traction.
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Old 08-05-2010, 06:52 PM
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In all honesty: I couldn't get clean on my own. It wasn't going to happen. Without my counselor around to guide me and provide support i'd still be using. I'd really recommend finding support somewhere.

Everytime you go to drink think about your son. Perhaps it's not a great idea to go places where alcohol is being served if you have a problem with it?

Try to think of it just one day at a time. If you go one day without smoking or drinking than you have that one day, and it's a point to grow off of. Eventually one day turns to two days and two days turns into a week and so on.

It's a process and not an easy one at that.

Good luck and keep coming back
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Old 08-05-2010, 07:27 PM
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You have to truly figure out what you want and then build upon that.....
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